Saturday, July 06, 2013

Talks Underway to Exchange Two American 
Alex Jones for

One Welsh Alex Jones
World's Worst Jobs #133
Chinese Sea Cucumber Farmer
"Gawd, I'm so hungry I'm just gonna eat you raw!"
Attorney-General Chris Koster Sez:  "This way to the
gas, my fellow Missourians!"
American Schutzstaffel #26
Man in the Moon Festival Headlined by
Well-Known Lunatic

Friday, July 05, 2013

"To tell the truth, I was never more than
91% wolf.  The rest of me originated in
"Have you ever wondered, Sal, why I always seem to
crowd you on this bench?  Well, I've been meaning
to tell you something and now's the time."
Little Known Fact #40
A Serving of Mike Huckabee on Fox News 
Contains More Trans Fat than a Fillet of
Fish at Long John Silver's
Megyn Kelly Moving to Primetime on Fox News;
Republican Men Applaud Upgrade to a
Four-Stroke Engine
Father Paul Scalia Sez:  "Homosexual acts are intrinsically 
disordered. The word disordered means that such acts 
fail to observe the design and purpose of human 
sexuality. They lack the natural ordering to 
procreation, like acts of celibacy do.  They are
 also unconstitutional.  Just ask my Dad."
Florida Baptist Pastor Jay Dennis lives a porn-free life,
as anybody with half a brain can tell from just looking
at him.  
Governor Perry Flashes the Sign of 
Double-UFIA Penetration
Republican Party Reptile, 1987

Republican Party Reptile, 2013
John Paul II Cleared for Sainthood After Getting 
More Facebook 'Likes' than Eminem
Zimmerman Scholar Spotted at Local Wine Shed
Joey Chestnut Doing the 69
Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #142
"Lock and load, fellow Gandhians!"
Even as young men, the Koch Brothers proudly 
carried Birch chips on their shoulders.


Thursday, July 04, 2013

After Jonathan Orser committed suicide, authorities
 searched his home, where they found over 100 firearms, 
15,000 to 20,000 rounds of ammunition, buckets of black 
(gun) powder, hand grenades, and a decommissioned
 tank.  He was obviously a 200-proof, USDA Prime,
100% Rick Perry-style American.
Ted Nugent has fathered nine children by seven different 
women.  Mike Huckabee, the Baptist pastor, likes him 
so much he would help him run for president.  "I 
think you’d be surprised at how many evangelicals 
respond to him," Huckabee adds.
Cuckoo Bags Pheasant
Rick Perry Thinking about Running for a Fourth Term
as Governor of the Lone Steer State
Happy Explosions in the Sky Day
Sadly Adly Sworn In as Egypt's Interim President
"Who's gonna ride with the elevator man?"

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

Kevin Drum Accused of Being
Warm Scuzzies #406
Randall Courson
Whiteworld #13
According to the latest GOP theory, all the Republican
 Party needs to do to win near-term presidential elections
 is to become the Whiter Than White Party.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

We had been warned that same-sex marriage was a 
slippery slope which would lead to bestiality.  But
we didn't listen.
New Report Reveals That Class Clowns Are NSA Agents
Embedded in K-12 Classrooms to Teach Cyber Ethics
Supreme Court Ruling Allows Mitt Romney to Receive 
Government Benefits
World's Worst Yobs #290
Jesse Watters
Vidalia, Georgia Newspaper Urged to Send 
Onionhead Back to Stone Age
Kentuckians in 2014 to Have Choice Between
Alison Grimes and Granny McConnell
Jeff Olson Found Not Guilty of Vandalism for Giving
 Chalk Talks Outside Bank of America
Former Cheddarhead and Archbishop of Milwaukee 
Recognized Worldwide as One of the Cheesiest Cardinals 
in the Vatican

Monday, July 01, 2013

'Spruce Goose'. Hmmm, why do all the naughty words 
sound woody?
NSA Applies for 'iWatch' Trademark
When Pastor Ted Cruz called for the abolition of the
IRS at the First Baptist Church in Dallas on Sunday
morning, firecrackers exploded from the rafters, flags 
were waved, bagpipes were played, and boys dressed as 
World War II soldiers re-enacted the flag raising at 
Iwo Jima.  Jesus, however, was a no-show.
Warm Scuzzies #405
Jennifer Lopez

Sunday, June 30, 2013

In an ideal world, the United States would keep secret that 
Elmer Fudd is a retired four-star Air Force general and the 
former head of the CIA and the National Security Agency.
Meathead, 1971

Meathead, 2013
Ronald Reagan was 69 when he ran for President in 1980.  
Back then, Republicans didn't think he was too old.  If 
she runs for President in 2016, Hillary Clinton will be 69.  
Republicans today think she will be too old. Sigh!  If you 
see one two-faced Republican, you've seen them all.