With his radio advertisers bailing on him right 

and left, Rush Limbaugh will obviously need

some new sponsors in order to stay on the 

air.  Here are some possibilities, in no

particular order:  PublishIt.com, PooLife, 

Code X, Heinz Spotted Dick, Jamaica Sun

 Cock Soup, Bum Bum Bananas, and Erektus 

Energy Drink.

"Rush is always right.  Why else would

he have 15 million listeners?"

"Why is he doing that?"

"He does it every time he hears someone say,

'Gordon Warren Epperly'."

"I agree with Michelle Malkin:  Sandra Fluke is 

a femme-agogue tool."

"Here I come again, Mitt Romney 

Like a dog in heat 

Tell it's me by the clamor, Mitt Romney 

I like to tear up the street." 

If you believe, like this clown, that the price of gasoline has

any relation whatever to the concept of the 'free market',

you probably ought to be institutionalized.

Advertisus Interruptus?  More Dissatisfied

Corporate Bedfellows Pulling Out of 

Rush Limbaugh

Jesus Sez:  "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy

 closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy 

Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth

 in secret shall reward thee openly."

After 36 years in Congress, Norm Dicks (D-WA) is retiring. You 

would think that by having a surname like 'Dicks', someone

 would have noticed him before now.

Warm Scuzzies #266

Marcel Guarnizo

"Did you hear that Sheriff Arpaio has a 'cold-case posse'?"

"No, I didn't even know he'd had a sex-change operation."

“I hope people see that I’m dead serious about what I’m

 dead serious about, and besides that, it’s all about a 

good laugh.”

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #136

Dave Weigel and Sean Hackbarth

The archaeological dig currently underway on Jan Brewer's 

face has revealed alternating layers of trash, washed-in 

gravels, and episodes of ash dumping.

"We understand, Mr. Murdoch, that your son, James, is no

longer in the News Corp. picture."

Sheriff Arpaio's investigation of the authenticity of 

Barack Obama's birth certificate has also brought

to light the when and where of how the President

had Andrew Breitbart bumped off.

Were a sex video involving Rush Limbaugh ever posted 

on the Internet, the world's libido would so slacken that 

Zero Population Growth might finally become a reality.

Dems Roll Blunt As Senate Republicans Cast 

Tough Birth Control Vote

The passing of Andrew Breitbart is a timely reminder to

those who believe that Death can be shouted down.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #367

Arthur Jones

"That mantis ain't praying; it's testifying!"

Warm Scuzzies #265

Richard Cebull

Andrew Schiff Sez:  "Sure, the $350,000-a-year I earn 

puts me in the 1%, but it doesn't even cover my kids' 

private-school tuition, my summer home in Connecticut, 

or the upgrade I would like to make to my 1,200-

square-foot Brooklyn duplex. I just feel stuck. The

 New York that I wanted to have is still just beyond 

my reach.  People who don’t have money simply

don’t understand the stress.  Please remember

me in your prayers."

Unwed Mother and Son to Star in Reality TV

 Show, I Don't Need No Stinkin' Birth Control!

Franklin Graham Apologizes for Doubting

President Obama's Faith, Says Being Billy

Graham's Son "Is Not My Fault"

The Day Mitt Romney Decided to Trade All His Flip-Flops

for Crocs

"Surfing isn't all what it's cracked up to be!  If I had my

 druthers, I'd rather be sniffing another bulldog's ass on

 a balmy Saturday night on Sunset Strip."

"The Center Crumbles!" the headline at The Politico laments. 

 The last time there was such bad news was when the headline

 at The Pompeian Daily News read, "Vesuvius Erupts!" 

"Is the vet in?  For some reason, my dog is afraid

 of Mitt Romney."

Yes, Gina Rinehart is an Australian billionaire, but she 

adamantly denies that's what makes her so fat and ugly.

Little Known Fact #25

Baby Tapirs get their spots from mothers 

who regularly eat gorditas at Taco Bell.

"In the Post-Modern Era, there are no heroes, only villains.

  Like Jesus said,  'A prophet is not without honour, save in 

his own country, and in his own house'.  Take me, for instance."

According to Amnesty International, over 500 Americans

have died from being Tasered by the police over the past

 ten years.  Think of it:  you can be electrocuted by the

 police without ever being arrested, tried, or convicted of 

anything, like, say, running without permission across

a baseball field with a broken arm.

Presidential Candidate Claims 'Fossilized Santorum' Was 

Created by God 6,000 Years Ago to Look Like It's 

Millions of Years Old

"Hey, where are you headed in such a hurry?"

"To Virginia!"

"What for?"

"So I can buy more than one gun this month!"

American's Dream

Recently-Declassified Photograph #28

Imperial All-Terrain Armored-Jolie Transport

Warm Scuzzies #264

Jay Taylor

Like Siggy Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,

 and sometimes it ain't."

Callista Gingrich's Hair Announces Candidacy for the 

Presidency as Leader of the Blunt Cut Bob Party

Romney Sweeps Arizona & Michigan

Limbaugh Lights Hair on Fire to Spite Romney and

Excite Republican Base

"Since it's Leap Day, let's jump right over that small patch 

of brown liquid, otherwise known as Santorum, shall we?"

The Gipper Nursing a Reagan Democrat

New Bestseller Reveals Wealth 

Secrets of the Rich and Famous

Rick Santorum regrets saying that he 

wanted to 'throw up' in response to

 watching President Kennedy's 1960 

speech about the separation of church

 and state. "I should have said, 'puke!'" 

Santorum explained on Tuesday.

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #6

Clay Scofield

World's Worst Yoobs #112

Kerry Picket

Yes, there's even a iPhone app that renders Michele 

Bachmann completely invisible.  And, best of all,  you can 

download it for free!

The Republican Version of the 'Killer Joke'