Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #105

Right Turn

Airlines Banning Shit-Faced Dogs

Found in Anders Behring Breivik's Wallet

The Potrzebie Prize #12

Rick Santorum Showered with Praise for

Excellence in the Oral Arts

"The terrorist attack in Norway is a sobering reminder for

for those who think it’s too expensive to wage a war

against jihadists.  So what if the perp is a right-wing

Christian fundamentalist!  That's all the more reason

to bomb Iran and invade Iraq for a second time!"

Anders Behring Breivik, Norway's Timothy McVeigh

"As a member of the Senate's Gang of Six, I'm setting my

sights on people who are sucking off."

Donald Trump Threatens To Run As

An Independent Dorkmeister

Anders Behring Breivik wants to thank Michelle

Malkin for blaming his terrorist attack in

Norway on Muslims and not on right-wing

Christian fundamentalists.

Dim Dem Wu Accused of Sexual Assault

"I'm here today to say the Republican Party will never forget

the Pulley Bone, regardless of how KFC has consigned it

to outer darkness."

John Edwards Before Learning He Owes the Government

$2 Million

After

Diehard Dittohead Sez:  "Heat is a secondary quality.  It's

just in your head.  And the Heat Index is nothing more than

a manufactured government conspiracy."

As someone once wisely said, "If men

could get pregnant, abortion would be a

sacrament."

GOP Makes Big Gains Among White Voters;

Sun Rises in East, Sets in West

Some people admire Eric Cantor's cauliflower ear.  Others

admire his rutabaga brain.

Entire Nation Feeling Under the Weather, Decides to Take

the Rest of the Summer Off

Contrary to popular belief, Emerson Begolly---the world's

first true Islamofascist hybrid---does not drive a Prius.

"Who are you calling 'Big Nose', punk?"

"Mr. Chapman, if Major Dutch Schaefer

were to tell you, as he once did the

Predator, 'You're one ugly mother-

fucker!', how would you react?  Would

you start with pepper spray and then

move on to 'Profit-Driven Peacockery',

or vice-versa?"

"I was just wondering if you had anything a little less white

in your Robert Stacy McCain Vintage Home Furnishings

Collection."

Joan of Fark

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #55

Look Back in Anger 4:  Allen West Leaves the Plantation

Would someone please explain the difference between

lobbying, influence peddling, and bribery?

A recently-released survey finds that only 52%

 of American voters approve of God's job

performance.  A debate is now raging as

to whether He should be primaried in 2012.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #319

Greg Gutfeld

"Don't forget the wine on your way home.  Remember:  you

get a 10% discount when you buy 10 boxes at one time.  

 XOXO, Ann."

"Oh, gee willikers!  If you insist, I guess

 I'll certify the repeal of DADT."

"Waaaaah!  Leave Fox News alone!"

Allen West, 'the Pride of Plantation, Florida', Sez: "I have

been called an Uncle Tom, a sell-out Oreo, a bitch-

slapping pimp. And you know, I’m the threat because

I’m the guy that got off their 21st-century plantation,

and they cannot afford to have a strong voice such

 as mine out there, reverberating and resonating

across this country.”

Married for only two months, Britta Palin sets new Track

record by appearing seven months pregnant.

"Campaign manager?  I don't need no stinkin'

campaign manager!"

People disagreed as to which was uglier:  his Gaddafi

tattoo or his hairy man-boob.

"I want to help the mainstream media.  I have a

 journalism degree.  That is what I studied.  I

want to help them build back their reputation.

Hey!  Why is everybody laughing?"

Donations Now Being Accepted to

Build Wall Around Arizona

Warm Scuzzies #201

Kris Jordan

John Kasich's Job Approval Rating Drops to 35%;

Governor's Frown Muscles Get Good Workout

In light of the fact that 'matrix' is derived

from the Latin word meaning 'female

animal kept for breeding', it would seem

that Matrix Direct would be an apt

name for a whorehouse, not an

insurance company.

As Rupert had said, "This is the most humble pie day

of my life."

Warm Scuzzies #200

Quartzsite, Arizona

"Look, Ma, no calluses!"

"OK, mate, I confess!  It was I who stole the forbidden

Tana leaves."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #318

Keith Ablow

Guard Tells Lesbian Couple Not to Hold Hands at

Marcus Bachmann Exhibit

"Not tonight, Marcus, I have a headache!"

James O'Keefe Joins the British Army's Kamikaze

Regiment, the Queen's McKamikaze Highlanders

Michigan Woman Arrested for Identity Theft,

Impersonating a Virgin

Japan Bans Fukushima Beef Shipments That Glow in the Dark

Allen West, the Reverse-Inverse Racist, Sez:  "I must confess,

when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I

recognize them as a threat to the gene pool."