Saturday, August 13, 2011

Michele Bachmann Wins Ames Straw Poll, Now Trying
to Decide What to Do with All That Straw
"When did you first learn, Mr. Chait, that you're
only 67% full of shit?"
"Egads!  This is Fearguth's 19,000th
post on Bildungblog!  Don't pass
 the word!"
Governor Perry-Rain God Standoff, Day 150
Not Safe for Work

Not Safe for Dirk
Weary Willie

Weary Willie's Grandson
In Syria, people like John Derbyshire are
called 'Assadists'.  In America, they are
called 'Asshatists'.
Ask to see Texas Congressman Joe Barton's Dim Bulb
Club membership card and he'll gladly show it to you.
"Tonight, on The Wrestling Channel, it's Rush Limbaugh
vs. Roger Ailes in the 2011 Grand Sumo Tournament."
The annual salary of a Walmart Greeter in Texas is $14,000.
That would pay the rent for one month on the 5-bedroom, 7-
bath mansion Rick Perry and his wife occupy in north Austin.
 And, of course, the Walmart Greeter, as a Texas taxpayer,
 has to help pay Governor Perry's $10,000-a-month rent.
Lady Fearguth's Garden of
Earthly Delights #2
Widow Skimmer Dragonfly
[Click to Embiggen]
Lady Fearguth's Garden of
Earthly Delights #1
Purple Conflower
[Click to Embiggen]
Porksicles, Not Palin, Center of Attention
at Iowa State Fair
Three Presidents from Texas have tried and failed to deliver
 the coup de grâce to the United States of America. Has God
chosen Rick Perry as the Texan to finally get the job done?
If corporations are people, this guy must be ExxonMobil.
"Hell, no!  I don't need a Pippa Butt Lift!"
The characters in Pokémon 2000 were shocked when
they heard that Donna Summer was only lip-synching
'The Power of One', which was actually being vocalized
 by Herman Cain, who thought he was singing the
closing song at the 2000 Summer Olympics.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Chairman Meow Wants Senator Rand Paul to
Explain Why Cats Aren't Corporations, Too
Obama to Begin Bus Trip Across an Unsettled Nation
California Man Accused of Biting Dog and
Trying to Break into Prison
Figurehead Which Was Once on the Prow of the Good Ship
Lollipop, Now on Display in the Figurehead Hall of the
 Naval Museum, Karlskrona Sweden
"Good to meet you, John Doe Corp., I'm Rand Paul, Inc."
Warm Scuzzies #210
Phillip Hinkle
Days of the Cougar:  The Outrageous Visual Diary of an
Adventurous Muscle Car is out this week.  You will find
it in a plain brown wrapper in the 'Adults Only' section
of your favorite bookstore. 
Vanilla Ice Releases 'Cain Cain Baby', His Latest Rap
"I'm not going to debate you, Jerry."

Thursday, August 11, 2011

"With Marcus' help, I'm sure we can heal your son and 
pray away these dreadful redlocks." 
"I think there are Senators and there are
Symbolic Senators. And then there are
Hobbit Senators, like me."
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #121
Mark Steyn and Pam Geller
Senator Max Baucus, Montana Philanthropist,
Donates Family Jewels to 28th Annual
Ryegate Testicle Festival
Mr. Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and
Mrs. Floccinaucinihilipilification
Man Claims to Be Further to the Right Than Rick Perry,
But Nobody Believes Him
"It all depends on how out of shape your human prey is
 and how fast he can run ."
"Believe me, Rick Perry is a leftist mole, a crypto-liberal,
a one-man sleeper cell, a terror baby from the 1950s!"
"Whaddya mean 'Go slow, dear'? 
That's the only way I can go!"
"Just between you and me, Marge, she looks just like that
crazy lady on the cover of Newsweek magazine."
Representative Tom Graves (R-GA), a member of the Tea
Party Caucus, sez:  "I would not do business with any bank
 that would lend someone like me $2 million."
"Corporations are people, my friend, just like I am!" said
Mittco, a subsidiary of Romney, Inc.
A more perfect justice would be for Mark Ciavarella to
spend the next 28 years locked up in one of the juvenile
detention centers he took bribes to help fill.
Insane Palin Posse to Take Bus to Iowa
Hooker's Drawers Currently Down Around Ankles
Good Things Flow from American Oil
79% of Americans Dissatisfied with U.S. Political System, But
Are Too Busy Complaining About It to Do Anything to Change It
Jon Bruning, Nebraska Attorney-General, Regrets Making
'Inartful' Statements, Such as, "If We Don't Incent Them to
Work, Coons Are Gonna Take the Easy Route"
Bronco Dumps Rider, Refuses to Take Part in
'Horsemaning', the New Facebook Craze

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Polygamy Cult Erects
Warren Jeffs Memorial
Warm Scuzzies #209
Gooseberry Natural Resources LLC
Eye-Licking Central Feature of Male Gecko Mating Ritual