Saturday, April 09, 2011

Decision 2012
George Bushama 
Barack O'Bush?
China Bans Movies about Time Travel; "They Are Totally
Made Up,”  Censors Who Wear Confucian Costumes Say
World's Worst Jobs #118
Sri Lankan Firecracker Factory Worker
Porky Pence Sez:  "But we’re trying — we’re trying to
score a victory for the Republican people, for — for
the American — for the Republican people — trying to
score a victory for the American people, not for the
Republican Party.  Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-... That's all, folks!"
“I was born with a glass half full and a head half empty.”
"Hey, Jamie Dimon got over $20 million in compensation
last year and I only got $19 million.  That's not fair!"

Friday, April 08, 2011

Many DC Denizens Reportedly Looking
Forward to Government Shutdown
Warm Scuzzies #176
Kathy Nickolaus
Want to make sure when you total your car that you're
totaled, too?  Want to burn high-priced gasoline faster
than you can in any other state?  If so, come to Texas,
where the speed limit on certain stretches of highway
will soon be raised to 85.
Sarko the Giant Threatens to Smash
Editor's Face for Calling Carla Bruni
an 'Anthropophagist'
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #291
G. Edward Griffin
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #108
Peter Suderman and Megan McArdle

Thursday, April 07, 2011

Still Life with Borders Bookstore and Old Woman Browsing
Books on Bankruptcy
If Moe Had Been a Werewolf Instead of a Stooge
"I'm William Temple, and I'm the most famous Transtemporal
Crossdresser living in the 21st century today."
By the time the Earth's human population topped
seven billion, it had become apparent that the
idea of Zero Population Growth had been
sacrificed on the altar of the Joy of Sex.
Yes, by golly, it works!
Making Ends Meet:  How Wrestlers Survive Welfare
and Low-Wage Work is now available for your
Amazon Kindle.  Download it now for only $3.99!
"Oh, yes, Silvio, when your sex trial in Italy begins on May
31, I'll follow it with the same rapt attention I normally
reserve for American Idol and Dancing with the Stars!"
For $8 million, you would think Scott Brown could afford
a better looking War Chest‎ than this.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #290
Ann Barnhardt
Why is Robert Titcomb---who has been
arrested in Hawaii for soliciting sex from
an undercover officer---a close friend and
golfing buddy of Barack Obama and
you're not?
Boy Comatized by Haley Barbour's Southern Drawl
Expected to Recover
Professor Althouse Puts on Her 'Prosser Lost Because
Kloppenburg Cheated' Face
Why is it that some of the best photos of Republican
operatives also happen to be mugshots?
Warm Scuzzies #175
Kenneth Henry
Escapee from Shut 'er Down Island Roaming DC Streets 
Fermilab Announces Discovery of the Nadis Warriors,
"An Entirely New Force of Nature"
"Let me tell you this. They shut me down on radio, that's fine,
I'll do TV. They shut me down on TV, that's fine, I'll do Internet.
They shut me down on the Internet, that's fine, I'll do stage
shows. They shut me down on stage shows, that's fine, I'll go
door to door.  You will have to shoot me in the head. 
That's the only way you can stop a zombie."
The thought that he and his brother had dropped over
$2 million on Prosser's losing judicial campaign in
Wisconsin gave David Koch the dry heaves.
Boehner Cries Over Looming Shutdown
Warm Scuzzies #174
Neil Cole
Researchers Unearth 'First Gay Caveman'

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Representative Blake Farenthold (R-TX) disputes the claim
that he owns over $35 million in assets, which makes him one
 of the wealthiest freshmen in the House.  "I'm not nearly as
rich as I look," he says.
Warm Scuzzies #173
Benjamin Foster
Guess who's not laughing today?
If you ridicule his The Path to Prosperity
budget proposal, Paul Ryan will begin to
 look more and more like Sad Sack.
Libyan Rebel Plays 'Penis Envy' Card
Does teen pregnancy pay?  Ask Bristol Palin.  She was paid
$262,500 to warn other teens to not do what she did.
Even if you hadn't heard about the scandalous
memoir, you could tell these two had come
from the same dysfunctional family.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

As Brian Deschane has learned, there is something worse than
two DUI convictions, and that's to be demoted by Governor
Scott Walker.
A sunroof is nice, but not in a Boeing 737 at 36,000 feet.
He didn't know whose idea it was to put a centerfold into the
Budget of the U. S. Government.  All he knew was that he
really liked it.
He had leaned to the right for so long he could no longer
stand up straight.
If you're a Chihuahua and want to stay alive,
don't growl at a cop.
President Obama's re-election campaign is barely two days
old, and Peter Beinart is already bored with it.  Such is the
fate of a Jabberwonk.
"The operator of Japan's stricken Fukushima nuclear plant said
Tuesday that it had found radioactive iodine at 7.5 million
 times the legal limit in a seawater sample taken near the
facility, and government officials imposed a new health
limit for radioactivity in fish."  In other words, if your
Asian-Style Tilapia Fillet glows in the dark, it would be
inadvisable to eat it.
Citizens of Maine!
How is Governor Paul LePage working out
for you?
Not so well, eh?
Not to worry.
You only have to put up with
"Mr. Greenspan, the other day you said,
'Today’s competitive markets ... are driven
 by an international version of Adam Smith’s
'invisible hand' that is unredeemably opaque'.
Our readers would like you to explain how
something invisible can also be opaque."