Gunhuggers are saying the open carry demonstration inside

 the Washington State Capitol was a false-flag operation

carried out by gunbanners from a local trailer park

 in order to give responsible gun owners a bad name 

and give lawmakers an excuse to infringe on Second

Amendment rights.

It's obviously time for Fred Thompson to start looking

presidential again and drive all the GOP pretenders

 from the field.

"Yeah, we started hearing 'pop, pop'. 

I figured somebody was shooting

 somebody. It's going on all the 

time now.  Sigh!"

Metaphor Mixology #7

Erick Erickson Sez:  "Renee Ellmers is a lying waste 

of oxygen."

"The only thing we have to Fleer is Fleer itself."

American Schutzstaffel #49

"Behold, brethren, the Fist of Charity!"

"Sorry, Mr. Vader, but the new Oklahoma law requires

you to check your hoodie at the Red River."

Somewhat counterintuitively, Bone-In Pork Rectums cost more.

M. C. Escher must have been on Jam Cruise 13.

[Click on image for full effect.]

"Simba is a pussy!"

Having ransacked Wisconsin in search of the whitest man

in the state, the Republican Party found Glenn Grothman

and the voters in his district elected him to the U. S. 

House of Representatives.  Careful:  if you stare at 

him too long, you will go snowblind.

Whiteworld #23

If they were black, Dalton Hayes and Cheyenne Phillips

would be called 'thugs'.  But they're white, so they're

called 'teen sweethearts' and 'Bonnie and Clyde teens'.

"When I'm in it, it's pronounced 'la-VOR-a-tor-y'!"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #103

Joe Paterno Has Risen From the Grave

"We Republicans here in Kansas never raise taxes.  We 

just use 'Enhanced Revenue Techniques' and everyone 

voluntarily sends in donations."

Warm Scuzzies #528

North Miami Beach Police Department

"Go ahead, HAL, I dare you to read my lips!"

"Train up a child in the way he 

should go: and when he is old, 

he will not depart from it."

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #56

Jan Morgan

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

The principal Academy Award nominees this year are

 so white that, at the Oscars Governors Ball,

only albino lobsters will be on

the dinner menu.

And having said that, Pope Francis warned,

"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

"Just washed my hands and can't do a dang thing with them!"

Oh Where, Oh Where Has My Tambourine Gone?

 "While gathering swallows twittered in the sky, 

his beard grew surreptitiously."

Yes, you heard that right:  the American Flatulence

Institute has come out in opposition to the Obama 

Administration's crackdown on methane emissions.

Map of Republican Genome Sparks Criticism

Senator Ernst Claims Right to Open Carry a

Bertschy Emasculator While Delivering the

GOP's Response to President Obama's 

State of the Union Address

According to a new poll, 69% of New York City voters say

that PBA President Patrick Lynch should have his hair

mussed and his jaws wired shut.

Whether conspiracies are real or imagined, conspiracy 

theories are spawned by the desire to give a rational 

explanation for why things happen the way they do.  

For many, a conspiracy theory is much more 

reassuring than the notion that "Life is just one 

damn thing after another."

French anti-Semites are so gauche they can't properly

perform simple tasks, such as arm farting.

"From this day forth, put your faith in me!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #608

Howard Garrett

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #157

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #65

Dave Agema

Warm Scuzzies #527

Prestonwood Baptist Church (Plano, TX)

It's New Hope Ministries, unless you're a 

dead lesbian, then it's No Hope Ministries.

Give Mike Huckabee some credit:  he makes other 

Southern Baptists look good and that's difficult to do.

"Remember, Sarah, don't be distracted by Hello Kitty's 

pretty red bow.  Aim for the vitals."

Six Islamophobic Bedwetters in Search of

Dry Sheets

American Schutzstaffel #48

When he saw the headline, 'Gun Deaths Are Poised to 

Surpass Automobile Deaths in the United States', he 

wondered if carrying a gun while driving was the 

smart thing to do.

Nancy ScareQuotes

As this demonstrator learned the hard way, never wear

flashy Spanx while on the protest line.

"Some of my Republican colleagues in the Senate believe

in climate change and some don't.  Needless to say, I 

always agree with my colleagues."

"Just for Men Tri-Color Beard brings out the best 

in your facial hair."

We need a third Romney presidential campaign as much

as we need a $138,000 Text-Messaging Chandelier.

"I just wanted you to know, Governor, that shaking 

hands spreads more germs than kissing."