Who Is Really Behind the Egyptian Unrest

Hoser Mubarak Pisses on His People

Sideshow Freaks Escape from Chicago Carnival

"Remember Adam and Eve:  no hyphenated sex,

missionary position only."

If, as Rep. Duncan D. Hunter (R-CA) argues, it is

unconstitutional for the federal government to build

bike paths, because bikes are used for recreation, then

is it unconstitutional for the federal government to

build highways, because they are used by motorhomes,

travel trailers, and other recreational vehicles?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #266

Mark Biltz

"You're not the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, are you?"

Oxymorons for Our Time #83

Timeless Principles

Hot Topic at World Economic Forum:

'The Dictatorship of the Corporatariat'

Jamie Dimon Delivers Furious Tirade Against 'Banker

Bashing' at World Economic Forum, Then Goes to His

Hotel Room and Pouts

Warm Scuzzies #135

Combined Systems International

The Wild One at 72

Flag Desecration #40

"You are exceptional, Mr. Chief Justice!"

"You are, too, Mr. President!"

Ken Ham Denies Eunuch Horns Are Depicted

on Noah's Ark at Creation Museum

"To those of you who are suggesting that castration

helps reindeer handle climate change, I say, 'Up your

ass with a 50-yard pass!'"

World's Worst Yoobs #86

Noemie Emery

"Paul, an insider at Akin Gump tells us that you're now referred

to by your fellow partners as 'Morongoof'.  Would you care to

comment on that?"

Talk of Bipartisan Progress Fading in Arizona

"O Lord, please let it not become widely known that I paid

for my college education with Social Security benefits."

Gorilla Credits Insanity 60-Day Total-Body Conditioning

Program for Improved Posture

Charlie Sheen Hospitalized with Hernia After Laughing Too

Hard at Ruptured Duck Joke

Hawaii May Sell Obama's Birth Records for $100 Each, or

Buy Two, Get One Free 

"Mom, Dad's been sniffing the

bath salts again!"

McDonald's University, more exclusive than Harvard, is where

you learn that Fruit and Maple Oatmeal contains no maple.

Barack Obama's 'Sputnik Moment'

Sarah Palin's 'Spudnut Moment'

Dennis Kucinich, 'America's Most Courageous Congressman',

Sues House Cafeteria for $150,000 for Putting 'America's Most

Dangerous Olive Pit' in His 'America's Most Progressive

Char-Grilled Chicken Wrap'

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #265

Harrison Schmitt

From the Land of 10,000 Lakes

From the Land of 10,000 Laughs

'Negative Discourse'? Is this the same thing as

 Talking Backwards? Is it when you take back

 today something you said yesterday?  Or is it

what happens when you stop talking?

Governor Sanford could see the Appalachian Trail had

changed a lot since he had last hiked it with Maria.

Ayn Rand Before She Started

Receiving Social Security

After

Oxymorons for Our Time #82

Bankers' Contrition

To help reduce the national debt, President Obama is

proposing a new national 'Win the Future' lottery.

"It's one of the new electronic hybrids:  when you get tired of

signing autographs with it, you can smoke it."

When he's not hunting big game, Representative Paul Broun

(R-GA) sits in his office and heckles Barack Obama on Twitter.

He's collecting these and will soon publish them in book form,

with the title, The Courage to Tweet.

Rude Rhymes #45

Screwy Tortilla

Tony Scalia

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #264

Lonnie Napier

Before you laugh at the prospect of Bristol Palin starring in

Dancing on the Radio, just remember that the Edgar Bergen/

Charlie McCarthy ventriloquist act was very popular on the

radio back in the 1930s.

"Attaboy, John!  You made it all the way through the SOTU

and didn't cry once!"

Just as the 'meat' in this Cheesy Beefy Melt contains only

 36% beef, Taco Bell's food isn't even 'Mexican Food'; it's

'Mexican-Inspired Food'.

Have you seen the latest book written by

a recovering couch potato?

Warm Scuzzies #134

Kel-Tec CNC, Inc.

Marie-Catherine Klarkowski is a

Munich dentist whose clientele

includes some of Europe's

finest yodelers.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #263

Dallas Woodhouse

When it came to music, the tiger held very strong opinions

about what it liked and what it didn't like.