World's First Shelfie

Breaktime at the Paultard Frat House

When he dies, won't George Will be surprised when he is 

reincarnated as a West Virginia coal miner during the 1950s?

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #40

Robert Keller

Warm Scuzzies #470

Mark Mayfield

"I'm just trying to figure out right now where my lord Jesus 

Christ wants me to go and what he wants me to do."

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #3

A Koch Can

"I used to be intelligent and have the degrees to

prove it.  But then I became a Republican."

Rude Rhymes #69

Ugly Fest

Allen West

"I'm a bigot.  I think we're all bigots.  The only difference 

is I'm a billionaire bigot and you're not."

"Tea for two and two for tea,

Just me for you and you for me."

Mark Cuban Sez:  "If I see a black kid in a hoodie and it's 

late at night, I'm telling my limo driver to push the pedal to 

the metal!"

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #172

Mark Steyn and James Lileks

"We understand, Governor Christie, that you had

Jiminy Cricket rubbed out about the time you first

didn't know about the Fort Lee lane closures.  Do you

think this will have any effect on your decision to run 

for the Republican presidential nomination in 2016?"

Boehner Blasts the 'Audacity' of Obama's Executive Order 

Creating Mount Douchemore Natonal Monument

Warm Scuzzies #469

Gregg Jarrett

"Stop calling me toothsome!"

Scientists eventually discovered what came before the 

Big Bang:  it was the Pantomime Zebra.

Old Favorite Dessert Updated  

The Pineapple Upside-Down Hooter

Popeye always blamed Max Fleischer for not warning him

 about the side effects of eating too much canned spinach.

When the Game of Musical Chairs and the Game of Thrones

Collide

American Schutzstaffel #34

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #171

Brent Bozell and Sean Hannity

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #573

Pat Sajak

As Freud might have said, "Sometimes a cucumber is just 

a cucumber and sometimes it's not."

Warm Scuzzies #468

Sam Olens

"I warned you, but did you listen to me? Oh, no, 

you knew it all, didn't you? Oh, I'm just a 

harmless little Happy Meal, you say?  But,

you ignored my huge, sharp teeth, didn't

you?  I'm a cannibal, I tell you, a cannibal!  

Kids don't eat me; I eat kids!"

Down Alabama way, they call people like

 Michael Hill, President of the League of 

the South, "Crazy 'Seshers," and keep

them as pets.

New Praying Mantis Species a 'Vicious Hunter', 

Does Not Say Grace Before Meals

Daughter Mounts 'Curmudgeonly-Old-Individual-Who-Uses-

Colorful-Language' Defense of Father's Use of Racial Slurs

Puffington Host #4

Bum Wrap Gets Bum Rap

Denny Bonavita Sez:  "Why am I so old and angry?  

Poor people, that's why!"

His Friends Call Him 'Pinch'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #572

Charles Van Zant

"Take me

I'm yours

Take me."

World's Greatest Dracula Authority Now Undead

Rubio Won't Say Whether He Inhaled, Exhaled, or

Held His Breath

"Edwin Meese made me wear this hair bow!"

Up close, you can tell why his surname is 'Slowinski'

 and not 'Fastwinski'.

You don't have to be a racist to be a Republican these days,

but it sure helps.

Flag Desecration #77

Former Princeton University President Blasts

 'Immature' Students for Not Being as Old 

as He Is

If Elisabeth Hasselbeck insists on being a blonde joke,

is it too much to ask that she be funny?

US Pot Calls Chinese Kettle Black

"Hell, no!  I still don't believe in 'warmism'!"

Kermit the Frog Gets in Touch with His

Inner Buddha

Arizona Republican Gary Kiehne Vigorously Denies His

'Liberal Hunting License' Has Expired

"Harley Brown, Harley Brown

He's a clown, that Harley Brown."