Saturday, April 07, 2012

"We are here to inform you, Mr. Derbyshire, that your
 bowtie will be terminated with extreme prejudice at 
0600 hours GMT."
'Race Science' is for White Supremacists with 
IQs above 110.
As he was heading down the rabbit hole, Representative 
Allen West said, "Although I've never had a dinner date 
with Mitt Romney, if he were to ask me to be his Vice 
President and God ordained it, I would do it. It sure 
would be a better fit for me than being committed 
to the Florida Asylum for the Insane." 
World's Worst Yobs #248
James B. Stewart
"The talk on the street, Mr. Do-Right, is that 
you are about to do wrong by allowing Snidely 
Whiplash to have his way with little Nell."
"I just don't know what got into the Derb.  
It just breaks my heart!"
It is said that the way you can tell a politician is lying is if
 his lips are moving.  Mitt Romney, however, can lie even 
when his lips are stationary.
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #5
John Derbyshire
Now that you mention it, the idea of addressing Timothy 
Dolan as 'Your Eminence' really is a side-splitter.
Newt Gingrich's Center for Think Tank Transformation 
Declares Chapter 7 Bankruptcy

Friday, April 06, 2012

Time Tourist #4
"Who cares? Who cares that she wasn’t invited into the club? 
She’s a Jew — Jews aren’t allowed! …. The war on Jews 
coming home to The Masters. Who freakin’ cares? [...] 
I don’t care that The Masters are a Gentile-dominated 
event. I don’t care that Jews aren’t members of The 
Masters. Frankly, I kind of like the idea that Jews 
aren’t members of The Masters. Good Lord, I 
don’t want to be hanging out at some Jew’s event!
 Can’t Gentiles go anywhere and just be Gentiles? 
There are plenty of places where Jews can be Jews."
"Only Masters get to wear the Green Jacket!   That's the
way you can tell them apart from slaves and women."
World's Worst Yoobs #117
Kaitlyn Buss
"Sorry, kids, but only real guns are allowed in the Republican 
National Convention Hall."
In a rare display of repentance, Mitt Romney today gave 
back the two degrees he had received from Harvard 
University, saying, "Forgive me, O Lord, for I have 
sinned the Sin of Elitism." 
Steve King of Pink Slime Sez:  "I’m here to tell you I’m a 
committed carnivore. I like meat!"
A Size to Fit Every Body and a Price to Fit Every Budget
War on Caterpillars Intensifies
Reince Priebus Even Weirder Than His Name

Thursday, April 05, 2012

Black Angus

White Angus
PepsiCo and Coca-Cola Withdraw Support
 from Not-So-Smart ALEC
"I'm rather proud of the Enhanced Interrogation Techniques
I use on vegetarians who appear before my committee."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #378
Daniel Patterson
"What's that all about?"
"They say they're on the 'Strip Search Sammy'
Memorial Ride."

Wednesday, April 04, 2012

Woman Scoffs at the Mere Idea of 
Band Calling Itself 'Nine Inch Nails'
Was it 'Four Times Three Equals Twelve' or 'Three Times 
Four Equals Twelve'?  When it came to launching rockets, 
he could never remember.
"Ann is wrong!  You should see me shirtcocked!"
The Snark Tank #2
It was when Alfred E. Neuman realized he was an 
'Unrepeatable Value' that he regained his self-
confidence and became a star.
Not until after his second heart attack was it revealed to
Gallagher that he didn't really hate watermelons:  he just 
hated people who hated fruits with thick rinds and
fleshy centers.
The Lava Lamp was invented in the 20th 
century.  The Nicki Minaj was invented 
in the 21st century.
Quit your worryin'!  The National Security Agency has 
everything under control.  Just think of God wearing a
Men's Wearhouse suit.  So, take it easy, OK?
Monkey Asked to Put on His Best 
Mitt Romney Face
"So sorry, ma'am, but your son is not only highly radioactive,
but he will someday strongly resemble Rick Santorum.  And,
I'm afraid, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it."
Good Pope

Bad Pope
OK to Wear in Gated Communities, 
But Only in the Daytime and
If You're White
"It's just Ketchup, I tell you, just Ketchup!" exclaimed the 
Heinz 57 Flagellant.

Man: "Frozen Santorum, sir."
Host:  "What?"
Man:  "We've got your Frozen Santorum."
Host:  "What Frozen Santorum?"
Man:  "Your Frozen Santorum.  Three hundredweight of heavy 
Frozen Santorum. Where do you want it?"
"And check my testosterone level, it may be low."
They would have been placed on the Endangered
Species list, but they didn't believe in it.
After he learned that 'douche' was French for 
'wash', he douched himself.
Do you know how many times the word, 'religion', occurs in 
the text of the U. S. Constitution (as amended)?  One. 
Do you know how many times the word, 'religion', has 
occurred during the Republican presidential primaries?  
Nobody knows for sure, but it's more than one.
Like a pre-owned car, he went about his
business pre-stripped, so as to save the
police a lot of time searching him.
As in Vietnam and Iraq, our elected leaders are not 
satisfied just to lose the Afghanistan War; they want to 
punish our soldiers for losing it by making more of 
them die absurdly.
Somebody needs to check on Breitbart.  
He's been in there an awfully long time.
Until the Igmo Brothers came along, it had never before
occurred to crooks to frame themselves.
Richard Cohen was not happy when he learned he was
only the 8th Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the Decade'.
World's Worst Yoobs #116
Heather Childers
Polar Bear Reacts to Ann Coulter-Michelle Malkin
Pissing Match