Saturday, May 24, 2014

World's First Shelfie
Breaktime at the Paultard Frat House
When he dies, won't George Will be surprised when he is 
reincarnated as a West Virginia coal miner during the 1950s?
Big Bigots, Little Bigots #40
Robert Keller

Friday, May 23, 2014

Warm Scuzzies #470
Mark Mayfield
"I'm just trying to figure out right now where my lord Jesus 
Christ wants me to go and what he wants me to do."
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #3
A Koch Can
"I used to be intelligent and have the degrees to
prove it.  But then I became a Republican."
Rude Rhymes #69

Ugly Fest

Allen West
"I'm a bigot.  I think we're all bigots.  The only difference 
is I'm a billionaire bigot and you're not."
"Tea for two and two for tea,
Just me for you and you for me."

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Mark Cuban Sez:  "If I see a black kid in a hoodie and it's 
late at night, I'm telling my limo driver to push the pedal to 
the metal!"
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #172
Mark Steyn and James Lileks
"We understand, Governor Christie, that you had
Jiminy Cricket rubbed out about the time you first
didn't know about the Fort Lee lane closures.  Do you
think this will have any effect on your decision to run 
for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016?"
Boehner Blasts the 'Audacity' of Obama's Executive Order 
Creating Mount Douchemore Natonal Monument
Warm Scuzzies #469
Gregg Jarrett

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

"Stop calling me toothsome!"
Scientists eventually discovered what came before the 
Big Bang:  it was the Pantomime Zebra.
Old Favorite Dessert Updated  
The Pineapple Upside-Down Hooter
Popeye always blamed Max Fleischer for not warning him
 about the side effects of eating too much canned spinach.
When the Game of Musical Chairs and the Game of Thrones
American Schutzstaffel #34
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #171
Brent Bozell and Sean Hannity
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #573
Pat Sajak
As Freud might have said, "Sometimes a cucumber is just 
a cucumber and sometimes it's not."
Warm Scuzzies #468
Sam Olens
"I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, 
you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, I'm just a 
harmless little Happy Meal, you say?  But,
you ignored my huge, sharp teeth, didn't
you?  I'm a cannibal, I tell you, a cannibal!  
Kids don't eat me; I eat kids!"
Down Alabama way, they call people like
 Michael Hill, President of the League of 
the South, "Crazy 'Seshers," and keep
them as pets.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

New Praying Mantis Species a 'Vicious Hunter', 
Does Not Say Grace Before Meals
Daughter Mounts 'Curmudgeonly-Old-Individual-Who-Uses-
Colorful-Language' Defense of Father's Use of Racial Slurs
Puffington Host #4
Bum Wrap Gets Bum Rap
Denny Bonavita Sez:  "Why am I so old and angry?  
Poor people, that's why!"
His Friends Call Him 'Pinch'
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #572
Charles Van Zant
"Take me
I'm yours
Take me."
World's Greatest Dracula Authority Now Undead

Monday, May 19, 2014

Rubio Won't Say Whether He Inhaled, Exhaled, or
Held His Breath
"Edwin Meese made me wear this hair bow!"
Up close, you can tell why his surname is 'Slowinski'
 and not 'Fastwinski'.
You don't have to be a racist to be a Republican these days,
but it sure helps.
Flag Desecration #77
Former Princeton University President Blasts
 'Immature' Students for Not Being as Old 
as He Is
If Elisabeth Hasselbeck insists on being a blonde joke,
is it too much to ask that she be funny?
US Pot Calls Chinese Kettle Black
"Hell, no!  I still don't believe in 'warmism'!"

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Kermit the Frog Gets in Touch with His
Inner Buddha
Arizona Republican Gary Kiehne Vigorously Denies His
'Liberal Hunting License' Has Expired
"Harley Brown, Harley Brown
He's a clown, that Harley Brown."