Sarah and Todd Put On the Whole Armor of God, 

Including the Chick-fil-A® of Righteousness

Luckily, there is no such thing as a Krauthammer bust.

Third-Rate Shooter Kills Only Three

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #401

Wesley W. Harris

"Five hot dogs?  Coming right up!"

Like other slug species, Karl Rove has a deathly fear of salt.

Laura Bush Sez:  "You know, I think George makes 

an easy target."

Her beauty was only skin deep, but her insanity went all

the way to the bone.

In Mitt Romney's world, England is a small island with 

small roads, small houses, and small Anglo-Saxons.

The first stop on Mitt Romney's

 'Remember the War of 1812 

Tour' was 10 Downing Street.

Louie Gohmert Sez:  "Would the media please stop asking 

other Republicans their opinions about my opinions?"

Heretofore he only had to distance himself from his advisers.  

Now he was having to distance himself from himself.

World's Worst Yobs #261

Aaron Blake

Mitt Romney Confounds Jesus' Teaching, 

Rides Camel Through Eye of Needle

Fearguth's Rules of Order #53

Never ask a gurner if he is uninformed, misinformed,

or disinformed.

Twitter Suffers Massive Outage, World Spared 

Eleventy-Zillion 140-Character-Long 

Premature Ejaculations

Mitt Romney Launching Drone Designed 

to Destroy Hostile British Press

Two Jokes Laughing at Themselves

Mitt Romney believes the way to reduce gun-related violence 

in this country is to change people's hearts.  And the best way 

to do this is to cut taxes, reduce government regulations, and 

put more Mormon missionaries on the streets.

The electronic computer was invented after he was born

 and the Shewee was invented before he died.  

All the prophecies made about him had been 

fulfilled, and so it was time for him to go.

After Rush Limbaugh praised him for saying that guns are 

"the last form of defense against tyranny," Ice-T responded 

by exclaiming, "He's a racist piece of shit!"  Not to worry:

it's just another gun-lovers' quarrel; they'll quickly kiss

and make up.

Chick-fil-A®'s new homophobic sandwich is served 

without a warm bun or special sauce; it's only a 

chicken patty topped with two pickle slices.

"We are holding an Olympic Games, Mr. Romney, 

in one of the busiest, most active, bustling cities 

anywhere in the world. Of course, it's easier if 

you hold an Olympic Games in the middle of 

nowhere, like you did in Salt Lake City in 2002."

"Why are you trying to buy the government, 

Mr. Adelson?"

"I think every billionaire should own

at least one, and the price is right for 

the government of the United States 

at the moment.  And besides, I never 

settle for second best."

Louie Gohmert Said to Have More Hands-On

Experience with Numb Nuts Than Any Other

Teabagger in Congress

The Unexpurgated Bible #79

"Of Mitt Romney it hath been said, 'And he bended 

his tongue like a bow for lies'."

Mitt Romney says he won't be watching his 

$77,731 in 'passive losses' perform at the 

London Olympics.

David Frum wants to build an Alexander Hamilton memorial.

You remember Hamilton:  he was the Founding Father of

the 1% who died in a duel with Aaron Burr.

Rick-fil-A® Demonstrating the Proper Technique

for Eating a Choking-the-Chicken Sandwich

Try this conspiracy theory on for size:  'Gun Manufacturers 

Stage Aurora Shooting to Panic Americans into Buying 

More Guns'.

One of these gasbags is filled with hot air and the other is

filled with cold.  Can you tell which is which?

Today, we learned that Mitt Romney also belongs to the

Church of Latter-Day Anglo-Saxons and that Barack

Obama doesn't.

James Taranto says he's willing to die to save any girl who is

 worth the sacrifice.  Not necessarily this one, however.

Warm Scuzzies #310

Matt Shea

'Gun Sales Surge in US Following Colorado Shooting': 

the American Death Spiral Accelerates

Little Known Fact #31

There is only a 1 in 286 chance of sustaining second- or 

third-degree burns from firewalking, while there is a 1 

in 84 lifetime risk of death from riding in a car.

To All Conceal-Carry Believers

Please be advised that James Holmes and his

ilk have significantly upped the ante in the war

 of all against all.

World's Worst Yobs #260

Aaron D. Dyer

Warm Scuzzies #309

Jack Gilchrist

If you don't want to hurt Mitt Romney's feelings, don't 

ask him about his years as CEO of Bain, as governor of 

Massachusetts, and as a Mormon.  You know, don't ask

him about some of the most important events in his life.

Who would sell an AK-47, four handguns,

and several boxes of ammo to this man?

Somebody did.

He was thinking about going out for a chicken sandwich, 

until he saw the headline, "Arkansas Babtist Launches 

'Chick-fil-A® Appreciation Day'," and he lost his appetite.

"There she is, Miss America

There she is, our ideal."

'Temporal Illusion' Appears in Court

AR-15 Praised for Jamming and Saving Lives

Congolese Rebel Group Still Seeking Thieves

Who Stole Office Building

Iraq's War Against the Automobile Continues

"Whoa!  Is that a cop or a recruiter

for the NRA?"

The Paterno statue's parting gesture seemed rather rude.