Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #324

Kim Simac

Warm Scuzzies #204

Jarrod Martin

Matt Lewis & the News has about as much 'news' content

as Huey Lewis & the News.

"Now that Marcus and I have borrowed $417,000 for a

 golf-course home, a loan backed by Freddie Mac, we

believe this program should be dismantled before

other good conservative Republicans are tempted

 to become insufferable hypocrites."

Laughingstock Laughing

Squirrel Claims to Have Started Facebook 'Planking' Fad

Woman, 51, Miffed After Walmart Tells Her to Put

Shirt Over Torso, Gunnysack Over Head

Hitler Kitten Adopts Glenn Beck

60% in Latest Gallup Poll Tell the President,

"It's the Economy, Stupid!"

Monowi, Nebraska (population 1) is right down the

road from Duowi, Nebraska (population 2).

Does the Book of Mormon teach 'Baby Juggling'?

Having plead guilty to the charge of attacking Rupert Murdoch

with a shaving-cream pie, Jonathan May-Bowles said, “I

would just like to say this has been the most humble day

of my life."

Governor Christie had become such a dumpling people

started calling him Gnocchio.

Casey Anthony Offered $500,000 to Pose Nude in Hustler

as Part of National Anti-Smut Campaign

When asked why it took him ten years to finally

explain his slow reaction to the events of 9/11,

former President George Bush said he had

needed the time to "collect his thoughts."

Bush Slow to Explain Slow 9/11 Reaction; "I Wanted to

Project a Sense of Slowness," Says Former President

Governor Perry and a New Frontier

"Am I a Deadbeat Dad?  Sure I am, because this is where

real America is!"

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #323

Larry Klayman

Was he S.O.B.-ing, or had he just teared up?

Does Chris Christie have the look of a President?

Sure.  Remember William Howard Taft?

The Unexpurgated Bible #58

"For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and

earth pass, every jot and tittle of Michele

Bachmann's life will be fully looked at and

 inspected, till all be fulfilled in November, 2012."

Piers Morgan Vigorously Denies Phone-Hacking,

Stogie-Puffing Charges

House Republicans Challenge Senate Democrats to a

Clockwork Orange House of Fun Barbed Wire Steel

 Cage Death Match

"Our friends in New York six weeks ago

passed a statute that said marriage can be

between two people of the same sex. And

you know what? That's New York, and that's

their business, and that's fine with me. That

is their call. If you believe in the 10th Amend-

ment, stay out of their business."

Rick Perry, July 22, 2011 

“I probably needed to add a few words after

that ‘it’s fine with me,’ and that it’s fine with

 me that a state is using their sovereign rights

to decide an issue. Obviously gay marriage

is not fine with me. My stance hasn’t

changed.  Indeed, to not pass the Federal

 Marriage Amendment would impinge on

Texas' and other states' right not to have

 marriage forced upon them by activist

judges and special interest groups."

Rick Perry, July 28, 2011

“Congressman Walsh, quit lying! Have you no shame, sir? You

 owe $117,000 in child support to your ex-wife and three

children.  Pay up and shut up!”

"O Lord, You are the Master of the Universe, You are the

Author and Finisher of our Faith, You are the Alpha and the

Omega, the Beginning and the End, Creator God, True

God, Almighty God, Everlasting Father, You are the

Great Most High. Lord, I thank You for what You have

done for this teabag and for how You are going to

expand it from single serve to family size."

"Tell us, Heap Big Indian Chief Standing Brave, why are

 you wearing a Confederate battle flag loincloth?"

Andrew Sullivan to Star in Night of the

Creepy Web Crawlers

"Like Michelle Malkin says, 'The Food Nazis won't

 rest until the Happy Meal has undergone the total

Berkeley makeover'."

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #322

Republic, Missouri ISD School Board

Bradlee Dean Sues Rachel Maddow for $50 Million, Needs

the Money to Hire Tamara Robertson, Hair Stylist and

 Makeup Artist for Michele Bachmann and Fox News

Phyllis Schlafly Added to National

Register of Historic Places

"Whaddya mean, 'the old McCain is back'?  I'm 75 for

chrissakes, and I never went away!"

When he heard John Boehner say, "Get your ass in line!"

the old man said, "I fart in your general direction."

McDonald's Happy Meal was happy today, but

Jesse's Girl wasn't.

"If, verily, it may seem good to you, O Primal Origin of My

Origination, translate me, now held by my lower nature,

unto the Generation that is free from Deficits; in order

that, beyond the insistent Debt Ceiling that presses on

 me, I may have a Vision of the Life-Bestowing

Balanced Budget."

Is this what they call an 'Unmanned Aerial Vehicle' (UAV)?

Can you imagine someone who believes his purpose in life

is to become a suicide bomber so that he can blow up the

Mayor of Kandahar?

The Trinidad Scorpion Butch Taylor chili pepper

measures a mighty 1,463,700 on the Scoville

heat unit scale compared to around 3,500 for

 the humble Jalapeño. Here's a way to settle

the debt ceiling debate:  representatives of each

side of the issue---let's say Obama, Boehner, and

DeMint---will masticate one of these suckers whole.

He who is left standing wins the debate. If no one

is left standing, three more representatives

will be chosen. And so on.

Newt Gingrich Closes Tiffany Account,

Callista Now Shopping for New Spouse

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #321

Charlie Webster

Warm Scuzzies #203

Anthony Trinca

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #320

Billy Long

Q: "How many Rand Paul's does it take

to screw in an incandescent lightbulb?"

A: "One, when he's not out haranguing

about 'Low-Flow Toilets'.  Two, when he is."

"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!"

World's Worst Yoobs #101

Katrina Trinko