Warm Scuzzies #361

Dixie State College/Dixie State University

Mike O'Neal, Republican Speaker of the Kansas House of 

Representatives, Prays for Obama's Death, Not Knowing

God Is a Mulatto

Tim Donnelly Sez:  “Guns are used to defend our property 

and our families and our faith and our freedom, and they 

are absolutely essential to living the way God intended 

for us to live.”

[Like Jesus said, "Praise the Lord and pass the

ammunition!"]

Meet David A. Keene, President of the NRA.  

His former wife of 32 years, Diana---David

 has been married three times---went to jail

 for embezzling hundreds of thousands of 

dollars from the American Conservative 

Union, which David chaired for 27 years.  

David's son, who is also named David, has

 spent ten years in prison for discharging a 

firearm in a fit of road rage while working

as director of online communications for

the American Conservative Union.  As a

young man, David worked as a politi-

cal assistant to Vice President Spiro

Agnew, who was forced to resign from

office in disgrace.  Mr. Keene, in other

 words, is a paragon of conservative 

Republican values.

David Brooks' Eyebrows Totally Path-

ological, Completely Out of Control

Naked-Image Scanners to Be Removed from U. S. Airports;

Playmobil Version Remains Popular with Kids

American Schutzstaffel #12

Warm Scuzzies #360

Tom Selleck

John Mackey won't say

'Fascism' anymore.  But

he will say 'Government-

Controlled'.

Oxymorons for Our Time #144

Sports Hero

"Who's that?"

"That's John Barrow.  He works in the

Entertainment Division of the NRA."

Gunhuggers are always so proud of how much they've 

learned about guns from personal experience.  That's 

like being proud of how much one has learned about 

STDs from personal experience.

 

"I'm the NRA."

"No, I'm the NRA."

"You're both wrong:  I'm the NRA."

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #21

Loy Mauch

Those nullifiers and secessionists calling for a new civil 

war have a point:  America's first civil war resulted in 

only 625,000 dead and 338,000 wounded.  Surely with 

today's high-tech weaponry, we can do better than that.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #161

Andrew Thomas and Joe Arpaio

Rude Rhymes #61

Norway Rat

Larry Pratt

“But, you know, if Florida Atlantic University intends 

to fire me, ultimately, how good of an institution is 

it? If they’re not going to stand up for free speech 

and ideas and things of the like, then I’m not too 

sure I want to be here, either.  Anyway, let's get

back to today's topic:  the faked moon landings."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #458

Joe Carr

Should Mark Sanford be given a second chance to finish 

the Appalachian Trail?

JPMorgan Chase Cuts CEO Dimon's Pay in Half—to 

$11.5 Million; Bank's Flags Lowered to Half-Staff

It's not just that so many Americans own 

so many guns.  It's that so many Americans 

with guns seem so ready and willing---almost

eager---to shoot someone.

Snug Harbor, a New Eleemosynary Institution, Founded

to Provide Shelter for Victims of Hurricane Obama

With a gullet roomier than a pelican's, Ed Meese 

isn't dead yet and is threatening to get better.

Sign of the Times #40

Bad Will Hunting

Warm Scuzzies #359

Carmen Ortiz

Limbaugh's David

Former Aide Says Michele Bachmann Developed 'Unnatural',

'Rasputin-Like' Relationship with Debate Coach during 

2012 Presidential Campaign

World's Worst Yobs #275

Jack Hoogendyk

NRA Shooting Game 'No Longer Suitable for

4-Year-Olds', Still Suitable for Testosterone-

Poisoned Adolescents Thrilled by 'Instense'

and 'Realistic' Violence

South Florida Tea Party Dumps Teabags into Atlantic 

Ocean, Changes Name to National Liberty Federation

Honk! If You Heart Drilling George Burnett

Sign of the Times #39

Are Screwy Squirrel and Gyro Gearloose in cahoots 

with Hitler and Stalin to grab our nation's guns?

Like Jim Hightower says, "There's nothing in the middle

of the road but yellow stripes and dead armadillos."

Hey, it's still four days until 'Gun Appreciation Day' and 

already 836 Americans have died from gunfire since the 

Newtown massacre.  God bless America!

Simple Simon Met Sheriff Denny Peyman Who

 Said He Was Even Open to Allowing People to 

Own Hand Grenades “If It Was Necessary for 

Self-Protection”

"Doping?  Do I look like I've been

doping?"

Would someone please explain why anyone should give

this serial perjurer the time of day?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #457

Steve Stockman

White House Rejects Texas Secession; Nation Mourns

Scientists Spot 'Precursor to Life' in Deep Space; 

Process of 'Palingenesis' Believed to Have Seeded

 Planetary Life

"Marsha Blackburn, when the gov-

ernment shutdown comes, I want

to spend that time with you!"

Raúl Labrador

William Paul 'Goes Galt', Is Charged with Underage 

Drinking, Disorderly Conduct, Being Intoxicated 

and Disruptive, and Assaulting a Flight Attendant

Huntsman-Manchin Tag Team to Challenge

Afa and Sika, the Wild Partisans, to 'No 

Labels' Doomsday Cage Match

Lincoln Makes Surprise Appearance at 

Golden Globe Awards