Decision 2012

George Bushama 

or

Barack O'Bush?

China Bans Movies about Time Travel; "They Are Totally

Made Up,”  Censors Who Wear Confucian Costumes Say

World's Worst Jobs #118

Sri Lankan Firecracker Factory Worker

Porky Pence Sez:  "But we’re trying — we’re trying to

score a victory for the Republican people, for — for

the American — for the Republican people — trying to

score a victory for the American people, not for the

Republican Party.  Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-... That's all, folks!"

“I was born with a glass half full and a head half empty.”

"Zzzzzzz!"

"Hey, Jamie Dimon got over $20 million in compensation

last year and I only got $19 million.  That's not fair!"

Many DC Denizens Reportedly Looking

Forward to Government Shutdown

Warm Scuzzies #176

Kathy Nickolaus

Want to make sure when you total your car that you're

totaled, too?  Want to burn high-priced gasoline faster

than you can in any other state?  If so, come to Texas,

where the speed limit on certain stretches of highway

will soon be raised to 85.

Sarko the Giant Threatens to Smash

Editor's Face for Calling Carla Bruni

an 'Anthropophagist'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #291

G. Edward Griffin

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #108

Peter Suderman and Megan McArdle

Still Life with Borders Bookstore and Old Woman Browsing

Books on Bankruptcy

If Moe Had Been a Werewolf Instead of a Stooge

"I'm William Temple, and I'm the most famous Transtemporal

Crossdresser living in the 21st century today."

By the time the Earth's human population topped

seven billion, it had become apparent that the

idea of Zero Population Growth had been

sacrificed on the altar of the Joy of Sex.

Yes, by golly, it works!

Making Ends Meet:  How Wrestlers Survive Welfare

and Low-Wage Work is now available for your

Amazon Kindle.  Download it now for only $3.99!

"Oh, yes, Silvio, when your sex trial in Italy begins on May

31, I'll follow it with the same rapt attention I normally

reserve for American Idol and Dancing with the Stars!"

For $8 million, you would think Scott Brown could afford

a better looking War Chest‎ than this.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #290

Ann Barnhardt

Why is Robert Titcomb---who has been

arrested in Hawaii for soliciting sex from

an undercover officer---a close friend and

golfing buddy of Barack Obama and

you're not?

Boy Comatized by Haley Barbour's Southern Drawl

Expected to Recover

Professor Althouse Puts on Her 'Prosser Lost Because

Kloppenburg Cheated' Face

Why is it that some of the best photos of Republican

operatives also happen to be mugshots?

Warm Scuzzies #175

Kenneth Henry

Escapee from Shut 'er Down Island Roaming DC Streets 

Fermilab Announces Discovery of the Nadis Warriors,

"An Entirely New Force of Nature"

"Let me tell you this. They shut me down on radio, that's fine,

I'll do TV. They shut me down on TV, that's fine, I'll do Internet.

They shut me down on the Internet, that's fine, I'll do stage

shows. They shut me down on stage shows, that's fine, I'll go

door to door.  You will have to shoot me in the head. 

That's the only way you can stop a zombie."

The thought that he and his brother had dropped over

$2 million on Prosser's losing judicial campaign in

Wisconsin gave David Koch the dry heaves.

Boehner Cries Over Looming Shutdown

Warm Scuzzies #174

Neil Cole

Researchers Unearth 'First Gay Caveman'

Representative Blake Farenthold (R-TX) disputes the claim

that he owns over $35 million in assets, which makes him one

 of the wealthiest freshmen in the House.  "I'm not nearly as

rich as I look," he says.

Warm Scuzzies #173

Benjamin Foster

Guess who's not laughing today?

If you ridicule his The Path to Prosperity

budget proposal, Paul Ryan will begin to

 look more and more like Sad Sack.

Libyan Rebel Plays 'Penis Envy' Card

Does teen pregnancy pay?  Ask Bristol Palin.  She was paid

$262,500 to warn other teens to not do what she did.

Even if you hadn't heard about the scandalous

memoir, you could tell these two had come

from the same dysfunctional family.

As Brian Deschane has learned, there is something worse than

two DUI convictions, and that's to be demoted by Governor

Scott Walker.

A sunroof is nice, but not in a Boeing 737 at 36,000 feet.

He didn't know whose idea it was to put a centerfold into the

Budget of the U. S. Government.  All he knew was that he

really liked it.

He had leaned to the right for so long he could no longer

stand up straight.

If you're a Chihuahua and want to stay alive,

don't growl at a cop.

President Obama's re-election campaign is barely two days

old, and Peter Beinart is already bored with it.  Such is the

fate of a Jabberwonk.

"The operator of Japan's stricken Fukushima nuclear plant said

Tuesday that it had found radioactive iodine at 7.5 million

 times the legal limit in a seawater sample taken near the

facility, and government officials imposed a new health

limit for radioactivity in fish."  In other words, if your

Asian-Style Tilapia Fillet glows in the dark, it would be

inadvisable to eat it.

Citizens of Maine!

How is Governor Paul LePage working out

for you?

Not so well, eh?

Not to worry.

You only have to put up with

him for FOUR MORE YEARS.

(Bwahahahaha!)

"Mr. Greenspan, the other day you said,

'Today’s competitive markets ... are driven

 by an international version of Adam Smith’s

'invisible hand' that is unredeemably opaque'.

Our readers would like you to explain how

something invisible can also be opaque."