Wednesday, December 31, 2014

"I've finally reconciled myself to the fact that I'll be
a Corgi for the rest of my life.  What about you?"
In his earlier New York Times bestseller, Liberal Fascism
Jonah Goldberg alerted us to the political dangers of 
liberalism.  But in his new book, Liberal Fashionistas,
he warns us of the artistic dangers, what's really
 waiting for us at the end of the runway of 
Aren't we all over Elisabeth Hasselbeck defending
Christianity in a red dress?  Seriously, when is she going
to realize we won't be over attacks against  Christianity
until she catches up with the latest fashion and starts 
wearing a blue dress?
Does anybody know how many followers you must have on 
Twitter before you can declare yourself the Messiah?
He had always gotten by with the help of his friends, 
and his friends had always gotten by with his.  At 
age 64, Rick Perry had the face he deserved.
"I'm sure you're just as relieved as I am that you didn't 
receive one of TPM's 'Worst Tweets of the Year Awards'."
This just in from the Twitter Machine:
"Viewed strictly as a threat to U. S. public
health, more people died from laughing at 
Chuck Johnson in 2014 than died from
The person most likely to be killed by a gun is the gun owner, 
through suicide.  So: is suicide when a good guy with a gun 
shoots a bad guy with a gun, or vice versa?
Over the past five years, the NYPD has settled 10,000
civil rights cases for $428 million.  Just imagine how many 
army surplus MRAPs it could have purchased with that
much money!
The Politico Illustrated #38
"The House majority whip has already gone into 
full damage-control mode."
The first Bobcat in 100 years on Jekyll Island is believed
to have once belonged to a Mr. Edward Hyde.
David Duke with Baggage

"I'm like David Duke without the baggage."
Jesus toast tastes better made from Wonder Bread.

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Chattanooga Woman Points Loaded Gun at Cop, 
But Is Not Shot 6 Times, Because She Was 
the Wrong Color and Hadn't Stolen Any Cigars
Please be advised that the Louisiana congressman who
accidentally addressed a white supremacist conference
in 2002 is not the same guy who accidentally killed a
rare grey wolf in Utah in 2014.
Who does Sam Brownback remind you of?  Hopefully,
no one you know.
Clayton Morris, Fox News' donut sprinkler, fears he may
be laid off when the FDA's ban on trans fats goes into effect.
So, according to Alexander Waugh's new book, William 
Shakespeare was a sock puppet.   And the hand inside once 
belonged to Shari Lewis. Except that it wasn't really her 
hand but one of the hands of Orlac.  Except it had 
originally belonged to Vasseur the murderer . . .
Batrachia Grimmii Sez:  "The decision to quit was difficult, 
but it did not break my spirit."
Westboro Baptist Church Identifies Cause of AirAsia 
Plane Crash and Explains Why God Laughs
Michael Grimm.  Broken in half.  Like a boy.
'Candid Camera' used to be just a TV show.  
We all now live in it.
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #102
Son of Chucky:  Out of the Toy Box Again!
Rehabilitation and redemption of selfie sticks is possible.
1. Michael Grimm prays to God, asking Him whether
he should resign from Congress.
2.  Michael Grimm announces he will resign from
Congress, effective January 5.
3.  See, all you skeptics: God does answer prayers!
World's Worst Yobs #321
Jay Caruso
"How about a cowlick, kid!"
2014 Monster of the Year
Ebolaghazi, Destroyer of Worlds!

Monday, December 29, 2014

"As I said before, I thought I was speaking to fans of 
Duck Dynasty, not Duke Dynasty!"
It had been another bad-hair year for Kim Jong-un.
Steve Scalise Sez:  "Do I look like someone who would
address a white supremacist conference?"
[Well, now that you ask, it would be harder to 
imagine you addressing the NAACP.]
Mel Brooks (Age 88) and Carl Reiner (Age 92)
Engaged in a Non-Vulcan Mind Meld
The fake Alamo has fallen into disrepair.

So has the fake Davy Crockett who died there.
Remember Bucky Beaver?

Ted Nugent does.
Ramses II Bans Remake of the Exodus
Warm Scuzzies #525
Timothy Zoll
"Pull up a chair and make yourself
comfortable," the Vice President
A new study shows how the Ku Klux Klan 
in the South abandoned the Democratic Party 
and flocked to the Republican Party in 
droves.  In other words, the spots didn't 
change down South, just the leopard.
Shakir Waheib Named Chief Financial Officer and
Comptroller of the Islamic State Group, Inc.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Oxymorons for Our Time #173
Conservative Media Ethics
United States Formally Ends Afghanistan War, Now Seeks 
New War to Lose in the Middle East
"Well, yeah, there are days when I get tired of just 
hanging here.  But that's when I take a look on the 
bright side and realize the police and the military 
are keeping me safe."
If Rush Limbaugh ever decides to run for political office, 
he could use one of William Howard Taft's 1908 presi-
dential campaign slogans:  "He's white, he's male, he's 
bigger than a whale!"
Warm Scuzzies #524
North Eastern Massachusetts
Law Enforcement Council
After a hard day on the protest lines, it was time to 
kick back and relax.
Libyans Celebrating Arab Winter

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Meet New York State Trooper
Rosenblatt.  Just another
arrogant Bullethead.