Donald Trump vs. Ted Cruz is a pretty entertaining flick,

but it can't hold a candle to Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah.

Oregon Militiaman Kenneth Medenbach Building Dream

 House Out of Discarded Refrigerators, Water Heaters and 

Other Such Material

Remember the kid in school nobody liked? The jocks didn't 

like him, the nerds didn't like him, the girls didn't like 

him. Well, that's Ted Cruz.

Former Oregon Bird Sanctuary Renamed

 'National Dildo Refuge'

In case you've forgotten, one of the World's Worst Jobs

is being a dungbagger for the GOP mascot.

Flag Desecration #88

Fans of Trumpzilla say they have a thing for being

dominated by a billionaire in a rubber suit.

Mama told Fearguth to stop playing those Ultimate 

Spinach albums, but did he listen?

Marco Rubio Said to Be in Stable But Guarded Condition

 After Lindsey Graham Announces Intention to Endorse

Jeb Bush

Sean Penn Denies Persistent Rumors That He's Morphing

into Hard Drinkin' Lincoln

Little Jebbie Unwrapped by Short-Fingered

Vulgarian in GOP Debate

Remember that 'giant sucking sound' Ross Perot made

famous back in '92?  Well, now we know where it 

came from.

"And I have to tell you, despite that very insulting statement 

about New York Ted made, I did NOT bite his head off."

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #127

The House of Staring Daggers

Better Dead Than Ted

"Dial it back, Brat, I'm the one who's supposed to be

barking mad!"

Carly Fiorina Still Pissed Bill Clinton Never Made

a Pass at Her

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #166

In a manly effort to increase his wanker cred and to keep 

his losing streak intact, Lindsey Graham has decided to 

endorse Jeb Bush for President.

Commander Cruz Endorsed by Suck Dynasty

Ben Howe wants to cut funding to the National Institutes

of Health because the only remedy they've found for 

baldness is using rat ejaculate as hair tonic.

Why would this good ol' boy from Texas borrow $500,000

from New Yawk City?

Where Kale Chips Come From

Mike Huckabee wanted to go mano y mano with Ted

Cruz, but the Religious Right had turned away its

face.

Some said Trump had laryngitis.  Others said he had a

Nikki Haley stuck in his craw.

"Well, boys, I reckon this is it --- nuclear combat toe-to-toe 

with the Mooslims!"

World's Worst Yoobs #161

M. G. Oprea

"As they say in Cuba, baby, 'You're juicier

than a Fruta Bomba!'"

"Best of all, it was only $10.88 at Walmart."

Governor Slip-Up's Race Problem

David Brooks was never quite the same after he was 

brutally criticized for brutalizing the brutal Ted Cruz.

Cleverly disguised as an American flag

at half mast, Kim Davis almost smiled

during Obama's final State of the Union

address.

Donald Trump's 'Whistle Ass' Comedy Routine Makes

Jimmy Fallon Laugh

No, Governor Nikki Haley's jaws had not been wired shut 

before she delivered the GOP response to President

Obama's SOTU address.  Instead, she had tried to 

masticate a Sugar Daddy and it got stuck to her

teeth and the roof of her mouth.

James Millay, heroin trafficker, wants to thank

Paul LePage, Governor of Maine, for calling

him Smoothie and believing he impregnates

young, white girls on his days off.

Trump Campaign Goes Micrographic

Trump Has Started Playing 'Born In The USA' at Rallies 

to Taunt Americans

If you've ever doubted that power corrupts, take a look at

these faces and doubt no more.

Pick Up Line Used by Rupert Murdoch on Jerry Hall: 

"My face isn't nearly as rubbery as Joe Lieberman's."

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #30

A Catfishectomy