Mothers of Invention

Mothers of Intervention

Like Dracula, the Vampire Monkey never drank wine.  But

it would kill for a banana daiquiri.

Luke Skywalker

Luke Floorwalker

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #37

David Benham

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #569

Mike Christian

Just to be clear:  Matthew Hagee is not

Pugsley Addams' older brother.

Ultra-Modern Briefs Feature Secret Dick Cheney Pocket

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #48

Daniel Henninger

First there was the man who mistook

his wife for a hat.

Then there was the man who mistook

his dick for a hat.

The Pinocchiosaurus was a living reminder that it was un-

wise for a dinosaur to lie about being Tyrannosaurus Rex.

What S. E. Cupp Looks Like When She's Being Bullied

by Bill Nye the Science Guy

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #568

Steve Hickey

Kevin Williamson Sez:  "I'm a borderline anarchist from 

Lubbock, Texas, for Pete's sake, albeit a pretty conserva-

tive borderline anarchist."

[Isn't 'conservative anarchist' an oxymoron?]

"Hi, my name is Thom Tillis and I'm nuttier than a fruitcake!"

Warm Scuzzies #464

Ken Paxton

"Democrats bragging about the number of 

mandatory sign ups for Obamacare is like me

 bragging about how ignorant and repugnant I

 can be without even standing up."

Ted Nugent's Got Wood

"Hey, Benghazi, Needle-Nose!"

"Who are you calling 'Needle-Nose', Hammerhead?"

Freddie the Freeloader Sez:  "Hey, buddy,

could you give me a lift to Bunkerville?"

Militiaman Jerry DeLemus apparently doesn't realize his

cammies were designed for the mountains of New

Hampshire, his home state, and not the deserts of 

Nevada, where he is playing the fool on behalf of

Cliven 'The Moocher' Bundy.

World's Worst Yobs #304

Joe Concha

Mona Sinclair Sez:  "If I had to marry Steve Wiles,

I would oppose same-sex marriage, too."

"I don't give a rat's ass that the title has

 already been used by someone else!  

Killing Benghazicare will be the title of 

my next bestseller, or else!"

May the Firth of Forth Be With You!

"I will now read to you my latest poetic effusion,

'Two Twits Tweeting on Twitter'."

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #47

Steve Wiles