Saturday, July 11, 2015

Is this the 'Trump of God' the Apostle Paul 
talked about?
Have you Trumped Your Cat yet?

Jeb Bush has criticized Barack Obama, Hillary 
Clinton, and John Kerry for using what he calls
'big syllable words'.  There are seven of these
in English, all beginning with the letter 's' and
all nine letters long.
"I swear to God, the next person who calls me 'Lurch'
I will fold, spindle, and mutilate!"
The Unexpurgated Bible #118
"Now as John McCain met with reporters on Capitol Hill, 
suddenly a light from Heaven flashed about him. And he 
heard a voice saying to him, 'John, John, why are you 
such a putz?'"
Even Captain Marvel was no match for this Scorpion.
Think of Jan Brewer as Donald Trump
without the dashing good looks and
charm.

Friday, July 10, 2015

The Second Coming of Andrew Breitbart
He had always dreamed of putting 'Licensed Texas
Alligator Wrangler' on his résumé.
So long as the media are corporate profit 
centers, Donald Trump will not only be 
possible; he will be probable.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

I Remember Dubya #67
Dubya may no longer be the Commander-
in-Chief, but he's still the Grifter-in-Chief.
The GOP isn't so much a political party anymore as
 it is a fragmentation grenade after Donald Trump 
pulled the pin.
The Oklahoma governor's theme song is 
'Please Help Me I'm Fallin'.
Few people realize how many hours you have to work to be
born into a wealthy family. Just ask Jeb Bush.
Jeb Bush Sez: "People should work
longer hours like I do."
Ariana Grande: Singer, Actor, Donut-Licker
'Religious Freedom' is the Swiss Army Knife of discrimination.  
It can be used to discriminate against anyone in anyplace at 
anytime.
Little Tough Guy Sez: “If you’re war weary, 
don’t vote for me.”
Obama Administration Revives Plan to Create
Universal Death Panel
Warm Scuzzies #570
Allen McConnell
Pope Francis Drinks Coca Leaf Tea, Starts Singing
'Things Go Better with Coke'

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

Maine Governor Fat Bastard Denies Losing His Veto 
Pen, Then Finding It Under One of His Titties
"Mission Control, please be informed there's a gomer-shaped 
object that has penetrated our airspace. It's the darndest thing 
we've ever seen!"
Gays Accused of Stealing California Rainbow from God
Warm Scuzzies #569
Marion County, Florida
Miraculous Image of Bobby Jindal on Wheat Toast
Gets No Bids on eBay
Q: Why did the squirrel cross the road?
A: Actually, the squirrel didn't cross the road.  
It stopped in the middle and got run over.

Tuesday, July 07, 2015

According to The Onion, Donald Trump says his cows are 
500 times bigger than those in Iowa. He's exaggerating, of 
course, but not by much.
Tricky Dicky Goat Sez: "I am NOT a bearded ruminant!"
Even Donald Trump's hair is looking whupped these days.

Monday, July 06, 2015

The End Times have lasted since Jesus ascended into Heaven 
and promised to return to Earth ándale pronto.  That's over 
2,000 years.  So, instead of using AD or CE to denote our
era, why not ET?
Daughter of the Confederacy
Even Donald Trump now admits his anti-Mexican
 immigrant comments were bad for his brand.
The Unexpurgated Bible #117
"And when Lee Bright had cried with a loud voice, he said, 
'Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit': and having
said thus, gave up the ghost."
Poultry Expected to Boycott National Fried
Chicken Day
Physical Cliff
Job!
Area Man Wins Two Darwin Awards for Launching 
Fireworks from the Top of His Head While Jumping into 
an Alligator Pond
"I'm more likely to be killed by a Mexican than by
a shark."
What to Wear If You're a Squeezebox
Smuggler
Mike Huckabee Does His Doctor
Joyce Brothers Impression
Ted Cruz Salutes Donald Trump
What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #23
A Donald Trump Caterpillar
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #634
David Simpson

Sunday, July 05, 2015

"Now you understand, girls, why they're called
Crazy Creek chairs."
Amazonian Flannel Moth Challenges Donald Trump 
to 30-Minute, Two Out of Three Falls, Comb-Off

"Our task as Republicans is to say essentially the same
 thing as Donald Trump, but not in such a crude and
reprehensible way."
His memory had gotten so bad he couldn't remember
the Alamo.