World's Worst Yobs #237

Charlie Hurt

Newton Leroy, Master of Gingrich Hall and the Oldest

Surviving Member of South Carolina's Antebellum

Plantation Aristocracy

"What' that?"

"It's where young Kentuckians will be going for

their 'higher education' in the near future."

Rush Limbaugh as a Boy

But there isn't a racist bone in Haley Barbour's body.

Top 5 'Koch Addicts'

in the U. S. Senate

 Tom Coburn (R-OK)  $56,300 

 Mike Crapo (R-ID) $42,000
Marco Rubio (R-FL) $34,700
Ron Johnson (R-WI) $27,900
 Orrin Hatch (R-UT) $26,500

Rude Rhymes #56

Nod Squad

Chuck Todd

Will The Dead Kenny G's be invited to play when Lyndie and

Kenny Gorelick move to Splitsville?

Tommy Manville Sez:  "I was married 13 times

to 11 different women.  Top that, Newt Gingrich

and Rush Limbaugh!"

With 700 wives and 300 concubines, King Solomon would

seem to be the ideal presidential candidate for today's

Republican Party.

Mitch Daniels is scheduled to give the GOP's response to

President Obama's State of the Union Address, followed by

Herman Cain's Tea Party response and Gilbert Gottfried's

AFLAC Duck response.

North Koreans React to Newt Gingrich's Mistreatment

of John King

Rush Limbaugh Sez:  "Everybody has an angry ex-spouse. 

But I'm so rich, I can afford to have three of them!"

"You know, of course, Governor Perry, that you dropped out

of the presidential race on January 19, when we Texans

celebrate Confederate Heroes Day."

"Thank you, O Lord, for telling me that I have

 no viable path forward and that it's time for me

to make a strategic retreat."

A new study has found that gossip, such as, "Scott Walker

 is actually a goggle-eyed homunculus," is good for you.

It's a good thing she's a woman, because

Gretchen Carlson would be an ugly man.

Cruise Captain Says He 'Tripped' into Lifeboat, Couldn't

 Get Out; Still Hasn't Explained Why He Was Wearing a

Dress at the Time

"Get outta here, Aggie loser!"

said Walker, Texas Ranger.

It's good to see that Ronald McDonald's wife believes

 in breastfeeding.

"Yes, I'm a Dik-Dik, but it's not my fault."

"We Duocorns get no respect."

"You just wait, you sanctimonious bastard!"

thought Marianne.  "One of these days I'm

going to crush your nuts on national TV!"

"Gee!  This must be the island where Mitt Romney

stashes some of his millions."

Why do you always see just one Bootmobile

by the side of the road?

Let's be fair: if, like Mitt Romney, you were

worth $250 million, then $374,000 in speaking

 fees would be 'not very much'. Everything's

relative, ya know.

SOPA-PIPA:  a Dessert Even La Cucaracha Won't Eat

And they're called SOPA and PIPA.  See you tomorrow!

"You've probably heard of the 'Great Books of the

Western World', right?  Well, here they are.  And,

by the way, this is really my hat.  Like all authors,
I have an unusually big head."

"Hi, I'm Paula Deen! I used to make you salivate for

Confederate Comfort Food. But now that those recipes

have given me diabetes, God has opened the door for me

to shill for Victoza, the diabetes medication I'm now

taking, miraculously brought to Earth by Nova Nordisk!"

Still Life with Butcher and Seven Ex-Attention Hogs

"Everywhere Jesus goes," thought Willard, "we hear him 

saying, 'Woe unto  millionaires and billionaires and

executives and Wall Street'.  It's a very envy-oriented,

attack-oriented approach that must be stopped. 

Crucifixion ought to work." 

If you can't remember when Michele Bachmann last waved

 a $20-dollar bill in front of an audience, you obviously

haven't been paying close enough attention. If, on the

other hand, you can't even remember Michele Bachmann,

good for you!

"Help!  Help!  Help!" Mickey yelled.  "I'm trapped

in KausFiles and can't get out!"

Megyn Kelly, 'Actual Journalist'

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #132

Scott Ott, Bill Whittle, and Stephen Green

World's Worst Yobs #236

Arthur Brisbane

"Is it just me, Professor Reynolds, or have your lips become

rather more 'liverish'-looking lately?"

When Fox News' Juan Williams was booed by a white

audience in South Carolina on MLK's birthday last night,

you could almost hear John Lennon singing 'Instant Karma'.

Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal Lecter's Camel

"Newt, I bet $10,000 you don't know that camel

wrestling is very popular in Turkey."

Seen on a Bumper in South Carolina

The latest ABC/Washington Post poll shows that

only 13% of Americans approve of the job Congress

 is doing, while 84% disapprove. Keep in mind that

468 members of this Congress---all 435 in the

House and 33 in the Senate---were elected in

2010, when only 41% of eligible voters

approved of Congress enough to even cast

a ballot. In other words, 59% of eligible voters

 disapproved of this Congress from the get-go.

And it has been all downhill from there.

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here

Tarzan and Jane couldn't believe their eyes, but, just as

 had been prophesied, Cheetah had arisen from the dead.

 God, apparently, had at least one more sequel in mind.

Some paleontologists interpret these fossil remains to

mean 'the dinosaur was overweight'.  Others would

say, "No, the dinosaur was just big-boned."

On this day, we remember Martin Luther

 King, Jr.'s dream. 

Republican Governor Haley Barbour pardoned 208

criminals – murderers on down – on his last day

in office.  And then he laughed out loud at all the

Mississippi rubes who had ever voted for him.