Flipper and Flopper, Rand Paul's Pet Conjoined Dolphins,

Found Dead; Waffle Overdose Suspected

Little Known Fact #56

A Dana Perino is a weekly interactive optical illusion

 formed by Fox News decay.

Scarier Looking Than Al-Qaida

Scarier Looking Than ISIS

Warm Scuzzies #505

Michael Elsbury

The Politico Illustrated #36

'Ayn Rand Paul, the most interesting

person in politics'

"As Victoria and I worship you, O Lord, we prithee,

'Don't worry, be happy!'"

What Senator Cruz Is Pointing Out Today #10

An Albino Lobster

"Wherever the terrorists lead us, we will follow, 

even unto the Gates of Hell!"

"Blessed are the Peacemakers: for they shall be called 

the Guns of God."

Rightbloggers and Other 

Internet Biohazards #152

The Mad Jewess

Old Men with Guns #24

Martin Zale

Dinesh D'Souza Sez:  “When I think about what I did, I am 

filled with a sense of sheer frustration, exasperation, and 

regret.  I cannot believe how stupid I was, how careless, 

and how irresponsible. I keep going back and trying to 

envision how I ended up here, asking myself, ‘What were 

you thinking?’" 

[He was thinking, "Obama's out to get me!"]

Try as they might and despite the promise of a

$100,000 reward if they succeeded, atheists could

 not disprove that Joshua Feuerstein exists.

Bob McDonnell's future was once so bright he had to

wear shades.

Warm Scuzzies #504

Chris Heben

Police Still Trying to Determine Woman's Motive in

$144 Eye-Shadow Heist

Good Martin Feldman

Bad Martin Feldman

Erick Erickson Lands Starring Role in

Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Idiots

Elisabeth Hasselblech!

Two-Minute Haters #44

Robby Gallaty

Modern-Day Jesuanic Homophobe and Christian

Crusader Sez:  "Convert 'em or kill 'em!"

[Why not convert them, then kill them?]

President Obama has now sent more than 1,000 troops 

back to Iraq.   How many times do we have to invade a 

country before we can call it our own?

Bruce Rauner Claims the $100,000 Wine Club He

Belongs to Doesn't Discriminate Against Mad Dog

 20/20 Consumers

Eric Cantor Working on Facial Expressions

Best Suited to His New Role as a Wall Street

Investment Banker

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #591

Dolores Gresham

"She says you would be even scarier if you changed

your last name from 'Issa' to 'ISIS'."

 "How much Koch would a Kochsniffer sniff 

if a Kochsniffer could sniff Koch?"

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #176

Michelle Malkin, Paul Jacobs, and Joe Wurzelbacher

Warm Scuzzies #503

Tony Wooten

Standard U. S. Army CamelBak (c. 1944)

"Actually, I feel much more aggressive today than I look."

American Schutzstaffel #44

"Why are you holding up that copy of the Constitution,

Mr. Bundy?"

"I'm warding off 'loose constructionists'."

Ryan Bundy Sez:  "I've taught my children a knife is 

important to have.  It's a tool that you use, and you need

 to have one with you at all times."

[His 15-year-old daughter needs one, especially.]

Good John Goodman

Bad John Goodman