Warm Scuzzies #138

Robert Silberman

If Lloyd Marcus Were a Cookie

"OK, after we finish constructing this catapult, we'll build the

Trojan Camel next."

The federal government is telling the light bulb industry their

products need to be more efficient. But, alas, some dim bulbs,

like Thaddeus McCotter (R-MI), simply aren't capable

of increased efficiency.

Vatican Says Pope Benedict Can't Donate His Wurlitzer

"I'm not a lycanthrope, but I am a Rabid Wolf Spider."

"We're not all Egyptians.  Some

of us are lycanthropes."

World's Worst Jobs #117

Egyptian Vice-President's Bodyguard

National Enquirer Probes John Boehner's Adulterous Boners

Bristol Palin Debuts New Spring Line of Bazookas for Boys

Bobby Franklin, leader of Georgia's notorious 'Honky

Gangstas', has introduced legislation to repeal all laws

he doesn't like, which is pretty much the same as all laws.

Reagan Hologram Jumps into 2012 Presidential Race

King James I Commends Fox News for 

Preferring His 'Authorized' Version of

the Bible over the 'Heretical' NIV

Used by Barack Obama

Deadhead

Spreadhead

Breadhead

Justice Thomas’s Wife Ginni Now Either a Lobby Hobbyist

or a Hobby Lobbyist

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #268

Bob Vander Plaats

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #87

Grasstops USA

Beck's Third Law of Teevee

For every drop in ratings, there is an equal

 and opposite increase in the Crazy.

Need a title to make you feel more significant? How about

'White House Correspondent for Bildungblog'?

When he heard John Boehner described as

'ruggedly handsome', he wept.

Sarah Palin Trademarks Name, Introduces

 New Line of North Country Foods

Descendant of Rocky the Flying Squirrel Takes

Strong Exception to the Expression,

'Nuttier Than a Squirrel Turd'

"Walking in a Winter Wonderland"

Thomas Euteneuer, Author of Sexorcism and the Church

Militant and World Authority on the Laying On of Hands,

"Violates the Boundaries of Chastity" Without Involving

"the Sexual Act," Resigns from Human Life International

Oxymorons for Our Time #84

Senate Ethics Committee

It's the Year of the Wiwwy Warge Wascal Wabbit.

"The word on the street, Mr. 'So-Called' Gaffney, is that you

aren't the real Frank Gaffney, and that you're a member of

the Muslim Brotherhood."

Warm Scuzzies #137

Roger Vinson

We now know why there are tides, why

there is a moon, and why Bill O'Reilly

is on Fox News:  GOD DID IT!

"Is this a pistil or a stamen?  Jesus, why can't I remember the 

difference between the male and female parts of a flower?

You'd think I'd know by now!"

"As you can see, ladies and gentlemen, my circles and verticals

are better than my horizontals and diagonals. I've been told 

this is because I write with my left hand, instead of my right."

There's only one sure-fire method for not killing yourself

while shoveling snow:  STOP SHOVELING!

"Please turn in your hymnbooks to number 306.  Let us all

now stand and sing, 'Trust and Obey'."

Is Barack Obama already on the fast-track to sainthood?

"Representative Wimmer, nineteenth-century phrenologists

 could only dream of studying a head like yours."

"Why, thank you, thank you very much!"

It's been 92 days since the election,

and Carl Paladino is still undead.

President Mubarak Launches New Camel Jockey

Diplomatic Initiative to Calm Egyptian Unrest

John McCain Wants to Be Loved Again

Johnny Depp says until he makes more

money than he did last year--a paltry

$100 million--he will continue to dress

like Ken Shabby.

Without fear and paranoia, Rand Paul

wouldn't be jack shit. 

Curbside Busker Kicks Off 

Tea Party Fundraiser

Muslim Brotherhood Migrating from North Africa to Iran,

Taking Egypt with It

World's Worst Yoobs #88

Lila Rose

Borders Borders on Bankruptcy

Pet Cobra Looking for New Owner

Small Rodent Sleeps Through Punxsutawney

Phil's Weather Forecast

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #47

The Adventures of Gonzo the Amnesiac

in Mortgage-Fraud Land

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #46

Six Degrees of Suppuration