Obamacare Hipster in Flannel Onesie Says

Brother Now Selling $120 Flannel Shirts

for Glenn Beck

 Putin Riot, Masculinist Punk Rocker, Rips Page 

Out of Limbaugh's Jokes for Johns

Tower of Babel

Tower of Pork

If you listen carefully to his press conference, Obama didn't 

say 'James Flacco'.  He said 'James Flanco', which is the 

Kim Jong-un pronunciation.

The only thing that stops a Worst Man with a gun is a 

Best Man with a gun.

Gavin Seim Sez:  “You do not need a permit to 

exercise your rights. If you, my friends, want a 

tank in your front yard, then buy one, and I

 for one may want to live next door, because

 your house will be the safest on the block."

[The MSRP for a tank is about $65 million. Those

 'Second Amendment Remedies' are getting 

more expensive as time goes on.]

Dutch Pundit Reacts to Rubio/Paul Feud

Chiropractic Adjustment Turns 50-Year-Old Glenn

Beck into 90-Year-Old Department Store Santa

  "Well, here's another fine mess you've gotten us into!"

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #156

Queen Elizabeth liked to grin diabolically

 on the Sixteenth Day of Zappadan.

Unfortunately!

Michael Lynton Sez:  “We have not caved. We have not

 given in. We have persevered and we have not backed

down.  What we did simply cannot be put into words.

So, I'll act it out for you."

Warm Scuzzies #521

Michael Lynton

One of the Memorable Moments at the Three-Hour 

Performance by Putin Riot, the Russian Masculinist 

Punk Rocker

Rare Northern White RINO Invites POTUS to Deliver SOTU

Decision to Permit the Cloning of Santa Claus Blamed 

for Beaches Being Overrun by Jolly Old Elves

John Hinderaker Sez: "I have never seen Stephen 

Colbert’s show on Comedy Central. I have been too busy 

checking the kerning of Obama's birth certificate."

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #64

Nigel Farage

Bill O'Reilly-Inspired T-Shirt Now 

Very Popular with African-Americans

Things That Make Your Skin Crawl #10

Being in the Same Room with Congressman Blake

Farenthold While He's Having Sexual Fantasies

"I push 'enter' and Roger Ebert avatar gives thumbs down 

to 'The Interview' and makes Sony execs pee in pants."

Even Copepods celebrate on the 

Fifteenth Day of Zappadan.

Army Deploys $1 Billion Gospel

Blimp Over District of Columbia

Recently-Declassified Photograph #38

What Bush 41 Was Served the Moment

Before He Vomited on the Japanese 

Prime Minister

"OK, here's the sitch:  if you're first in line, you may become 

President of the United States.  Otherwise, you could possibly

 end up as Fearguth."

Alamo Drafthouse Cancels Screening of Team

America: World Police, May Change Name to

Surrender the Alamo! Drafthouse

ISIS Plumber Responds to Customer Whose Check Bounced

Breitbartian Logic 101:  The United States should go to 

war with North Korea because a corporation based in 

Japan caved to a terrorist threat.

Dallas Strip Club Sued for Being a 'Common Nuisance' 

and a 'Threat to Roman Architecture'

Gabriel Heatter

Gabriel's Heater

Joseph Epstein's ears double as NSA listening posts on the

Fourteenth Day of Zappadan.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #155

Octobeard Terrified by Octomom

The 7 Stages of Grief: 1) Bad Egg, 2) Ugly Duckling, 

3) Daffy Duck, 4) Lame Duck, 5) Dead Duck, 

6) Duck Soup, and 7) Phil Robertson

Lookee here!  We got $2.50 a gallon gas without a

President Gingrich.  Win-win!

Father:  "It's all yours, son!  It's just like mine!"

Son:  "Thanks, Pop!  It's the Red Ryder AR-15

 I've always wanted for Christmas!"

It rained on orthodoxy's parade on the 

Thirteenth Day of Zappadan.

North Korean Soldier Disciplined After Being Caught

Peeking at The Interview

Bill O'Reilly Sez:  "It isn't a mythical war 

on Christmas. It's real and we just won!"

In order to fully normalize relations with Cuba, will Barack

Obama be required to hold hands with Fidel Castro?

Human Rights Abuser Normalizes Relations with

Human Rights Abuser

If you doubt the efficacy of the Cuban Embargo, just look 

at how it has turned Fidel Castro into an octogenarian!

"Standing on my left is my BFF, the 'hapless' David Rivera, 

who this fall made 'the worst congressional comeback 

attempt of all time'.  Let's give him a big round of 

applause before he becomes a complete and total

 political nonentity."

Senator Harumphio Takes a Timeout for a Cooldown

Where Cashew Milk Comes From

American Schutzstaffel #46