Mary Matalin Found Guilty of Editorial Malpractice; Former

Cheney Aide Sentenced to Memorize Jerome Corsi's Doctoral

Dissertation, Prior Restraint, Prior Punishment, and Political

Dissent: a Moral and Legal Evaluation

With the Arctic ice cap shrinking, the polar owl is definitely

beginning to manifest the early signs of an identity crisis.

McCain Says 'Dancing Queen' His Favorite Tune

Dancing Queen Says McCain His Favorite Republican

Laying On of Hands Puts President Back

on the Straight and Narrow

Recovering Alcoholic Says Cold Beer Helps Stiffen His Resolve

President Bush Falls Off the Wagon,

Is Helped Back On by Secret Service

Conservative Dems Sweeping the South; "Sidewalks

Noticeably Cleaner," Shoppers Say

McCain Finds Corsi Hatchet-Job on Obama Funny,

Then Backpedals

Things Older Than John McCain #10

Gobero Grave

Georgia Locals Say Bigfoot Killed During Russian Invasion

If you've ever wanted to gawk at Mary Matalin's ass

before she had a butt lift, here it is.

Tired of being bullied and intimidated by his Russian rival,

President Bush decided to take his ball and go home.

Shirtless Obama Scares Republicans Shitless

New Farmers Branch Law Requires Lawns to Be Edged,

Trimmed; Homeowners Panicked by Sudden Shortage

of 'Landscape Architects'

"OK, I'll admit I'm slightly more dead than Jerome Corsi.

But, like Senator McCain, I've kept my sense of humor."

"My friends, we have reached a crisis, the first probably serious

crisis internationally since the end of the Cold War. But don't

be alarmed. Sometimes I’m given to a little hyperbole."

With emotions as violent as the wind-swept prairie, Bad Boy

Putin eagerly awaited his duel in the sun with the Arizona Kid.

"Ready to kick some Rooskie ass, kid?"

Fearguth's Rules of Order #15

To prove a bribery charge, you must adduce one or more

quid pro crows.

"I don't know, Sarko. Ms. Bruni always seems to be

looking down her nose at me."

Potty Humor

Inside Jerome Corsi's Workshop

Landline-Intolerant iPhone 3G Activist

When Poppin' Fresh Was a Baby

Unless you meet Representative Bill Sali (R-ID) in person,

you will never know that there can be up to forty barrels of

bullshit in a single congressman.

Arkansas Killing Suspect Left Graffiti, Target Says

If Hot Chicks dig Obama,

Cool Chicks dig McCain.

"I think that the pro-life position is one of the important
aspects or fundamentals of the Republican Party. That's
why I'm seriously considering Tom Ridge, who is a great
leader and happens to be pro-choice, as my running mate.
This is not a flip-flop. This is a triple reverse inward
somersault with a full twist in the pike position."

"I see four key battleground states. I see dead people."

"That's MY waterbowl, you mangy cur!"

"So, what was it like, Leo, to work for MGM during

the Golden Age of Hollywood? And is it true you

were told Ars Gratia Artis meant 'Feed the Lion'?"

If Stanley Kubrick were still alive, his next project might be

a John McCain biopic, entitled Full Metal Straitjacket.

If Spermatozoa Made a Movie about High-Speed Insertions

"Yessir, whites will be a minority group by 2042, the Census

Bureau is predicting. That makes the racial dimension of

the 2008 presidential election a lot easier for me to

understand. What about you?"

"In the 21st century, nations don’t invade other nations.

They liberate them."

Rush Limbaugh's Three Ex-Wives Not Attracted to

the Mouth That Did Something Other Than Talk

"Spare the rod, O Lord, spare the rod!"

Top McCain Surrogates Heading To Georgia, Say They

Don't Believe Their Paychecks Were Ever in the Mail

Michael Phelps Declares Statehood; Wins More Olympic

Gold Medals Than the Entire Axis of Evil

It was bad enough Cindy's wrist had been sprained

by some overenthusiastic McCainiac. But the very

idea that there was no sling available that complemented

her beads and blazer---well, that was a sign she wasn't

quite the celebrity Michelle Obama was. And she didn't

like that. Not. At. All.

Spokesman for Constipated Republicans

Defends 'Irregular' Lifestyle

Constipation Finally Finds Its Voice

When Putu grew to be a man, he was the perfect blend
of political mediocrity: always moderate, mildly
middle-of-the-road, cautiously centrist, basically
bipartisan, proudly independent, mostly mainstream,
frequently undecided, a tried-and-true swing voter.
No doubt about it, there wasn't a solid political bone in
his body. He was positively Broderian.

“Yesterday, I heard Senator McCain say, ‘We are all Georgians now'.

Well, very nice, you know, very cheering for us to hear that, but OK,

it’s time to pass from this. From words to deeds. Hey, Mr. Bush,

what's so funny?"

It was no use. Even the Tandem Heimlich Maneuver

couldn't save some people from choking.

"Senator McCain would love to join you here by his pool, but

he's rather indisposed at the moment, having declared war on

Russia and stuff."

Okie from Muskogee

Cokie from Malebolge