Saturday, December 31, 2016

Things change. It used to be that the opposite of
 true was false. Now the opposite of true is Trump.
"I know, I know, but according to my map, this is the only 
road that leads to 2017."
Dozens Die in Twin Baghdad Bombings, 
America's Mission Still Accomplished
Not since The Kentucky Fried Movie has Rand Paul filled
 the screen with such Pure D dread.
Bonnie and Clyde Death Car Not Included
Headlines We Like to See #9
'Fox News Apologizes for False Numbers in 
Food-Stamp Fraud Report'
"Yes, Buckwheat was homeless. Sad! But we've found 
a place for him in the Trump Administration."
Sign of the Times #71
GOP Outreach
"Russians are playing @CNN and @NBCNews for such 
fools - funny to watch, they don't have a clue! @FoxNews 
totally gets it!"

Friday, December 30, 2016

First in a Series of Trading Cards Celebrating
 the Putin-Trump Nonaggression Pact
It would be helpful to know the relative
Encephalization Quotients of Trump and Putin.
Benjamir Putinyahu Cyborg Makes Debut on Live Television
Suetonius had it all wrong: Julius Caesar wasn't
stabbed to death; he died from lead poisoning.
Warm Scuzzies #719
Mike Yenni
After 60 years of slumber, Joe McCarthy awoke one 
morning to discover the Commies had finally taken 
over---except they called themselves 'The He-Man 
Putin-Lovers Club'.
Fearguth's Rules of Order #64
Don't be the one who brings a Pudding Pop
to a knife fight.
Dank Memes #4
Angel Moroni, Come Blow Your Horn!
Just because you're a paranoid freak, Matt Drudge, doesn't 
mean Ooga Booga's not comin' to getcha! (Heh, heh, heh.)
Are Borscht-and-Stroganoff GOPers Teabagging Putin?
'Mini-Me Says He Hopes for Improved Relations with
 US After His Trump Doll Takes Office'
Vladimir Putin's eyes had gradually grown closer and
closer together until one day . . .
"What you're about to watch in this room is a strange 
and mortal combat between a man and himself, for in 
just a moment, Mr. Donald Trump, whose life has been 
given over to fighting adversaries, will find his most 
formidable opponent in the Oval Office that is in 
reality the outskirts of the Twilight Zone."

Thursday, December 29, 2016

"Which one of you is Jon McNaughton?"
Donald Trump-un
Trent Franks  Data Thieves
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #674
Jon McNaughton
Whiteworld #42
"Remember John Howard Griffin's Black Like Me
Well, my new book is titled White Like Me."
PEOTUS Trump Writing First Draft of Inaugural 
Speech, Says He's Confident It Will Fit Twitter's 
140-Character Limit
Are We There Yet?
"The whole age of computers has made it where nobody, 
especially me, knows exactly what is going on."
Trump to Create New Government Department
"For the ninth year in a row, respondents to a Gallup poll 
ranked Barack Obama as the most admired man in 
America." Trump says the poll was rigged.
PEOTUS Trump Greets the Ambassador of East Wackaloon
"It's all showbiz, folks, showbiz!"
The Two Dons got confused and celebrated Flag Day either 
six months late or six months early.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

To fully appreciate his stand up comedy routine,
Frank Luntz should be viewed in Cinerama.
Have you wondered what the function of Trump's 
long red ties is?  Isn't it obvious?
Chris Corley (R-SC) Now Wanting to Fly 
the Confederate Flag in Jail
"Jerry says that now we're in Hell, I won't need this coat."
"Look! Up in the sky! It’s a bird!"
"It’s a plane!"
"It’s PEOTUS Trump, the Suicide Tweeter!"
World's Worst Yoobs #176
Georgi Boorman
After Little Miss Muffet Was Cured of Arachnophobia
Headlines We Like to See #8
'Here are 10 of Chris Christie’s most humiliating 
moments of 2016'
Of all people, Trent Bennett, an Arkansas Dr. Zaius 
impersonator, should be the last primate to compare
 the Obamas to chimps and monkeys.
Not Rooster Cogburn

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Ben Carson Sez:  "In my role as Secretary
 of Housing and Urban Development,
the Tinkertoy set I got for Christmas
will really come in handy."

Boris Epshteyn, the Drunken Speller, Sez: 
“This is not Woodstock. It’s not Summer Jam.
 It’s not a concert. It’s not about celebrities."
Headlines We Like to See #7
'Alt-Right in Civil War After Prominent Leader
 Disinvited from Pro-Trump DeploraBall’
"If the news doesn't confirm what we already believe,
it's Fake News!"
"Yes, Mr. Paladino, your son despises you so much he
changed his surname to Bracegirdle and got a face