Glenn Beck Reportedly Poisoned by Practicing
Unprotected Lucubration of Progressivism

The most plausible explanation for the way Sharron Angle

looks, talks, and acts is that she's on drugs--or should be.

If you have a hard time visualizing how

plate tectonics works, just look at

Rick Perry's face.

"I almost have American democracy in my grasp.  And

when I finally do, I'll crush it like a soda can."

Rude Rhymes #32

Allen West

"What's in the teapot?"

"No Social Security, No Medicare, No Medicaid,
No Minimum Wage, No Child Labor Laws,

No Public Schools, No 14th Amendment, No 16th

Amendment, No 17th Amendment, No Abortions,

No Gays, No New Taxes."

"With so many No's, it must be empty."

"Hardly.  It's full of Koch Suckers and

Crazy People."

Confirmed:  Fox News Originates from Mars (the Roman

God of War) and Its Two Moons , Phobos (Fear) and

Deimos (Panic)

Halal-Certified

"Sorry I can't stand up straight tonight, but

I've got Sean Hannity in my back pocket."

"I see Dick Armey, but where are the piranhas?"

Fearguth and Loathing in the 21st Century #15

Imagine sucking a fertilized duck egg through a straw. 
That would be Brian Kilmeade.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #237

David Harmer

"Did you just say your name is 'Frantz Kebreau', or am I
 drunker than a skunk?"

'Snail Giving Head to a Frog', Just One of the Many
Pornographic Emails Forwarded by Carl Paladino to
 His Buddies in the Construction Industry

"It's definitely triplets, Mrs. Nicholls, and I would swear I
heard them arguing over who was the smartest guy in the

womb."

 Condi had begun to worry about how historians

would treat her.

As it turned out, her worry was justified.

"Before we go any further, I just want to say this:  it's not

my fault that I have such a poor excuse for a beard."

Evolution had been very good to many people,

but not Christine O'Donnell.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #79

Christine O'Donnell and Bob Dornan

"I can't leap tall buildings in a single bound, but I can hear

whispers in the dark further away than Superman can."

"Of course I sound 'catty'!  I'm a bleeding leopard

for chrissake!"

"Of course it's only a flesh wound!  What other kind of wound

is there?"

"Last one in is Sharron Angle!"

"I'm not afraid of the dark, so I would probably enjoy

The March to Keep Fear Alive."

Garfield Gets Fixed

Famous Vowel Salesman Wants to Limit the Right

to Vote to Those Who Have Nothing to Gain or

Lose from Elections; "Public Officials Should

 Be Elected by Those of Us Who Only Vote for

 the Hell of It," He Says

Carl Paladino Seconds Before He

Folded Like a Cheap Camera

Rich Iott doesn't have an anti-Semitic bone in his body.

He's one of the new generation of Nazi Independents

who openly criticize Adolf Hitler's 'Final Solution' as a 

failed geopolitical strategy.

How Barack Obama Appears to Larry Kudlow
When He's All Coked Up

Pakistan Arrests 7 Militants, Foil Plot to Cancel
Wheel of Fortune

Hemp Chips

Although it looks like he's choking on a kosher

pastrami sandwich, he's not;  Rabbi Yehuda

Levin looks that way all the time.

Oxymorons for Our Time #68

Mature Business

Warm Scuzzies #117

Paul Snover

Rude Rhymes #31

 Pamprin for Men

Mark Halperin

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #78

Donald Douglas and Pam Geller

"Not very long for a King, is it, Steve?"

After six months, the food was plastic to the touch

and had an acrylic sheen to it.

But it was still happy.

"Props to Carl Paladino for renting space for Buddies II,

our bear/leather bar!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #236

Scott Bruun

"After November, Republicans will feel more responsible

 and may offer serious proposals and work with me in

a serious way.  Hmmm, these paint fumes are sure

making me feel funny."

Scientists Stumped by Bulldog Bee

Colony Collapse Disorder

Drowning Man About to Go Down for the Third Time

Did you know that members of the 'Our Gang' comedies

had a secret sign?  Pope Pius XII did.

"Step on it, dear!  We don't want to miss Joe
Miller's Libertarian rant about the welfare
state and fiscal responsibility."

"Compared to what I have to go through every morning,"

says Neel Kashkari, "shaving a beaver is a piece

of cake."

"Just curious, Mr. Blankfein, but when you and your kind need
a place to stuff $144 billion in new bonuses, how long do you
have to stand in line at Mattress Giant?"