"I understand the winner of our match gets to 

fight Octomom."

Louie Gohmert Sez:  "I represent 700,000 people from 

East Texas and a vast majority agree with me.”

["Lights out, everybody!"]

Photomicrograph of Nuts 

in a Squirrel Turd

Draw Pamela Geller #10

The Vituperator

According to the Public Policy Poll, about 75% of 

Rick Perry's supporters believe the Jade Helm 15 

Conspiracy Theory.  Which will happen first:

Obama's Takeover of Texas or the announcement 

of Rick Perry's presidential 

run on June 4?

Isn't Louie Gohmert concerned that 25% of Tea Party

supporters don't believe in the Texas Takeover 

Conspiracy Theory?

Draw Pamela Geller #9

The Carper

Warm Scuzzies #556

Tim Brown

John Diehl Out as Missouri House

Speaker:

Good Widdance to Bad Wubbish!

Jeb Bush Accused of Being 'Pedantic', Is Placed on

'Pedant Watch List'

He was reminded of his insignifcance when he realized he 

had been told only 5 of the '10 Biggest Lies about the 

Trans-Pacific Partnership'.

Warm Scuzzies #555

John Diehl

Draw Pamela Geller #8

The Fishwife

Gosh darnit!  Jeb Bush misheard the question.

When he bashes the President, Senator Paul now uses a 

Barack Obama finger puppet to add a touch of realism to 

his critiques.

"Fiji Water is BOTTLED AT THE SOURCE, 

UNTOUCHED BY MAN™. 

It is EARTH’S FINEST WATER™."

"Tell us again, Mr. Hewitt, how long the Spanish 

Inquisition has been forcing you to sit in the comfy chair."

"Nice fanny pack!"

According to the latest Public Policy Poll, 32% of 

Republicans believe in the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy 

theory, and another 28% haven't yet made up their 

minds whether they believe it or not.  That's 60% of 

the Republican Party who lack the requisite sanity to 

dismiss such a conspiracy theory out of hand.

Warm Scuzzies #554

Charles Perry

"Floyd Mayweather, you're not such a toughie!"

"I admit it:  the terrorists totally terrorize me!"

None is so blind as he who will not see.

Five Takeaways About the Ten Things You

 Should Know about the IMDb List of the 

Top 250 Martial Arts Movies of All Time

American Schutzstaffel #52

As it turned out, the solution to Allen West's anger issues

was really pretty simple.

Der Führer Sez:  "Quite frankly, I like

Godwin's Law.  So long as it remains in

 effect, I will never be forgotten."

"Uncle Buck is persecuting me because I'm a Christian!"

"Knowing what we know now,  Mr. Bush, would you have 

authorized the Iraq invasion?"

"I would have. And if I'm elected President, I will authorize 

the invasion of Iraq for a second--maybe even a third--time."

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #20

A Fire Double Down Maxx

What Allen West at first thought was a collision with 

Sharia Law turned out to be a close encounter with 

Walmart Law.  Nonetheless, he still saw it as another 

ominous sign of Christian persecution.

Like the Terminator, Happy Boy was on a mission to 

neutralize the woman carrying the child who would

someday lead the resistance against the Rise of the 

Happiness Machines.

Draw Pamela Geller #7

The Ogress

Senator Vitter's years as a whoremonger had really taken

 its toll on his face.

Young Lion Reacts to the News about the Cancellation 

of American Idol

Following his successful cancer

surgery, Rob Ford could only

communicate by means of 

hand signals.  One Thumb Up

meant "I'm still alive!"  Two

Thumbs Up meant "Fire up

the crack pipe!"

David Chesley, political director for Rand Paul's New 

Hampshire campaign, has just invented a new perversion. 

 It's called 'Lens Licking'.

You don't have to be crazy to live in Louie Gohmert's 

congressional district, but it sure helps.

Those ISIS fighters training three miles

south of El Paso are so cleverly disguised

no one has yet seen them, except Louie

Gohmert.

Captain Ahab's wife was beginning to get under his skin.

Megyn Kelly Joins the Pamela Geller Sisterhood

Disciples of Edmund Burqa

Is the United States facing a 'Masculinity Crisis'?

Draw Pamela Geller #6

The Hag

Warm Scuzzies #553

Nancy Gordeuk

The Unexpurgated Bible #116

And then Jesus said, "To make sure you rid the world of ISIS, 

you need to bomb it back to 569, the year before Muhammad 

was born."

"I'm not a neophyte.  I'm a dermatophyte!"

"Mistakes were made."

Draw Pamela Geller #5

The Virago