Saturday, March 03, 2012

With his radio advertisers bailing on him right 
and left, Rush Limbaugh will obviously need
some new sponsors in order to stay on the 
air.  Here are some possibilities, in no
particular order:, PooLife, 
Code X, Heinz Spotted Dick, Jamaica Sun
 Cock Soup, Bum Bum Bananas, and Erektus 
Energy Drink.
"Rush is always right.  Why else would
he have 15 million listeners?"
"Why is he doing that?"
"He does it every time he hears someone say,
'Gordon Warren Epperly'."
"I agree with Michelle Malkin:  Sandra Fluke is 
a femme-agogue tool."
"Here I come again, Mitt Romney 
Like a dog in heat 
Tell it's me by the clamor, Mitt Romney 
I like to tear up the street." 
If you believe, like this clown, that the price of gasoline has
any relation whatever to the concept of the 'free market',
you probably ought to be institutionalized.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Advertisus Interruptus?  More Dissatisfied
Corporate Bedfellows Pulling Out of 
Rush Limbaugh
Jesus Sez:  "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy
 closetand when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy 
Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth
 in secret shall reward thee openly."
After 36 years in Congress, Norm Dicks (D-WA) is retiring. You 
would think that by having a surname like 'Dicks', someone
 would have noticed him before now.
Warm Scuzzies #266
Marcel Guarnizo
"Did you hear that Sheriff Arpaio has a 'cold-case posse'?"
"No, I didn't even know he'd had a sex-change operation."
“I hope people see that I’m dead serious about what I’m
 dead serious about, and besides that, it’s all about a 
good laugh.”
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #136
Dave Weigel and Sean Hackbarth
The archaeological dig currently underway on Jan Brewer's 
face has revealed alternating layers of trash, washed-in 
gravels, and episodes of ash dumping.
"We understand, Mr. Murdoch, that your son, James, is no
longer in the News Corp. picture."
Sheriff Arpaio's investigation of the authenticity of 
Barack Obama's birth certificate has also brought
to light the when and where of how the President
had Andrew Breitbart bumped off.
Were a sex video involving Rush Limbaugh ever posted 
on the Internet, the world's libido would so slacken that 
Zero Population Growth might finally become a reality.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

Dems Roll Blunt As Senate Republicans Cast 
Tough Birth Control Vote
The passing of Andrew Breitbart is a timely reminder to
those who believe that Death can be shouted down.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #367
Arthur Jones
"That mantis ain't praying; it's testifying!"
Warm Scuzzies #265
Richard Cebull
Andrew Schiff Sez:  "Sure, the $350,000-a-year I earn 
puts me in the 1%, but it doesn't even cover my kids' 
private-school tuition, my summer home in Connecticut, 
or the upgrade I would like to make to my 1,200-
square-foot Brooklyn duplex. I just feel stuck. The
 New York that I wanted to have is still just beyond 
my reach.  People who don’t have money simply
don’t understand the stress.  Please remember
me in your prayers."
Unwed Mother and Son to Star in Reality TV
 Show, I Don't Need No Stinkin' Birth Control!
Franklin Graham Apologizes for Doubting
President Obama's Faith, Says Being Billy
Graham's Son "Is Not My Fault"
The Day Mitt Romney Decided to Trade All His Flip-Flops
for Crocs

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

"Surfing isn't all what it's cracked up to be!  If I had my
 druthers, I'd rather be sniffing another bulldog's ass on
 a balmy Saturday night on Sunset Strip."
"The Center Crumbles!" the headline at The Politico laments. 
 The last time there was such bad news was when the headline
 at The Pompeian Daily News read, "Vesuvius Erupts!" 
"Is the vet in?  For some reason, my dog is afraid
 of Mitt Romney."
Yes, Gina Rinehart is an Australian billionaire, but she 
adamantly denies that's what makes her so fat and ugly.
Little Known Fact #25
Baby Tapirs get their spots from mothers 
who regularly eat gorditas at Taco Bell.
"In the Post-Modern Era, there are no heroes, only villains.
  Like Jesus said,  'A prophet is not without honour, save in 
his own country, and in his own house'.  Take me, for instance."
According to Amnesty International, over 500 Americans
have died from being Tasered by the police over the past
 ten years.  Think of it:  you can be electrocuted by the
 police without ever being arrested, tried, or convicted of 
anything, like, say, running without permission across
a baseball field with a broken arm.
Presidential Candidate Claims 'Fossilized Santorum' Was 
Created by God 6,000 Years Ago to Look Like It's 
Millions of Years Old
"Hey, where are you headed in such a hurry?"
"To Virginia!"
"What for?"
"So I can buy more than one gun this month!"
American's Dream
Recently-Declassified Photograph #28
Imperial All-Terrain Armored-Jolie Transport
Warm Scuzzies #264
Jay Taylor
Like Siggy Freud said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar,
 and sometimes it ain't."
Callista Gingrich's Hair Announces Candidacy for the 
Presidency as Leader of the Blunt Cut Bob Party
Romney Sweeps Arizona & Michigan
Limbaugh Lights Hair on Fire to Spite Romney and
Excite Republican Base
"Since it's Leap Day, let's jump right over that small patch 
of brown liquid, otherwise known as Santorum, shall we?"

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

The Gipper Nursing a Reagan Democrat
New Bestseller Reveals Wealth 
Secrets of the Rich and Famous
Rick Santorum regrets saying that he 
wanted to 'throw up' in response to
 watching President Kennedy's 1960 
speech about the separation of church
 and state. "I should have said, 'puke!'" 
Santorum explained on Tuesday.
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #6
Clay Scofield
World's Worst Yoobs #112
Kerry Picket

Monday, February 27, 2012

Yes, there's even a iPhone app that renders Michele 
Bachmann completely invisible.  And, best of all,  you can 
download it for free!
The Republican Version of the 'Killer Joke'