Gingrich Attacks Virginia for Not Believing in Him,

Likens Her Disbelief to the Japanese Attack on

Pearl Harbor

Christmas Tree for Those on the Dark Side of the Force

Judge Rules Charlie White Ineligible to Serve as Indiana's

Secretary of State Because of 'Extreme Irony'

"Remember, baby, these are only $100 bills
 I'm stuffing down your pants. I only bet

$10,000 on a sure thing, like when
 I'm debating Republicans."

"OK, I admit I don't have a raison d'être.

So where do I go from here?"

Want to be a billionaire?  Well, first of all,

you've got to eat like Michael Bloomberg.

Where were you during the Summer of Love, 1967?  Some,

 no doubt, were at the corner of Haight and Ashbury in

San Francisco.  Others, like Fearguth, weren't there.

He did manage, however, to stand there at the same

corner in 1987, twenty years later.  And he took this

picture as a memento.  

Where Humans Got the Idea of the 'Hot Dog'

Where Humans Got the Idea of 'Happiness'

"What a dumb fucking game!

Humans must have invented it!"

By now, you've probably heard of 'Robocallers'.

You may have even been called by one.

If you're not squeamish, here's what one

looks like.  If you are, look away.

After what was called 'The Über-Flip of All His Flops',

 Mitt Romney landed in Mormon Heaven  (which can be

better understood if you click on the chart [above]).

When Roger Ailes and Richard Nixon met in the Oval Office

 of the White House way back when, they debated the topic,

'Be It Resolved: That When It Comes Time to Saving the

Constitution, Some People Gotta Die!'  The affirmative

side won.

We featherless bipeds need to be more thankful for

our shoes.  Where would we be without them?  And

where would our shoes be without shoemakers?

Here we have a picture of a prehistoric fossilized raptor

egg nest. This generation of raptors obviously didn't

 have a future so bright it had to wear shades.

"This was the first version of my Dad, back when everything

 was still analog and before he became famous as 

'Congressman Ron Paul'. 

"You think I'm big now? Shoot, you should see me when

I'm elected President of the United States. Why, I'll be

bigger than William Howard Taft!"

When we say something is 'Priceless', we're saying it has a

value which cannot be measured in monetary terms. In

 other words, we're saying that money is not the ultimate

standard of value, i. e., that there's a higher standard

than money for measuring the value of things.  But,

what might that standard be?

In all the world, there's hardly anything sadder than a

rickshaw graveyard.

Back in the Day When People Believed Santa Claus

Was an Illegal Alien

"My beard?  Oh, it's just an optical illusion.  It's

actually a pair of Light Wash Rewind Jeggings

I bought at JC Penney."

How Frothy Earned His Wings

Scientists are saying that 'Continental Grift' has significantly

slowed since Sarah Palin more or less disappeared from

the political lithosphere.

"If you don't ask, I won't tell!"

When racist comments in his old newsletters came back to

haunt him, Ron Paul realized that just because you have

freedom of the press doesn't mean you necessarily

have to exercise it foolishly.

Once again, Callista had forgotten to pack the Gas-X®.

Rude Rhymes #54

Rotten Smell

Brent Bozell

Zombie Cardinal

Cardinal Zombie

Sandy Weill, former CEO and Chairman of Citigroup,

needs liquidity and so he's selling his super yacht,

April Fool, for a paltry $69.5 million.  This is not a joke.

Joe Klein Sez:  "Rick Perry is a mud-track biker when it comes

 to fluency, slipping and sliding past proper usage into the

realm of the nitwit ridiculous."

George Packer:  Not Just a Liberal Hawk,

But a Liberal Schmohawk

Newt Gingrich says, "I think the key to Ron Paul's volunteer

base is people who want to legalize drugs."  Apparently, the

former Speaker thinks that's a bug, not a feature.

When you, like the Duchess of Cambridge, go stepping

out for the evening, do you always make sure your

jewels are well-chosen?

Lordi

Lardy

Petty Officer 2nd Class Marissa Gaeta and Petty Officer

3rd Class Citlalic Snell Share a 'First Kiss' Honoring the

 Old Navy Tradition of Flogging Rick Perry's Dog

Warm Scuzzies #249

Vern Buchanan

"What's your cat's name?"

"Ken Langone."

"Why did you name it that?"

"It's named after the co-founder of Home Depot, who

said, 'I am a fat cat, I'm not ashamed. If you mean

by fat cat that I’ve succeeded, yeah, then I’m a fat cat.

I stand guilty of being a fat cat'."

Of the protester who stands with the  99%,

Bernard Marcus, co-founder of Home Depot,

says, "Who gives a crap about some imbecile? 

Are you kidding me?"

Japanese Nuclear Scientists Devise New Time Unit, the

STFU (Shut the Fukushima Up), Which Lasts for 40 Years

Ronald McDonald Discovers Wendy's Stratagem for

Dethroning Burger King

Greedheads Galore #20

John Allison

In case you've forgotten, Rick Santorum has stated that

sex acts between mutually consenting adult mammals, such

 as between Steven Seagal and a panda, do not have a

constitutional right to privacy.  Rick, you see, likes to look.

"From the moment you said, 'Say ah', I began to

suspect you weren't a proper otolaryngologist."

September 11, 2001:  the Day Osama Bin Laden

Attacked the World Trade Center

December 14, 2011:  the Day Barack Obama Announced He

Would Sign the National Defense Authorization Act of 2012

Disgraced 'Sheriff Joe' Announces Retirement,

Moves, Quite Appropriately, to Escondido

[Spanish for 'Hidden']

Will Ann Coulter ever confess that she stole 'Easy Skanking',

 her theme song, from Bob Marley?