"We are here to inform you, Mr. Derbyshire, that your

 bowtie will be terminated with extreme prejudice at 

0600 hours GMT."

'Race Science' is for White Supremacists with 

IQs above 110.

As he was heading down the rabbit hole, Representative 

Allen West said, "Although I've never had a dinner date 

with Mitt Romney, if he were to ask me to be his Vice 

President and God ordained it, I would do it. It sure 

would be a better fit for me than being committed 

to the Florida Asylum for the Insane." 

World's Worst Yobs #248

James B. Stewart

"The talk on the street, Mr. Do-Right, is that 

you are about to do wrong by allowing Snidely 

Whiplash to have his way with little Nell."

"I just don't know what got into the Derb.  

It just breaks my heart!"

It is said that the way you can tell a politician is lying is if

 his lips are moving.  Mitt Romney, however, can lie even 

when his lips are stationary.

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #5

John Derbyshire

Now that you mention it, the idea of addressing Timothy 

Dolan as 'Your Eminence' really is a side-splitter.

Newt Gingrich's Center for Think Tank Transformation 

Declares Chapter 7 Bankruptcy

Time Tourist #4

"Who cares? Who cares that she wasn’t invited into the club? 

She’s a Jew — Jews aren’t allowed! …. The war on Jews 

coming home to The Masters. Who freakin’ cares? [...] 

I don’t care that The Masters are a Gentile-dominated 

event. I don’t care that Jews aren’t members of The 

Masters. Frankly, I kind of like the idea that Jews 

aren’t members of The Masters. Good Lord, I 

don’t want to be hanging out at some Jew’s event!

 Can’t Gentiles go anywhere and just be Gentiles? 

There are plenty of places where Jews can be Jews."

"Only Masters get to wear the Green Jacket!   That's the

way you can tell them apart from slaves and women."

World's Worst Yoobs #117

Kaitlyn Buss

"Sorry, kids, but only real guns are allowed in the Republican 

National Convention Hall."

In a rare display of repentance, Mitt Romney today gave 

back the two degrees he had received from Harvard 

University, saying, "Forgive me, O Lord, for I have 

sinned the Sin of Elitism." 

Steve King of Pink Slime Sez:  "I’m here to tell you I’m a 

committed carnivore. I like meat!"

A Size to Fit Every Body and a Price to Fit Every Budget

War on Caterpillars Intensifies

Reince Priebus Even Weirder Than His Name

Black Angus

White Angus

PepsiCo and Coca-Cola Withdraw Support

 from Not-So-Smart ALEC

"I'm rather proud of the Enhanced Interrogation Techniques

I use on vegetarians who appear before my committee."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #378

Daniel Patterson

"What's that all about?"

"They say they're on the 'Strip Search Sammy'

Memorial Ride."

Woman Scoffs at the Mere Idea of a 

Band Calling Itself 'Nine Inch Nails'

Was it 'Four Times Three Equals Twelve' or 'Three Times 

Four Equals Twelve'?  When it came to launching rockets, 

he could never remember.

"Ann is wrong!  You should see me shirtcocked!"

The Snark Tank #2

It was when Alfred E. Neuman realized he was an 

'Unrepeatable Value' that he regained his self-

confidence and became a star.

Not until after his second heart attack was it revealed to

Gallagher that he didn't really hate watermelons:  he just 

hated people who hated fruits with thick rinds and

fleshy centers.

The Lava Lamp was invented in the 20th 

century.  The Nicki Minaj was invented 

in the 21st century.

Quit your worryin'!  The National Security Agency has 

everything under control.  Just think of God wearing a

Men's Wearhouse suit.  So, take it easy, OK?

Monkey Asked to Put on His Best 

Mitt Romney Face

"So sorry, ma'am, but your son is not only highly radioactive,

but he will someday strongly resemble Rick Santorum.  And,

I'm afraid, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it."

Good Pope

Bad Pope

OK to Wear in Gated Communities, 

But Only in the Daytime and

If You're White

"It's just Ketchup, I tell you, just Ketchup!" exclaimed the 

Heinz 57 Flagellant.

Man: "Frozen Santorum, sir."

Host:  "What?"

Man:  "We've got your Frozen Santorum."

Host:  "What Frozen Santorum?"

Man:  "Your Frozen Santorum.  Three hundredweight of heavy 

Frozen Santorum. Where do you want it?"

"And check my testosterone level, it may be low."

They would have been placed on the Endangered

Species list, but they didn't believe in it.

After he learned that 'douche' was French for 

'wash', he douched himself.

Do you know how many times the word, 'religion', occurs in 

the text of the U. S. Constitution (as amended)?  One. 

Do you know how many times the word, 'religion', has 

occurred during the Republican presidential primaries?  

Nobody knows for sure, but it's more than one.

Like a pre-owned car, he went about his

business pre-stripped, so as to save the

police a lot of time searching him.

As in Vietnam and Iraq, our elected leaders are not 

satisfied just to lose the Afghanistan War; they want to 

punish our soldiers for losing it by making more of 

them die absurdly.

Somebody needs to check on Breitbart.  

He's been in there an awfully long time.

Until the Igmo Brothers came along, it had never before

occurred to crooks to frame themselves.

Richard Cohen was not happy when he learned he was

only the 8th Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the Decade'.

World's Worst Yoobs #116

Heather Childers

Polar Bear Reacts to Ann Coulter-Michelle Malkin

Pissing Match