Romney Hood Takes Palin's Advice, Goes Rouge

Somebody pretty dumb must've left 

a bag of hammers lying around.

Mitt Romney Sez:  "My campaign doesn't need a turnaround."

[Wheee!] 

Wire Attached to the Base of Ann Romney's Skull Thought to 

Terminate on Planet Ambar, Home of Regional Overlord

 Morgoth Bauglir

ZEGS Booed by AARP

Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #16

Paul Ryan

A Slide from Louie Gohmert's PowerPoint Presentation

on the Obama Administration's Foreign Policy and the 

New Ottoman Empire

Herman Cain is saying that he'd probably have a “substantial

 lead” on President Barack Obama at this point, had he been 

the Republican nominee.  Asked why, Cain replied:  "I have

 some depth to my ideas, like '9-9-9'."

"Sit on this, Mitt Romney, and spin!"

Peggy Noonan describes the Romney campaign as a 

'rolling calamity'.  No, Nooners, THIS is a 'rolling calamity'.

Was it Zelig who appeared on Univision, or had Mitt

Romney fallen asleep on the tanning bed?

"Why is Romney So Disliked?" the headline reads.  Could 

it be because Romney dislikes everybody except himself,

his immediate family, and his überrich friends?

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #424

Bill Armistead

"Today, folks, I'm here to tell you that my badboy has

been 'chickified'!"

"It is time for all Americans to realize ... how lucky 

we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and 

experience and know-how to be able to have the 

opportunity to run America, Inc.”

Deep down, Mitt Romney is a good man---that is, if you

start at the bottoms of his feet and go down from there.

Have you ever wondered what's inside an armored car?

Faith.  Faith in the value of money.  That's all.  An armored 

car is how faith in the value of money moves around from 

place to place.  That's all.

What Hillary Clinton's Attaches Always 

Carry with Them to Poland

Christian Louboutin Very Prive High Heeled Shoes 

($710 the Pair) Claim to Be Whiter than the GOP

In a last-ditch attempt to appeal to Mexican-

American voters, Mitt Romney presented 

himself as a reusable Piñata.

"I want to make perfectly clear there's a huge difference 

between being a Randian, a Randite, and a Libertarian 

with Yellow Jaundice."

The Politico Illustrated #27

"Romney Rescue Plan: More Wonder Woman"

The conservative Club for Cancerous Growths and Other 

Malignancies may target South Carolina Sen. Lindsey 

Graham’s seat in 2014 by supporting a more neoplastic 

primary challenger.

You may be wondering where Tom Piper gets his tongues.

It's really very simple.  First, cats get them, and, second,

he cans them.

Grasshoppers After Prolonged Exposure

 to Psychedelic Music

Guinea Pig Believes It Was Created in the 

Image of God Right After the Maker of 

Heaven and Earth Had Washed Her

Hair and Couldn't Do a Thing with It

Have you seen Tea-Paw Bridgefail's

new book?  It was just published today.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #133

Now that Mitt Romney seems to be 

falling behind, Paul Ryan is reportedly

upping his body fat measurements from

 once to three times a day.

"What can I say, Mr. President?  Bibi Netanyahu, Fox News, 

and Mitt Romney are bound tightly together by what we 

pirates call 'Futtock Shrouds', and you really don't want to 

know what that means."

Even hitchhikers were treated with respect by the

Obama Administration.

Austin Republican Bud Johnson Sez:  “I don’t really 

give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take 

[your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama

 with you. I don’t give a shit. If you don’t like it, don’t 

come down my street.”

[Clint Eastwood should be proud.]

Just to show you how bad income inequality has become

in this country, Bill Gates, worth $66 billion, is at the top

of the Forbes 400 list of the richest people in America,

and Denise York, worth $1.1 billion, is at the bottom.

  This means Mr. Gates is 66 times richer than Ms. 

York, which, you'll have to admit, is both shocking

 and shameful.

Forbes Magazine Publishes New List of

the '400 So-Called Richest People in 

America'

Is it live, or is it a Japandroid?

Wives:  as the trial of Chef David Viens has shown, if 

your husband brings home a pot like this, saying, "I'm

gonna cook up a mess of red beans," don't believe him.

Rick Perry Sez:  “Satan runs across the world with

 his doubt and with his untruths and what have you, and 

one of the untruths out there ... is that people of faith 

should not be involved in the public arena.”

[The guv must be off his meds again.]

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #423

Daryl Metcalfe

Someone needs to remind Mary Matalin that these pubic

 lice are parasites,

not these human beings.

Before Mitt Romney came along, there was 

reason to doubt the possibility of Spontaneous 

Human Combustion.  Now there isn't.

Warm Scuzzies #326

Terry S. Johnson

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #129

The Last Refuge

Mary Matalin Sez:  “There are makers and takers, 

there are producers and there are parasites.” 

[Sounds familiar, doesn't it?]

Clint Eastwood Sez:  "If someone is dumb enough

 to ask me to go to a political convention and say 

something, they're going to have to take what

 they get."

While claiming that what her husband had said in the 

'secret tape' was taken out of context, Ann Romney---

suddenly and without warning---was herself taken out 

of context.

Mitt Romney pressed the Campaign Reset Button, and, 

¡Ay, caramba!, he became a Latino.

Oxymorons for Our Time #136

Gently Panicking

Paul Ryan Sez:  "Mitt was obviously inarticulate in making

 the point about the 47%.  If he had said it in French, it 

would have sounded much better."

"Honestly, do I look politicized?"