Saturday, February 12, 2011

Warm Scuzzies #142
Hunton & Williams
"Oh, it would be fantabulosa, if it weren't
so darned unconstitutional!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #272
Lee Bright
Governor Perry's Big Hair Gets Less
Than 1% in CPAC Straw Poll
The New Red Menace

The Old Red Menace
Ronald Reagan 'Forever' Stamp Said to Be Losing Touch
with Reality TV, Beginning to Forget What It's Worth
Nap Nanny for Baby Camelopards
If you shouted, 'Hello!' up John Barrasso's nose at CPAC,
there was a three-second delay before you heard an echo.

Phantom of the Opera

Phantom of the CPAC
CPAC Drives Pro-Pot Legalization Libertarian
From Stage with Country & Western Music
The challenge facing Maine's Tea Party was to choose a
candidate who is uglier than the Republican incumbent.

It succeeded.

Friday, February 11, 2011

CPAC Ain't Over 'Til the Fat Lady Eats
Georgia Tea Partier Given Eight Years in Prison to
Figure Out How to Reduce Government Spending
Sarah Palin Impersonator Punks Pajamas TV and CPACers,
Quits Half Way Through Interview
"Michele Bachmann says she believes in
the three-legged stool.  That's not enough,
ladies and gentlemen!  You must believe
in the four-legged stool!"
"And you want to call me crazy? Go to hell!
Call me crazy all you want!"
"I believe in the three-legged stool!"
"I see . . . . . TEABAGGERS!"
Full-Spectrum Insecticide

Full-Spectrum Menticide

Thursday, February 10, 2011

GOP Proposes 'Massive' $58 Billion Cut in Federal Budget
('Massive' = 4/10ths of One Percent of the Total Budget)
"I like Ron Paul, but he has no chance of getting elected. 
I, on the other hand, am well acquainted with winning."
"Oh, sure, I've heard of Christopher Lee.  He
played the monster in The Curse of Frankenstein,
as I recall.  Why do you ask?"
Pennsylvania Man Erects 25-Foot Lighted Cross in His Yard
to Fend Off Atheistic Vampires
Ackerman Maneuver in Three Easy Steps
1. Open Your Big Fat Mouth.
2.  Get a Muslim Brotherhood/Jeffrey Dahmer
Analogy Stuck in Your Windpipe.
3.  Gesture Wildly, Trying to Persuade Someone
to Perform the Heimlich Maneuver. 
Chris Lee Challenges David Vitter and
John Ensign to a Bicep-for-Bicep,
Pec-for-Pec Shirtless Matchup
"Beg pardon, but could you direct me to the
nearest Lactation Room?"
Senator Mike Lee (R-UT) says the only
Constitution that can pass the smell test
is the King James Version.
"Hey, where do you want me to put this
flag-covered coffin?"
"I don't care what Sarah Palin says, you big ol'
knuckle-dragging Neanderthal, gimme a kiss!"
Kissing a girl who doesn't smoke is like
licking a non-smoking ashtray.
"Abortion as a 'wedge issue' is working better today
than it has for years.  This is keeping partisans on
both sides of the issue from ever joining forces and
focusing on common goals and interests that would
work to our disadvantage.  So, let's go fan the
flames of the abortion controversy one more
time, shall we?"
Magical Depressionism #19
All 500 of Activision's Guitar Heroes Laid Off
The mere thought of John Boehner brought tears to his eyes.
The gomer from Iowa was flummoxed when someone asked
to see his Christian I.D.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Warm Scuzzies #141
Chris Lee
If more guns = less crime, how many more guns is it going to 
take before America is crime-free?
Julia Hurley, Tennessee Republican State Representative, 
Sez:  "My Hooters Career Got Me Where I Am Today!"
Another Reason for Online Newspapers:
You Don't Have to Search for Them
in the Snow!
Kristol the Frog to Beck the Frog:  "This here lily pad ain't
big enough for the both of us!"
Governor Tin-Cup Dismisses $27-Billion-Budget-Deficit
Will Bristol Palin become the first unwed mother and high-
school dropout to become President of the United States?
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #271
Scott Beason

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

"Would you smile if people kept confusing you with Bozo?"
Politician's-Eye View of Lobbyists
Right Takes Refuge in Constitution, Will Soon Be Featured
in New Reality TV Show, We the Imbeciles
"Applejack I've heard of, but can't say I've ever heard of