Fearguth will be offline from April 22 through

April 27. During that time, he will be a passenger

on a raft floating through the Grand Canyon from

Lees Ferry to Lake Mead. He will return to his

blogging-related program activities on April 28.

"Me drunk? Zounds, matey! Eight cups of this Danish

grog doesn't even wet me whistle!"

Israel's Acting President Dalia Itzik could see Ehud Olmert

was in the terminal stage of Yawning Abyss Syndrome.

"How many times have I told you to never push the

button labeled 'The Yellow Peril'?"

"Would you mind telling my master his trousers 
are unzipped?"

In China, architects are now designing shops which

reduce the surprise of earthquake damage.

World's Worst Jobs #33

Manilan Plastic Waste Picker

Quoth the Grand Canyon Raven, "Go take a hike!"

"That's right, Paul. The buzz around the Bank right now

is you're going to be replaced by Ken Shabby."

"The Attorney General has the full confidence of the President,

and he appreciates the work he is doing at the Department of

Justice to help keep our citizens safe from terrorists, our children

safe from predators, our government safe from corruption, and our

streets free from gang violence. Now, if you will, please bend over,

stick your head between your legs, and kiss your ass good-bye."

"Is it true, Mr. Gonzales, that the 'Hon.' in front

of your name is an abbreviation for 'Hon Boobkin'?"

'Policia' Spelled Sideways

Abdul Jabar Sabet puts his best face forward.

Che Guevara is alive and well and living in Venezuela.

On some days, it's harder to deny Schopenhauer's contention

that if the universe wasn't created to maximize human suffering,

it was certainly very poorly designed.

He would take the road less traveled by,

if he could figure out which one it is.

The Potty Parliament is now in session.

The View from the Business End of the Second Amendment

Rolling Stone Gathers No Mas

Art Critic Writes World's Shortest Review of the

World's Longest Painting: "Too long!"

Homo homini lupus.

"I don't recall if I've had a memory transplant. But if I

did, in my mind it probably didn't work."

Rocky the Flying Squirrel has had his pilot's license

revoked and has been permanently grounded after

pushing Bullwinkle over a cliff in the Grand Canyon.

Whilst taking a break from cross-country skiing

in the Grand Canyon, Fearguth sends you greetings

and best wishes.

Although the referee didn't intend to, he

had found Takefumi Sakata's weak spot.

Tim Wielandt Being Congratulated for Winning the

Mr. Switzerland Swimsuit Competition

Portugal's Prime Minister Jose Socrates is a master

of the two-handed yawn.

Multi-Yacking is an essential skill in today's

business world.

Putin Watchers

If you bump into an Argentine Arab sporting an Ayatollah

Khomeini tattoo, it's a fairly safe bet he won't laugh at

your Muhammad jokes.

World's Worst Jobs #32

Indian Sand Carrier

"What do you see?" the soldier asked.

"I see dead people," the boy answered.

"If you don't ask, I won't tell."

The little girl did the only sensible thing when the

Ottoman Military Band was playing: cover her ears.

Everybody knows Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao throws just

like a girl. But nobody has the nerve to say it to his face.

Edward Gibbon kept saying he would get back to writing

his history of the Roman Empire as soon as he finished

eating just one more banana.

Apparently there is no bag limit on flying fish in Japan.

In Russia these days, it's OK to club old women,

but only if they're already down.

Paul Wolfowitz After Learning He Had Overdrawn

His Account at the World Bank

Winnie the Pooh Latest Victim of Baghdad Violence

Beyoncé Knowles is so talented. Here we see

her Bride of Frankenstein impression.

Even when he showed his I.D., everybody still believed

he was Don Imus' first cousin once removed.

When nobody's looking, Benito chug-a-lugs his beer

straight out of the bottle.

When the gods were young, they were much more appealing.

Can you imagine a better way to spend a lazy Sunday
 afternoon?