Trump Denies Report That He Calls Sessions ‘Mr. Magoo’

Donald Trump has been afraid of Roger Stone for years.

Trump Denies Calling Mr. Magoo 'Jeff Sessions'

No one could verbally abuse women

like Little Big Man.

Ted Cruz is Mr. the Toady.

Missouri Governor Eric Greitens Buffs His Résumé with 

Another Felony Charge, Says He's Increasing His Chances 

of Landing a Job in the Trump Administration

No one could imagine someone who could defraud the

entire universe until Trump came along.

Ted Cruz Sez:  "Trump is a 'sniveling coward', 

a 'pathological liar', 'utterly amoral', 'a narcissist 

at a level I don't think this country's ever seen', 'a 

'big loud New York bully', a 'serial philanderer',

 'a train wreck', and 'consistently disgraceful'. 

Why else would I kiss his ass?"

World's Worst Yoobs #198

Mercedes Schlapp

"Robert Jeffress is a self-serving, power-hungry pastor 

who will side with the Devil himself for the sake of political

expediency."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #728

Bob Genetski

"Vladimir Putin told me Russia has some of the

 most beautiful hookers in the world. Believe me, 

I was shocked a world leader would say something

 like that!"

To all the wingnuts who believed the release of the 

Comey Memos would knock the Trump opposition 

on its ass: nice try, but no cigar.

Mussolini Joins Cheetolini 'For the Good of the Country'

Was anyone surprised to learn Meghan McCain is a big

fan of J. Edgar Hoover?

Oxymorons for Our Time #193

Trump Adviser

It takes a long time to count to a billion. Take Trump, 

for example. Counting at the rate of $1 a second, it would

 take him about 7.3 years to count to $1 billion. That's

just one of the many crosses he has to bear.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #114

Jim Geraghty

Chris Christie’s $85,000 Official Portrait Costs

 More Than His Three Predecessors Combined; 

"That's Because I'm Larger Than My Three

 Predecessors Combined," Christie Rebutted

Charlie Kirk wants everyone to know what TPUSA stands for.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #727

Charlie Kirk

It stands to reason that Don Blankenship, the Dark Lord

of Coal Country and an ex-con, would be running for the 

Senate as a GOPer in West Virginia, the state which 

ranks dead  last in America for environmental quality.

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #174

Flipper

Larry Kudlow, Post-Nikkification

"Mama, O'Rourke is Beto-ing me again!"

It's easy to not confuse Andre Bauer with Nikki Haley.

Tucker Carlson Refashions Daily Caller,

Decides to Go Head-to-Head with National

Enquirer for the Supermarket Tabloid

Consumer

Oxymorons for Our Time #192

Mulvaney Investigation

Lawyers for Trump's Attorney's Lawyers Say They All 

Have Fools for Clients

Remember when conservatives were opposed to allowing

women to serve in combat or hazardous duty roles in

the military?  Tammie Jo Shults has demonstrated just

how wrong they were.  Plus she saved the lives of 148

passengers and crew aboard Southwest 1380 to boot.

Warm Scuzzies #798

Ed Ahlersmeyer

Former Secretary of State Believes Trump Hasn't 

Reached 'Peak Moron' Yet

Profile in Miasma

"What does Trump believe in?" is the wrong question. 

"What does Trump believe in on April 18, 2018, at 11:46

 AM EDT, when the temperature is 50° F and the humidity

 is 41%?" is the right question.

"Mark Zuckerberg is such a cardboard cutout."

"Don't you mean 'cut up'?"

"No, cutout."

"We were good fellas. Wiseguys."

"Honey, there's an astronaut at the front door who's asking 

if you're interested in candid photography?"

"If it's Eric Greitens, the Governor of Missouri,

tell him we don't have a camera."

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #173

Ma & Pa Kettle Go to the Morgue

Studies show the $1 difference between 

$19,999 and $20,000 has a considerable 

effect on sales with items whose prices end

 with 99 far outselling those ending with 00.

Trump With Lawyers vs. Trump Without Lawyers

Adventures in Aestheticism #15

Megan McArdle had hoped to become a writer for the 

National Enquirer, but the bias against conservatives 

forced her to become an op-ed columnist for 

The Washington Post instead.

The 'instant rush of utter unfairness' still lingered 

six years after Richard Cohen learned he was only 

the 8th Runner-Up for 'Wanker of the Decade'.

Oh Bury Me Not Under Old Cliches #5

China Introduces the TrumpBus; New Widetrack,

High-Clearance Design Ideal for Autocrats Who

Need More Room for Throwing Flunkies Under

the Bus

Stinky Zinke believes his Bachelor of Science degree in 

geology makes him a geologist. If that's true, then a Bachelor 

of Arts degree in the humanities must make you a humanist.

Rebellious Youth Says He Doesn't Believe in 

Pablo Picasso

Don Blankenship, the Dark Lord of Coal Country, Vows

to Boldly Lead West Virginia into the Nineteenth Century

Pakistani Team Favored in Upcoming

Synchronized Silly Walks Competition

Oxymorons for Our Time #191

Hannity's Ethics

To every thing there is a season.

A time to laugh, and a time to mourn.