Saturday, October 27, 2012

"Oh, we're face swappers:  I have hers and she has mine."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #72
Gary Bettman and the Stench of Cold Hard Cash
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #134
"Some gays are actually having children born to them.  
It’s not right on paper. It’s not right in fact. Every 
child has a right to a mother and father.  And don't 
forget:  in today's Republican Party, I'm a severe
moderate."

Friday, October 26, 2012

World's Worst Yoobs #127
Ginger Gibson
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #18
Josh Mandel
World's Worst Yobs #269
Charles C. W. Cooke
John Sununu would have preferred to back a presidential 
candidate who was an Arab-American of Greek, Lebanese, 
and Palestinian descent, but he had to settle for a white 
Mormon centimillionaire, instead.
For his years as a tax fraudster, sex maniac, billionaire, and
Premier of Italy, Silvio Berlusconi has been rewarded with 
a four-year prison sentence.  Mussolini should have been 
so lucky.
If elected, Mitt Romney promises to
name Meat Loaf as his White House
music director.
[From the way Romney is laughing,
'America the Beautiful' must be
funnier than 'Wooly Booly', as
performed by Sam the Sham
& the Pharaohs.]
As John Sununu goes to show, you don't necessarily have to 
be ugly to be an unreconstructed racist.  But it sure helps.
Etymologically, 'senator' means 'old man'.  
Josh Mandel, Republican candidate for sen-
ator from Ohio, is 35.  With life expectancy
 for a male in the United States at 76, Josh
Mandel is not qualified to be an 'old man'.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #433
Matt Bai

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Remember Yogi Bear?  
Granted, combining Halloween and Christmas would be
more efficient.  But would it be more fun?
As a young man, Rand Paul couldn't decide which he
enjoyed more:  dissecting cats or setting himself on fire.
People say Newt Gingrich has an evil eye.  That's a half-
truth:  he actually has two.  It's just that one is more evil
than the other.
Muscle Max Sez:  "For Paul Ryan to even bring up
the subject of poverty is an indication of a bad
 conscience, a sign of weakness.  To him I say, 
'Keep transforming your body with the P90X 
Workout and STFU about poor people!'"
When Bassnectar hits the stage, 
even Muslims rage.
"Is it just me, or aren't we all feeling like it's 1943, when
this battleship, the USS Wisconsin, was commissioned
four years before I was born and twenty years before
my father didn't march with Martin Luther King, Jr.?"
In the last days of the 2012 presidential race,
Mitt Romney made a final appeal to the 
nation's shrinking---but forever fervent---
Nixon fanbase.
Is Richard Mourdock, as Tina Fey
claims, a 'gray-faced man with a 
$2 haircut'?  Or is he a turnip
from which all the blood has
 been removed? 
World's Worst Yoobs #126
Ellen Carmichael
Tina Fey is reporting a new study which shows that 
every time you say either 'Todd Akin' or 'Richard 
Mourdock', you get a little bit dumber.
"Obama, Powell, Rice:  God, how I hate the way
those people stick together!"
Warm Scuzzies #339
Western Tradition Partnership

El Ratón Más Fuerte!
[If Mighty Mouse had been born South of the Border]
The Unexpurgated Bible #82
"For ye have Donald the Clown with you always."
'Republicans Rally Around Richard Mourdock'

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Best-Selling Republican
Refrigerator Magnet
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #155
Michelle Malkin, Paul Jacob, and Joe Wurzelbacher
"So what if I've been hit by the Florida Ethics Commission 
with 11 counts of violating state rules!  Here in Florida, the 
minimum number of violations required to unseat a sitting
Republican is 12."
Just Moments After Lindsay Lohan Endorsed
Mitt Romney for President
Unlike Barack Obama, Mitt Romney gets his tan
out of a can.
Obama Shucking and Jiving

Palin Jiving and Shucking
Romney Flashes the Mormon Bird (AKA 'The Sign of
the Miracle of the Gulls')
Gregory Peterson has committed suicide in the same Utah 
cabin where he raped women and hosted Republican Party
 fundraisers. Like they say, "Be it ever so humble, there's 
no place like home."
"It says right here that Satan is convincing many in
 our land that they can form a marriage between the 
same gender. My, how God must be sad about this. 
He has a controversy with the inhabitants of this 
land, and until we reject those evils, we shall 
suffer accordingly. We wonder why we’re 
suffering economically, why we’re suffering 
the moral decay, and now they want to take 
away that natural union between a man and 
woman that’s called family.”
Does Helen Purcell, the Maricopa County Recorder, look
like the sort of person who would "ever want to suppress
 anybody from voting, including Hispanics”?
"Hey, folks, just because I endorsed Richard Mourdock
doesn't mean I won't distance myself from him when it
is politically expedient for me to do so,  ha ha ha!"
"One morning, as Mitt Romney was waking up
 from anxious dreams, he discovered that in 
his bed he had been changed into a monstrous
 verminous bug."
Graveyard Reserved for the 30% of Americans Who Planned
to Retire at 80 and Missed It by a Long Shot
After the third presidential debate, the American people
had a better understanding of why Mitt Romney had 
introduced Paul Ryan in front of the USS Wisconsin
on August 11, 2012:  it was a subliminal message about
the Navy of the Future.

Radar Says That Douglas Kass Says 
That Donald Trump Says That Ed 
Klein Says That Michelle Obama 
Considered Filing Divorce Papers 
Twelve Years Ago
 The Log Cabin Republicans have endorsed Mitt Romney, 
saying, "On issues of particular concern to the LGBT 
community, we believe Governor Romney will move 
our balls forward compared to past Republican 
presidents."
"If you say 'Romnesia' one more time, whatever I
 said I was going to do to you, I'm going to do it!"
Richard Mourdock Sez:  "And I think even when life 
begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is 
something that God intended to happen.  What I 
said was, in answering the question from my 
position of faith, I said I believe that God creates 
life. I believe that as wholly and as fully as I can 
believe it. That God creates life.  Are you trying 
to suggest that somehow I think that God pre-
ordained rape? No, I don't think that. That's sick. 
Twisted. That's not even close to what I said. 
What I said is that God creates life."
[Got that?]

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

"Like Sarah Palin, I am writing a book on
 fitness and self-discipline focusing on where
 I get my energy and balance as I still eat 
my beloved homemade comfort foods!"
Oxymorons for Our Time #139
Jim Talent