Now that Tony Scalia is gone, whose shoulder will 

Clarence Thomas lean on when he takes a nap?

Chris Matthews just said that Justice Scalia was a 'charmer'.

Even Fat Tony thinks that's pretty funny.

Yes, Tony Scalia had great influence, mostly bad.

Don't make fun of Trump supporters because Jake Tapper, 

the anti-elitist media multi-millionaire, will make fun of you. 

See Amy Lindsay in The Secret Carnal Wishes of a 

Chambermaid in the House of Cruz!

See Ted Cruz Squirm!

See Ted Cruz Blush!

Heidi Cruz Slips the Bonds of Earth to Adore the Surly

 Face of God

For the first time, scientists have detected Albert Einstein 

surfing gravitational waves.

While the United Arab Emirates was naming its

 first Minister of State for Happiness, 100,000

 New Hampshire GOPers were voting for Trump 

the Violator.

When he saw The Politico headline, 'Warning: The dirty 

tricks are about to start', Tricky Dicky perked up.

The mills of Justice grind slowly, Cliven Bundy, 

yet they grind exceedingly small.

Cosmic Breakthrough: Physicists Detect Gravitational Waves 

from Violent Collision of Two Assholes

"I did not agree to any of this really.  Like David Fry, I am

 actually feeling suicidal right now."

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #32

A Laser Interferometer Gravitational-Wave Observatory

Sean Anderson Sez: "We are not surrendering, 

we’re turning ourselves in."

Hey, lookie, Cliven Bundy has been to Glamour Shots®!

As Mark Twain once wrote, "Some people are malicious 

enough to think that if the Devil were set at liberty and 

told to confine himself to Nevada, he would ... get

homesick and go back to Hell again."

The Boss Gets Fired

The GOP: Now with 59% Less Candidates!

Cruella Da Vil Pulls Plug on Presidential Campaign,

Snarls, "You ... BEASTS! I'm not beaten yet!"

Although more Republicans voted in New Hampshire than

Democrats, Bernie Sanders got over 50,000 more votes

than Donald Trump.  And, excluding Trump, Bernie

got almost as many votes as the rest of the GOP

candidates combined.

The Unexpurgated Bible #128

And Jesus cried with a loud voice, "Rubio, come forth! 

Hey, Marco, come forth!  Hello, is anybody alive in there?"

Whiteworld #30

Only Maine has more White Zombies per

100,000 population than New Hampshire.

After ranting that 'stupid, snot-nosed, crude supporters 

of Bernie Sanders should have their jaws broken', Alex 

Jones was fed, watered, and put back into his straitjacket.

The Clinton campaign was roomy and well-accoutered, 

but there was some doubt it would ever take off.

"Other than Donald Trump, does anyone else call you

'Pussy in Boots'?"

Trumpelina Sez:  "Oh, puh-leeze, Ted Cruz!

I was only retweeting!"

"For shame! You're not allowed to say 'mangina' in a

presidential race and I never expect to hear that again!"

Which will end first:  the GOP primaries or Donald Trump's 

supply of vulgarities?

"Who says nobody likes Ted Cruz?"

Donald Trump Waterboards Ted Cruz Until He

Finally Confesses He's a Pussy

Victoria Coates is Ted Cruz's national security adviser. 

Being an art historian specializing in the Italian 

Renaissance, she recommends using scythed chariots, 

as designed by Leonardo da Vinci, to take out ISIS

 in the Middle East.

"Those aren't crow's feet in the corners of your eyes, 

Michele.  Those are vulture's toes."

Mr. the Toad, the Thinking Amphibian's Alternative

Your Mission, Mr. Phelps

Michele Fiore's beauty is only skin deep, but her 

insanity goes all the way to the bone.

World's Worst Yoobs #162

Amanda Carpenter

David Fry Doing His Ernest P. Worrell Impression

Sean Anderson Sez:  "Remember Hellboy?  Well, I'm

Heckboy!"

“Islamists have a plan to destroy Western Christendom

 by sending an invading army to sexually attack and 

rape and grope church ladies."

Someone who heard one of her paid speeches said, 

"Hillary Clinton sounded more like a Goldman Sachs 

managing director than Lloyd Blankfein does."

"Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,

Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,

Domo arigato, Marco Roboto,

Domo arigato, Marco Roboto."

Keep Motorboating Alive!

Beyoncé Attacking Police Officers at Super Bowl 50

Fidel Castro Still Undecided Which Cuban He Will

Endorse for the GOP Nomination

The Unexpurgated Bible #127

"And Jesus said unto Peter, 'O thou of little faith, this Flint

 water contains so much lead even you can walk on it'."

Remember Flat Stanley?  Well, after Chris Christie

sat on him in the last GOP debate, Rubio is now

Flat Marco.

The Rubio, Chris Christie's Favorite Sammich

Marco Rubio should have known an attack was coming

when he saw that Chris Christie was wearing

 Rugged Shark shoes.

Madeleine Albright Tells Bernie's Kids to Get Off

Hillary Clinton's Lawn

The Unexpurgated Bible #126

"The Lord God formed Adam of the dust of the ground, 

then He formed Donald Trump and Martin Shkreli of 

second-hand asswipes."