Saturday, August 16, 2008

Mary Matalin Found Guilty of Editorial Malpractice; Former
Cheney Aide Sentenced to Memorize Jerome Corsi's Doctoral
Dissertation, Prior Restraint, Prior Punishment, and Political
Dissent: a Moral and Legal Evaluation
With the Arctic ice cap shrinking, the polar owl is definitely
beginning to manifest the early signs of an identity crisis.
McCain Says 'Dancing Queen' His Favorite Tune

Dancing Queen Says McCain His Favorite Republican
Laying On of Hands Puts President Back
on the Straight and Narrow
Recovering Alcoholic Says Cold Beer Helps Stiffen His Resolve
President Bush Falls Off the Wagon,
Is Helped Back On by Secret Service
Conservative Dems Sweeping the South; "Sidewalks
Noticeably Cleaner," Shoppers Say
McCain Finds Corsi Hatchet-Job on Obama Funny,
Then Backpedals
Things Older Than John McCain #10
Gobero Grave
Georgia Locals Say Bigfoot Killed During Russian Invasion

Friday, August 15, 2008

If you've ever wanted to gawk at Mary Matalin's ass
before she had a butt lift, here it is.
Tired of being bullied and intimidated by his Russian rival,
President Bush decided to take his ball and go home.
Shirtless Obama Scares Republicans Shitless
New Farmers Branch Law Requires Lawns to Be Edged,
Trimmed; Homeowners Panicked by Sudden Shortage
of 'Landscape Architects'
"OK, I'll admit I'm slightly more dead than Jerome Corsi.
But, like Senator McCain, I've kept my sense of humor."
"My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious
crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War. But don't
be alarmed. Sometimes I’m given to a little hyperbole."
With emotions as violent as the wind-swept prairie, Bad Boy
Putin eagerly awaited his duel in the sun with the Arizona Kid.
"Ready to kick some Rooskie ass, kid?"
Fearguth's Rules of Order #15
To prove a bribery charge, you must adduce one or more
quid pro crows.
"I don't know, Sarko. Ms. Bruni always seems to be
looking down her nose at me."
Potty Humor
Inside Jerome Corsi's Workshop

Landline-Intolerant iPhone 3G Activist
When Poppin' Fresh Was a Baby

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Unless you meet Representative Bill Sali (R-ID) in person,
you will never know that there can be up to forty barrels of
bullshit in a single congressman.
If Hot Chicks dig Obama,

Cool Chicks dig McCain.
"I think that the pro-life position is one of the important
aspects or fundamentals of the Republican Party. That's
why I'm seriously considering Tom Ridge, who is a great
leader and happens to be pro-choice, as my running mate.
This is not a flip-flop. This is a triple reverse inward
somersault with a full twist in the pike position."
"I see four key battleground states. I see dead people."
"That's MY waterbowl, you mangy cur!"
"So, what was it like, Leo, to work for MGM during
the Golden Age of Hollywood? And is it true you
were told Ars Gratia Artis meant 'Feed the Lion'?"
If Stanley Kubrick were still alive, his next project might be
a John McCain biopic, entitled Full Metal Straitjacket.
If Spermatozoa Made a Movie about High-Speed Insertions
"Yessir, whites will be a minority group by 2042, the Census
Bureau is predicting. That makes the racial dimension of
the 2008 presidential election a lot easier for me to
understand. What about you?"
"In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.
They liberate them."
Rush Limbaugh's Three Ex-Wives Not Attracted to
the Mouth That Did Something Other Than Talk
"Spare the rod, O Lord, spare the rod!"
Top McCain Surrogates Heading To Georgia, Say They
Don't Believe Their Paychecks Were Ever in the Mail

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Michael Phelps Declares Statehood; Wins More Olympic
Gold Medals Than the Entire Axis of Evil
It was bad enough Cindy's wrist had been sprained
by some overenthusiastic McCainiac. But the very
idea that there was no sling available that complemented
her beads and blazer---well, that was a sign she wasn't
quite the celebrity Michelle Obama was. And she didn't
like that. Not. At. All.
Spokesman for Constipated Republicans
Defends 'Irregular' Lifestyle

Constipation Finally Finds Its Voice
When Putu grew to be a man, he was the perfect blend
of political mediocrity: always moderate, mildly
middle-of-the-road, cautiously centrist, basically

bipartisan, proudly independent
, mostly mainstream,
frequently undecided, a tried-and-true swing voter.

No doubt about it,
there wasn't a solid political bone in
his body. He was positively Broderian.
“Yesterday, I heard Senator McCain say, ‘We are all Georgians now'.
Well, very nice, you know, very cheering for us to hear that, but OK,
it’s time to pass from this. From words to deeds. Hey, Mr. Bush,
what's so funny?"
It was no use. Even the Tandem Heimlich Maneuver
couldn't save some people from choking.

"Senator McCain would love to join you here by his pool, but
he's rather indisposed at the moment, having declared war on
Russia and stuff."
Okie from Muskogee

Cokie from Malebolge