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Bildungblog
Saturday, December 01, 2012
Breaking News Mashups #4
"GOP Says No to Rice But Loves 60-Day Bread"
"Everybody has an opinion on global warming, you know,
and I, you know, I probably don’t believe that it’s man-
made.
I believe that, you know, that weather elements
are
controlled maybe by different things, like Gila
monsters and night crawlers."
"As you can see, Mitt, the Presidential Seal Rug really
ties this room together."
Hemmer & Hawer
Schopenhauerean Gets Chilly Reception at
Local Optimist Club
Friday, November 30, 2012
Republican Party Best Seller
Think of it: you may never have to gaze upon the
funereal visage of Tagg Romney ever again!
There's a reason why your stomach
sometimes churns at night while you're
trying to sleep.
News Reaches the Philippines That 36 Republicans
(and Counting) Have
Abandoned Norquist
Virus Goes Viral, Says, "What Did You Expect Me to Do?
Go Ask Alice When She's Ten Feet Tall?"
Republican House Leadership Chooses Candice
'New
Broom'
Miller
to Chair Housekeeping Committee
"Believe me, if I had my druthers, I would have
been born a Chilehead. But, you know, John
Calvin got his way, and so here I am, a pre-
destinated Potatohead."
Libyan Rebel Awakes from Nightmare in Which Louie
Gohmert Claimed Barack Obama Deposed Muammar
Gaddafi at the Behest of Al-Qaida
"What, me worry? Don't be ridonkulous! I have a
Furshlugginer Potrzebie of political capital to spend!"
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #135
"Don't start the revolution without me!"
Little Known Fact #32
'Up Against the Wall, Redneck Mother' is not
Richard Mourdock's favorite song.
Sign of the Times #32
RINO Pretender
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #444
Thomas Lifson
"But, Your Excellency, Westminster Abbey is
not
for sale."
"Pish-posh, Very Reverend Dr. John Hall, in this world,
EVERYTHING is for sale!"
Greedheads Galore #30
Bob Perry
"Yes, Vladimir Putin, I hang with Pussy Riot.
And
if you had a 'moral foundation', I
would undermine
it!"
Mr. Clean
Squeaky, His Son
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Kuratas, Successor to ED-209, Challenges
RoboCop to Duel
Warm Scuzzies #348
Gregory Rayburn
"The Obama Administration sent planes and bombs
and
support to oust Qaddafi so that al-Qaeda and
the
Muslim Brotherhood could take over Libya
and
jumpstart a new Automobile Empire in the
Middle East."
Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #76
The Land Orthodontists Forgot
Kim Jong-Un Denies Chinese Newspaper Punked
by
The Onion
, Says He Really Did Receive 'Sexiest
Man Alive' Award
Ivanka Trump Denies Story about Family
Feud
over
Obama-Bashing, Says "We Kids Are Just
as
Nuts as Dear Old Dad"
House Republican Committee Chairs All White, All Male,
All the Time
Can you believe Rick Perry is going to make us
wait until next July before he announces his
'future political plans'?
Pastor Warren Sez
: "And hate is never of God, never."
The Bible Sez
: "Because the LORD was not able to
bring
them into the land which he promised them, and
because he hated them, he hath brought them
out to
slay them in the wilderness."
[
The more people study the Bible, the more people
will lose their faith.
]
Glenn Beck Interrupts Chalk Talk to Demonstrate
the
Specific Gravity of His Urine
David Petraeus Sez: "I screwed up royally."
[
Not only 'up', but also Paula Broadwell.
]
Congratulations! Mitt Romney narrowly defeated you
for the top slot on
GQ
's list of the 25 'Least Influential
People of 2012'.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Warm Scuzzies #347
Stacie Laughton
Obama, Romney to Have Private Foodfight Thursday
"Piers, sometimes I get angry and I feel like punching a
guy
in the nose. It doesn’t mean I act on it, unless he's gay."
Buffett Backs Dimon for Mayor of Margaritaville
At the root of the theory of American Exceptionalism
is the practice of Star-Spangled Perception.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #443
Sheryl Nuxoll
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Elsie the Cow Spilled Milk Riot Now in Its Third Day
“Boehner, Boehner, don’t be a dick,
budget cuts will make us sick.”
“The Republicans are in a shocking
amount of disarray right now.”
Rick Santorum Sez: “I’m open to a 2016 run for
President, yeah.
I think there’s a fight right now
as
to what the soul of the Republican Party’s
going to be and who gets the wingnut welfare,
and we have something to say about that."
[
Bring on the froth!
]
Eisenhower Romancing His Driver
"You know how to whistle, don't you?
You
just put your lips together and ... blow"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #442
Millie Hallow
"Hell yes, I've got milk!"
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