Saturday, July 01, 2006

These South Korean soldiers are proxies for the
American military which has demanded that the
citizens of Pyongtaek be thrown off their land to
make room for a bigger U. S. military presence in
South Korea. It's all part of our nation's 'How to Win
Friends and Influence People' campaign.

Yes, there are no whales to watch in the Dead Sea.
Would you settle for sumo wrestlers?
It's easy to understand why some people favor a
ban on flag burning.
Ramesh Chad Kushwa's moustache is 7.5 feet long. He says,
"I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent."
Andriy Piatov has learned that one of the disadvantages
of being a soccerhead is that it is easy to misplace your balls.
After you grab the bull by the tail, then what?
Dangerously Horny Model on the Runway
Sir Thomas Wyatt the Younger Auctions
His Own Portrait at Sotheby's
Wanted: Interior Designer to Redecorate
Palestinian Interior Ministry

Friday, June 30, 2006

There are now 300 million people living in the U. S.
But it takes only one Tom Tancredo to make it full.

It took Edward Gibbon three volumes and twelve years
to chronicle the decline and fall of the Roman Empire.
Because of great advances in technology, it will take
Montserrat Cuesta only a few weeks and 10,000 tons of
sand to do the same thing.
Car Camping Tip #1
Some lanterns, like this one, are not recommended
for use in National Park Service campgrounds.
Would you trust your health and life to a doctor who
helps torch an effigy of the leader of a political party?
In India, people do.
Say what you will about Buddhism, but when
was the last time you heard about a Buddhist
who blew up a bunch of people with a bomb?

As the effects of global warming become increasingly evident,
baby polar bears are being trained to share their ecological
niche with hippopotamuses.
The elderly gentleman did his best to ignore the
strange creature trapped inside the giant bubble.
Solitario George needs your help. For forty years,
officials at Galapagos National Park have been offering
$10,000 to anyone who can find him a mate. So far, this
giant tortoise has had to settle for toys he receives from
Blowfish, the home of 'Good Products for Great Sex'.

The new 'bomb-resistant vehicle' is
obviously not traffic-jam resistant.
Archbishop of Canterbury,
the Horseless Headman
Michelle Malkin's Pet Dingo
A Textbook Case of Lying Down on the Job
Froggy Went a' Courtin'
Let's agree that homophobes are crazy.
Let's also agree that a pot belly paired
with a pink bikini is so last year.
When not in use as a motorized conveyance, the
new DaimlerChrysler Smart ForTwo can be used
as a paperweight or boat anchor.
"When we get to Graceland, Mr. Prime Minister,
you won't believe the King's cool pink Cadillac."
Inasmuch as the front wall of his domicile is covered with
Lopez Obrador propaganda, this Mexico City resident is
happy he's not going to vote for Felipe Calderon.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

After over three years, the punchline to the most
expensive joke ever told has finally been delivered: a
'bomb-resistant vehicle' designed to deal with the problem
of IEDs in Iraq. Costing only God knows how much, it made
its debut the other day in New York City. It is so heavily laden
with armor that its fuel efficiency is measured in gallons per
mile, and from a standing start, it can reach the quarter-mile
mark if you're patient enough. Named in honor of our Secretary
of Defense, it is called the "Rummy Dummymobile."
Incredible Expanding Man Donates Hand-Me-Down
Levi's to Blue Jean Climbing School
Now that the U. S. House of Representatives
has dealt with the issues of flag desecration,
same-sex marriage, New York Times intelligence
leaks, and mandatory gun trigger locks, it's time for
this august body to take up a question that vexes
Americans from coast to coast:
"Are Ann Coulter's tits real?"
Here's a homeless boy taking a bath in a bucket.
Let us hope that someone didn't throw the baby
out with the bathwater.
Are these men modeling underwear, shoes,
or sunglasses? Hard to tell, isn't it?
And why does it take so many to show so little?
Hey guys, listen up! Your favorite
brand of caramel corn is considering a
promotion where the winner will find
Brittany Brower and a Sidekick 3 in
a box of Cracker Jack. Just how cool
is that, dudes?
If human suffering were limited to what is caused
by natural forces, we could deal with it. But it's
the human suffering caused by other humans that
pushes us to point where we cry out like a child,
"Why do we suffer so much?"
Representative Bob Ney of Ohio told Senate investigators in
November 2004 that he had done nothing to assist the Tigua
Indians of Texas, and, furthermore, he was not even familiar
with the tribe. This is a picture of Congressman Ney, flanked
by Carlos Hisa and Raul Gutierrez, two officials of the Tigua
tribe, taken in a hearing room on Capitol Hill in August 2002.
Confronted with this discrepancy, Representative Ney said,
"My memory is an unfaithful mistress, whose name I forget."
Palestinian Newspaper for Beginners
Pope Benedict Checks His Email on Diatessaron-Enabled Sidekick
Future wars won't be fought over oil.
Future wars will be fought over drinking water.
Ancient Vs. Modern Modes of Camouflage
Serbs Wave Serbian Flag in Wild Blue Yonder
Tibetan Pilgrim Worships in Naqu-Lhasa Highway's
Prayer Lane
"Smile and Say, 'Wal-Mart Rules!'"
John Smoltz and Chipper Jones Demonstrate Use
of New Cell Phone-Equipped Baseball Gloves
Just Another Day at Teapots R Us
Ex-Propellerheads Have a Powwow

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

These eyes have seen everything.
As is fitting, Secretary Rumsfeld's face is clearly
showing the early warning signs of rigor mortis.
Life Imitates Art
You have probably never seen a farmer feeding
his eels before. Well, now you have. But you
still haven't seen a hovercraft full of eels, have you?
Democracy raises its hand in Egypt,
asks to take three baby steps, but
forgets to say, "Mother, may I?".
Here's how education reform is debated in Athens,
Socrates' home town. First, students rally. Second, the
police gas them and threaten to bring out the hemlock.