Hearting While Intoxicated T-Shirt

Selling Like Hotcakes

The Potrzebie Prize #23

Officer Matt Pappert Lauded for Knowing How to

Use Facebook to Put Down Rabid Dogs

Colorado Hunter Posing with 

Ancestor's Skull

Rich Lowry Sez:  "The next time I hear a Republican 

strategist or a Republican politician say that there are 

jobs that Americans won't do, that person should be 

shot, he should be hanged, he should be wrapped in 

a carpet and thrown in the Potomac River.  You know 

that's what they did to Rasputin, I think it was a 

different river. But let me tell you, it worked."

[What he thinks should be done to Democrats

who say the same thing is NSFW.]

Can Governor Perry bend steel in his bare hands?

There's one way to find out.

Two-Minute Haters #43

Dan Page

Pentagon Says No Evidence of ISIS 

Under Rick Perry's Bed

Rand Paul Looking for Indictment Opportunity 

to Get Back in the Running for the Republican 

Presidential Nomination, Says He Already Has

 a 'Great Mugshot'

Little Known Fact #55

Kevin Sorbo can entertain himself for up to an hour

with nothing more than a fly swatter.

"Stop calling me a 'Racist', dammit!  I'm a 'Self-Righteous

White Supremacist'!"

Warm Scuzzies #500

Kim Tihen

Aromatherapy Gone Bad

Take This Pill for the 10 Things You Need to Know Today

"I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air."

"Why did you post racist images on your Facebook

page, Councilman Tinsley?"

"I was a very active Republican."

"Ya know, Bernie, if you shaved off your eyebrows, you

wouldn't have a single hair on your head."

Ray Albers Sez:  "I’m going to fucking 

protect and serve the shit out of you!”

Mugshot of Michael Zona, the Chicken-Suited New 

Hampshire Republican Arrested for Flapping and 

Clucking at Dems

Officer Go Fuck Yourself, Said to Be One of

Missouri's Finest, Relieved of Duty and 

Suspended Indefinitely

"You can't solve it with a dialogue. You can't solve it with a 

summit. You solve it with a bullet to the head. It's the only

 thing these Muslims understand.  God, this drumette is 

delectable!"

Warm Scuzzies #499

Sunil Dutta

Whiteworld #21

Peter Kinder's Election as Lt. Governor of Missouri Viewed as 

"One of the Great Advances of Anglo-American Civilization"

Forced to remove his horn-rimmed glasses disguise

 for his mugshot, it was easy to see that Clark Kent 

was really Superman.

"What's that?"

"It's a Steampunk Twitter Sub-Tweeter."

"Oh, yeah, I heard someone say something

about that on NPR just the other day."

Sign of the Times #59

Could be worse.  Could be

Bugs Bunny watching you.

Michael Baden Sez:  "Traces of marijuana in Michael Brown's

 system may have made him do crazy things.  I know it makes

 me say crazy things."

Can you imagine a more appropriate mugshot of the

Governor of Texas than this?

That night, it was unclear whether Fearguth had accepted 

the Pinhead Challenge, the Buckethead Challenge, or both.

We have now learned that Anakin Skywalker was originally

Officer Friendly.  That was before the militarization of the 

police turned him into Darth Vader.

'Designated Media Area' in Ferguson, Missouri

World's Worst Yobs #311

Eddie Scarry

It's good to know that Combined Tactical Systems of 

Jamestown, Pennsylvania, is getting rich off the fiasco

in Ferguson, Missouri.

"Call me Sergeant Schultz one more time and I'll blow

your brains out!"

Warm Scuzzies #498

Center for Strategic and International Studies

"USA!  USA!  USA!"

If you want to find out what it's like to live where it's

'Open Carry Day' every day, move to Ferguson.

No, no, no, Ferguson Police Department!  It's Freedom to

 Assemble, not Freedom to Dissemble!

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #175

Ben Howe and Donald Rumsfeld

"What's it like, Mr. Gregory, to get paid $4 million to

not meet the press?"

Two-Minute Haters #42

Russell Sysack and Nancy Sysack

How many times does a cop have to shoot an 

unarmed teenager before murder occurs?

The Ferguson, Missouri, motto is:  Proud Past. Promising

 Future.  It may need to be revised.

When Wearing Hoods Would Be Aesthetically Advantageous

Meet the Press Says Goodbye to David Gregory 

Bill Cowan Sez:  "When I see an Obama sticker go by in 

a car, I've never had anger like that in my life. I want to 

run 'em off the road.  I don't care if it's a woman."

Thomas Jackson Sez:  "Congratulations,

Officer Darren Wilson, for putting

Ferguson, Missouri, on the map!"

Rude Rhymes #80

Briny Swisher

Bryan Fischer

If Governor Perry wiggles out of having his mugshot taken, 

perhaps his understudy's could be used as a substitute.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #590

Jesse Lee Peterson