Saturday, July 23, 2011

Rightbloggers and Other
Internet Biohazards #105
Right Turn
Airlines Banning Shit-Faced Dogs
Found in Anders Behring Breivik's Wallet
The Potrzebie Prize #12
Rick Santorum Showered with Praise for
Excellence in the Oral Arts
"The terrorist attack in Norway is a sobering reminder for
for those who think it’s too expensive to wage a war
against jihadists.  So what if the perp is a right-wing
Christian fundamentalist!  That's all the more reason
to bomb Iran and invade Iraq for a second time!"
Anders Behring Breivik, Norway's Timothy McVeigh
"As a member of the Senate's Gang of Six, I'm setting my
sights on people who are sucking off."
Donald Trump Threatens To Run As
An Independent Dorkmeister
Anders Behring Breivik wants to thank Michelle
Malkin for blaming his terrorist attack in
Norway on Muslims and not on right-wing
Christian fundamentalists.
Dim Dem Wu Accused of Sexual Assault

Friday, July 22, 2011

"I'm here today to say the Republican Party will never forget
the Pulley Bone, regardless of how KFC has consigned it
to outer darkness."
John Edwards Before Learning He Owes the Government
$2 Million

Diehard Dittohead Sez:  "Heat is a secondary quality.  It's
just in your head.  And the Heat Index is nothing more than
a manufactured government conspiracy."
As someone once wisely said, "If men
could get pregnant, abortion would be a
GOP Makes Big Gains Among White Voters;
Sun Rises in East, Sets in West
Some people admire Eric Cantor's cauliflower ear.  Others
admire his rutabaga brain.
Entire Nation Feeling Under the Weather, Decides to Take
the Rest of the Summer Off
Contrary to popular belief, Emerson Begolly---the world's
first true Islamofascist hybrid---does not drive a Prius.
"Who are you calling 'Big Nose', punk?"
"Mr. Chapman, if Major Dutch Schaefer
were to tell you, as he once did the
Predator, 'You're one ugly mother-
fucker!', how would you react?  Would
you start with pepper spray and then
move on to 'Profit-Driven Peacockery',
or vice-versa?"
"I was just wondering if you had anything a little less white
in your Robert Stacy McCain Vintage Home Furnishings
Joan of Fark
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #55
Look Back in Anger 4:  Allen West Leaves the Plantation
Would someone please explain the difference between
lobbying, influence peddling, and bribery?
A recently-released survey finds that only 52%
 of American voters approve of God's job
performance.  A debate is now raging as
to whether He should be primaried in 2012.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #319
Greg Gutfeld
"Don't forget the wine on your way home.  Remember:  you
get a 10% discount when you buy 10 boxes at one time.  
 XOXO, Ann."
"Oh, gee willikers!  If you insist, I guess
 I'll certify the repeal of DADT."
"Waaaaah!  Leave Fox News alone!"

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Allen West, 'the Pride of Plantation, Florida', Sez: "I have
been called an Uncle Tom, a sell-out Oreo, a bitch-
slapping pimp. And you know, I’m the threat because
I’m the guy that got off their 21st-century plantation,
and they cannot afford to have a strong voice such
 as mine out there, reverberating and resonating
across this country.”
Married for only two months, Britta Palin sets new Track
record by appearing seven months pregnant.
"Campaign manager?  I don't need no stinkin'
campaign manager!"
People disagreed as to which was uglier:  his Gaddafi
tattoo or his hairy man-boob.
"I want to help the mainstream media.  I have a
 journalism degree.  That is what I studied.  I
want to help them build back their reputation.
Hey!  Why is everybody laughing?"
Donations Now Being Accepted to
Build Wall Around Arizona

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Warm Scuzzies #201
Kris Jordan
John Kasich's Job Approval Rating Drops to 35%;
Governor's Frown Muscles Get Good Workout
In light of the fact that 'matrix' is derived
from the Latin word meaning 'female
animal kept for breeding', it would seem
that Matrix Direct would be an apt
name for a whorehouse, not an
insurance company.
As Rupert had said, "This is the most humble pie day
of my life."
Warm Scuzzies #200
Quartzsite, Arizona
"Look, Ma, no calluses!"
"OK, mate, I confess!  It was I who stole the forbidden
Tana leaves."
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #318
Keith Ablow
Guard Tells Lesbian Couple Not to Hold Hands at
Marcus Bachmann Exhibit
"Not tonight, Marcus, I have a headache!"
James O'Keefe Joins the British Army's Kamikaze
Regiment, the Queen's McKamikaze Highlanders
Michigan Woman Arrested for Identity Theft,
Impersonating a Virgin

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Japan Bans Fukushima Beef Shipments That Glow in the Dark
Allen West, the Reverse-Inverse Racist, Sez:  "I must confess,
when I see anyone with an Obama 2012 bumper sticker, I
recognize them as a threat to the gene pool."