Saturday, September 22, 2012

Romney Hood Takes Palin's Advice, Goes Rouge
Somebody pretty dumb must've left 
a bag of hammers lying around.
Mitt Romney Sez:  "My campaign doesn't need a turnaround."
[Wheee!
Wire Attached to the Base of Ann Romney's Skull Thought to 
Terminate on Planet Ambar, Home of Regional Overlord
 Morgoth Bauglir
ZEGS Booed by AARP
Dweebs, Dorks, and Doofuses #16
Paul Ryan
A Slide from Louie Gohmert's PowerPoint Presentation
on the Obama Administration's Foreign Policy and the 
New Ottoman Empire
Herman Cain is saying that he'd probably have a “substantial
 lead” on President Barack Obama at this point, had he been 
the Republican nominee.  Asked why, Cain replied:  "I have
 some depth to my ideas, like '9-9-9'."

Friday, September 21, 2012

"Sit on this, Mitt Romney, and spin!"
Peggy Noonan describes the Romney campaign as a 
'rolling calamity'.  No, Nooners, THIS is a 'rolling calamity'.
Was it Zelig who appeared on Univision, or had Mitt
Romney fallen asleep on the tanning bed?
"Why is Romney So Disliked?" the headline reads.  Could 
it be because Romney dislikes everybody except himself,
his immediate family, and his ├╝berrich friends?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #424
Bill Armistead
"Today, folks, I'm here to tell you that my badboy has
been 'chickified'!"
"It is time for all Americans to realize ... how lucky 
we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and 
experience and know-how to be able to have the 
opportunity to run America, Inc.”
Deep down, Mitt Romney is a good man---that is, if you
start at the bottoms of his feet and go down from there.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Have you ever wondered what's inside an armored car?
Faith.  Faith in the value of money.  That's all.  An armored 
car is how faith in the value of money moves around from 
place to place.  That's all.
What Hillary Clinton's Attaches Always 
Carry with Them to Poland
Christian Louboutin Very Prive High Heeled Shoes 
($710 the Pair) Claim to Be Whiter than the GOP
In a last-ditch attempt to appeal to Mexican-
American voters, Mitt Romney presented 
himself as a reusable Pi├▒ata.

"I want to make perfectly clear there's a huge difference 
between being a Randian, a Randite, and a Libertarian 
with Yellow Jaundice."
The Politico Illustrated #27
"Romney Rescue Plan: More Wonder Woman"
The conservative Club for Cancerous Growths and Other 
Malignancies may target South Carolina Sen. Lindsey 
Graham’s seat in 2014 by supporting a more neoplastic 
primary challenger.
You may be wondering where Tom Piper gets his tongues.
It's really very simple.  First, cats get them, and, second,
he cans them.
Grasshoppers After Prolonged Exposure
 to Psychedelic Music
Guinea Pig Believes It Was Created in the 
Image of God Right After the Maker of 
Heaven and Earth Had Washed Her
Hair and Couldn't Do a Thing with It
Have you seen Tea-Paw Bridgefail's
new book?  It was just published today.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #133
Now that Mitt Romney seems to be 
falling behind, Paul Ryan is reportedly
upping his body fat measurements from
 once to three times a day.
"What can I say, Mr. President?  Bibi Netanyahu, Fox News, 
and Mitt Romney are bound tightly together by what we 
pirates call 'Futtock Shrouds', and you really don't want to 
know what that means."
Even hitchhikers were treated with respect by the
Obama Administration.
Austin Republican Bud Johnson Sez:  “I don’t really 
give a damn whether it disturbs you or not. You can take 
[your concerns] and go straight to hell and take Obama
 with you. I don’t give a shit. If you don’t like it, don’t 
come down my street.”
[Clint Eastwood should be proud.]
Just to show you how bad income inequality has become
in this country, Bill Gates, worth $66 billion, is at the top
of the Forbes 400 list of the richest people in America,
and Denise York, worth $1.1 billion, is at the bottom.
  This means Mr. Gates is 66 times richer than Ms. 
York, which, you'll have to admit, is both shocking
 and shameful.
Forbes Magazine Publishes New List of
the '400 So-Called Richest People in 
America'
Is it live, or is it a Japandroid?
Wives:  as the trial of Chef David Viens has shown, if 
your husband brings home a pot like this, saying, "I'm
gonna cook up a mess of red beans," don't believe him.
Rick Perry Sez:  “Satan runs across the world with
 his doubt and with his untruths and what have you, and 
one of the untruths out there ... is that people of faith 
should not be involved in the public arena.”
[The guv must be off his meds again.]
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #423
Daryl Metcalfe

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Someone needs to remind Mary Matalin that these pubic
 lice are parasites,
not these human beings.
Before Mitt Romney came along, there was 
reason to doubt the possibility of Spontaneous 
Human Combustion.  Now there isn't.
Warm Scuzzies #326
Terry S. Johnson
Rightbloggers and Other 
Internet Biohazards #129
The Last Refuge
Mary Matalin Sez:  “There are makers and takers, 
there are producers and there are parasites.” 
[Sounds familiar, doesn't it?]
Clint Eastwood Sez:  "If someone is dumb enough
 to ask me to go to a political convention and say 
something, they're going to have to take what
 they get."
While claiming that what her husband had said in the 
'secret tape' was taken out of context, Ann Romney---
suddenly and without warning---was herself taken out 
of context.
Mitt Romney pressed the Campaign Reset Button, and, 
¡Ay, caramba!, he became a Latino.
Oxymorons for Our Time #136
Gently Panicking
Paul Ryan Sez:  "Mitt was obviously inarticulate in making
 the point about the 47%.  If he had said it in French, it 
would have sounded much better."

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

"Honestly, do I look politicized?"