Saturday, January 21, 2012

World's Worst Yobs #237
Charlie Hurt
Newton Leroy, Master of Gingrich Hall and the Oldest
Surviving Member of South Carolina's Antebellum
Plantation Aristocracy
"What' that?"
"It's where young Kentuckians will be going for
their 'higher education' in the near future."
Rush Limbaugh as a Boy
But there isn't a racist bone in Haley Barbour's body.
Top 5 'Koch Addicts'
in the U. S. Senate

 Tom Coburn (R-OK)  $56,300 
 Mike Crapo (R-ID) $42,000
Marco Rubio (R-FL) $34,700
Ron Johnson (R-WI) $27,900
 Orrin Hatch (R-UT) $26,500

Friday, January 20, 2012

Rude Rhymes #56

Nod Squad

Chuck Todd
Will The Dead Kenny G's be invited to play when Lyndie and
Kenny Gorelick move to Splitsville?
Tommy Manville Sez:  "I was married 13 times
to 11 different women.  Top that, Newt Gingrich
and Rush Limbaugh!"
With 700 wives and 300 concubines, King Solomon would
seem to be the ideal presidential candidate for today's
Republican Party.
Mitch Daniels is scheduled to give the GOP's response to
President Obama's State of the Union Address, followed by
Herman Cain's Tea Party response and Gilbert Gottfried's
AFLAC Duck response.
North Koreans React to Newt Gingrich's Mistreatment
of John King

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Rush Limbaugh Sez:  "Everybody has an angry ex-spouse. 
But I'm so rich, I can afford to have three of them!"
"You know, of course, Governor Perry, that you dropped out
of the presidential race on January 19, when we Texans
celebrate Confederate Heroes Day."
"Thank you, O Lord, for telling me that I have
 no viable path forward and that it's time for me
to make a strategic retreat."
A new study has found that gossip, such as, "Scott Walker
 is actually a goggle-eyed homunculus," is good for you.
It's a good thing she's a woman, because
Gretchen Carlson would be an ugly man.
Cruise Captain Says He 'Tripped' into Lifeboat, Couldn't
 Get Out; Still Hasn't Explained Why He Was Wearing a
Dress at the Time
"Get outta here, Aggie loser!"
said Walker, Texas Ranger.
It's good to see that Ronald McDonald's wife believes
 in breastfeeding.
"Yes, I'm a Dik-Dik, but it's not my fault."
"We Duocorns get no respect."
"You just wait, you sanctimonious bastard!"
thought Marianne.  "One of these days I'm
going to crush your nuts on national TV!"
"Gee!  This must be the island where Mitt Romney
stashes some of his millions."
Why do you always see just one Bootmobile
by the side of the road?
Let's be fair: if, like Mitt Romney, you were
worth $250 million, then $374,000 in speaking
 fees would be 'not very much'. Everything's
relative, ya know.
SOPA-PIPA:  a Dessert Even La Cucaracha Won't Eat

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

And they're called SOPA and PIPA.  See you tomorrow!

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

"You've probably heard of the 'Great Books of the
Western World', right?  Well, here they are.  And,
by the way, this is really my hat.  Like all authors,
I have an unusually big head."
"Hi, I'm Paula Deen! I used to make you salivate for
Confederate Comfort Food. But now that those recipes
have given me diabetes, God has opened the door for me
to shill for Victoza, the diabetes medication I'm now
taking, miraculously brought to Earth by Nova Nordisk!"
Still Life with Butcher and Seven Ex-Attention Hogs
"Everywhere Jesus goes," thought Willard, "we hear him 
saying, 'Woe unto  millionaires and billionaires and
executives and Wall Street'.  It's a very envy-oriented,
attack-oriented approach that must be stopped. 
Crucifixion ought to work." 
If you can't remember when Michele Bachmann last waved
 a $20-dollar bill in front of an audience, you obviously
haven't been paying close enough attention. If, on the
other hand, you can't even remember Michele Bachmann,
good for you!
"Help!  Help!  Help!" Mickey yelled.  "I'm trapped
in KausFiles and can't get out!"
Megyn Kelly, 'Actual Journalist'
Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #132
Scott Ott, Bill Whittle, and Stephen Green
World's Worst Yobs #236
Arthur Brisbane
"Is it just me, Professor Reynolds, or have your lips become
rather more 'liverish'-looking lately?"
When Fox News' Juan Williams was booed by a white
audience in South Carolina on MLK's birthday last night,
you could almost hear John Lennon singing 'Instant Karma'.
Hannibal Lecter

Hannibal Lecter's Camel
"Newt, I bet $10,000 you don't know that camel
wrestling is very popular in Turkey."
Seen on a Bumper in South Carolina
The latest ABC/Washington Post poll shows that
only 13% of Americans approve of the job Congress
 is doing, while 84% disapprove. Keep in mind that
468 members of this Congress---all 435 in the
House and 33 in the Senate---were elected in
2010, when only 41% of eligible voters
approved of Congress enough to even cast
a ballot. In other words, 59% of eligible voters
 disapproved of this Congress from the get-go.
And it has been all downhill from there.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here
Tarzan and Jane couldn't believe their eyes, but, just as
 had been prophesied, Cheetah had arisen from the dead.
 God, apparently, had at least one more sequel in mind.
Some paleontologists interpret these fossil remains to
mean 'the dinosaur was overweight'.  Others would
say, "No, the dinosaur was just big-boned."
On this day, we remember Martin Luther
 King, Jr.'s dream. 
Republican Governor Haley Barbour pardoned 208
criminals – murderers on down – on his last day
in office.  And then he laughed out loud at all the
Mississippi rubes who had ever voted for him.