Android = Smart Phone

Randroid = Dumb Bastard

Ear Trumpet

Drinking Trumpet

World's Worst Jobs #115

Indian Garbage Dump Ragpicker

She couldn't win for losing.  Rather than be groped by a

lecherous TSA agent, she opted for a full body scan.  She

was then arrested for peddling smut without a license.

This far along into the Thanksgiving/Shop 'Til You Drop
 holiday, you're probably just about ready for a scoop
of delicious Pepto-Bismol ice cream.

Sources say that a merger between Fox News and The
Onion is imminent.  Inasmuch as they both have been

very successful in making shit up and have become

harder and harder to tell apart, it just makes economic

sense to join forces in the increasingly competitive,

yet very profitable, market in Imaginary Worlds,

Alternate Realities, and Parallel Universes.

Heidi Montag Feels Screwed by Dead Doctor,
Becomes Butt of Necrophilia Jokes

What to Get for the Survivalists on Your Christmas List

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #90

Ron Paul and Kyle Bristow

"There, there, Mooselini isn't going to hurt you.

She only likes to club halibut."

FBI Foils Would-Be Terrorist Bomber

Without Performing a Cavity Search or

Invading Another Country

Sadly, our vocabulary of opprobrium has lost its potency.

We simply lack words sufficient to express the enormity

 of the mendacity, the idiocy, and the unmitigated evil

of so many of today's politico-corporate actors.

"What's that?"

"Oh, it's just Rush Limbaugh's latest

Sacrococcygeal Fistula Spill."

"Looks pretty nasty."

"It's nasty, alright, but not nearly as nasty as

what comes out of the other end of his carcass."

 

For years, observers had wondered why Hamid

Karzai had never been seen in public without his
hat.  And then somebody finally put two and two

together to equal ---yes, it's true---
Zippy the Pinhead!

Is it too much to ask how long it will take before the networks

realize the money-making potential of Gurning with the Stars?

Ben Quayle Trying to Interpret the Dream in
Which He Is Elected to Congress Clothed

Only in His Underwear

Insanitized for Your Protection

Greedheads Galore #6

Mukesh Ambani

Michael Steele Shows How to Walk on

Thin Ice as Chairman of the Republican

National Committee

Remember all those great speeches given by President

George Bush?  Many of them were written by Michael

Gerson.  That's why he is known around Washington

as 'The Turdsmith'.

Flag Desecration #36

Turkey Sez:  "If you think Friday looks black, you should

have seen Thursday!"

Pre-Teens Blast NRA for Proposing to Limit Right to Buy

and Carry Guns to 18-Year-Olds and Older

United States Concerned Over WikiLeaks Plan

to Release More Truth

Have you started your Squinkles collection yet? 

No?  Well, what do you think Black Friday's for? 

Get a move on!

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #246

Richard Spencer

"Tom DeWho?" said the Rightbloggers.

"Bristol, baby, we may not have won, but we still gave a big

middle finger to all the people out there who hate you and 

your mom!"

To all you turkey shellackers out there,

'Happy Thanksgiving!'

When asked to explain her success on

Dancing with the Stars, Bristol Palin

replied, "I was praying all the time

and just relying on God and

knowing that He is on our side."

Professor Reynolds was royally pissed when he learned that

Sarah Palin had rejected his proposal to nuke our North

Korean allies.

Texas Bug Man Fumigated

No sooner had "Sooee, here piggy, piggy, piggy!" left Mitch

McConnell's lips before Senator Kyl came a runnin'.

"Aha, just as I thought!  The dummy used

 a colon instead of a semi-colon!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #245

Tom Hackbarth

World's Worst Yobs #195

Scott Hennen

Even as a small child, Glenn Beck suffered from

Chronic Epiphora.

Rude Rhymes #40

Woe of Widdershin

Jennifer Rubin

Every citizen in the Republic of Ireland today

 owes $535,000 worth of Lucky Charms to

foreign creditors.

Texas Family Poised to Set New Reindeer-Bagging Record

on the Night Before Christmas, 2010

Pope Justifies Use of Condoms by

Neanderthals, Hints That His Papal

Dispensation May Eventually Be
Extended to Cro-Magnons

Oprah Studio Guests Scream for Free Wasillabillies
 on Her Latest 'Favorite Things' Episode

Backslappers with Dirty Faces #1

Saul Anuzis

TSA Detains Man with Suspicious 'Package'

at Logan International Airport

All conspiracy theories assume a level of human competence
 and cooperation which our experience emphatically
refutes on a daily basis.

Barbara Bush Says It Was

Housekeeper Who Put

Pigs Feet in a Jar