Even if Christmas is someday driven from the public square,

don't despair: you can still celebrate it in the same way Bill

O'Reilly does today---in the privacy of your own bathtub.

The only other time Roberta thought her son might be

hanging out with a slow crowd was when she saw that

Joe Lieberman, his pal, still hadn't gotten around to

affixing his 'Another Democrat for McCain' sticker

to the bumper of his Model T Ford.

Should a man have to die? Not if he was John Leonard.

Reserve Your Tee Time Now at the World Class

Three Losers Golf Club in Myrtle Beach

Ronald McDonald to Advise Obama's Transition Team

on Best Ways to Hit the Ground Running

Fearguth's Rules of Order #18

It's definitely a faux pas to tell a Ferruginous Pygmy Owl

that it looks 'a little rusty'.

"Smile, Virgil! Defeat is Goode!"

There would be hell to pay when Sarah found out whose
idea it was to welcome her back to Alaska with
lead-filled balloons.

Robert Novak, touting Newt Gingrich for President in 2012,

says,"He'll only be 69, and that's three years younger than

McCain was this year."

Ledeen-Podhoretz Clusterfuck Bomb Goes . . .

Boom!

President-Elect Obama Apologizes to Nancy Reagan

for His Being So Young and Her Being So Old

New Rasmussen Poll Shows 64 Percent of Republicans and 100

Percent of Democrats Want Palin to Run for President in 2012

In a move obviously designed to placate younger Democrats,

Senator Robert Byrd (D-VA), age 90, will shuffle aside to allow

Daniel Inouye (D-HI), age 84, to take over the reins
of the Senate Appropriations Committee.

Daniel Craig Focuses on James Bond, Continues to

Explore the Depths of the Iconic Superspy

In a just world, Joe Lieberman would be excluded from

the caucuses of both political parties.

He had thought he was too old and jaded to ever have

that feeling again. But there was no doubt about it:

it was love at first sight.

Silvio and Jacques Listening to Joke About Obama Being

“Young, Handsome, and Tanned”

World's Worst Yobs #58

Jon Meacham

What Really Happened When Harry and Joe Had

Their Little Meeting

Barney claims he was suffering from Bush Derangement

Syndrome when he bit the Reuters reporter.

“We are currently in — or the National Bureau of Economic

Research will shortly determine we’re in — a recession. Also,

Barack Obama won — or the National Bureau of Economic

Research will shortly determine Barack Obama won — the

election in a landslide.”

Erick the Red Announces 'Operation Leper'; Colony of

Political Outcasts to Be Supervised by 'Our Lady of

the Internment Camps', Michelle Malkin

World's Worst Yobs #57

Erick Erickson

Well put, Howard!

Well, it looked like life would return to unclogging drains

and unstopping commodes for Joe the Plumber.

While John warmed his hands over the superheated crowd,

Sarah sulked.

Writing in the Wall Street Journal, Jeffrey Scott Shapiro

says, "The treatment of Bush has been a disgrace. What

must our enemies be thinking?" Here's one conjecture:

"Woot! Woot!"

Sarko the Giant Digs Deep for the Fabled 'Wooly Booger'

"Well, girls, it's not exactly the White House, but I

guess it'll do until 2012."

Joe Lieberman Congratulates Obama on Victory;

"Time to Put Considerations of My Reprehensible

Treachery Aside," He Says

"Todd Palin here. Just wanted to thank all those

generous GOP donors who gave $20,000 to upgrade

my wardrobe. You guys are awesome!"

"After a three-fall, no-time-limit match wrestling

with the better angels of my nature, Tom, I have

finally decided to endorse Barack Obama for

President in yesterday's election. But I hasten to

add that tomorrow is another day and I, the Dean

of the Washington Press Corps™, need to earn another

dollar. So I reserve the right to revise and extend

my endorsements as needed."

This just in: the punditocracy has decided that Barack

Obama should govern as a 'center-right leftist' on Mondays,

Wednesdays, and Fridays; as a 'center-left rightist' on Tuesdays

and Thursdays; and as a 'left-right centrist' on weekends.

A word of advice: if Sarah Palin makes a run for the

Republican presidential nomination in 2012, she needs

to get a voice transplant.

Remember the invocation uttered by Arnold Conrad, the former

pastor of Grave Evangelical Free Church? He prayed: "There

are millions of people around this world praying to their god —
whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that McCain's opponent

wins, for a variety of reasons. And Lord, I pray that you would

guard your own reputation because they’re going to think that
 their god is bigger than You if that happens. So I pray that
You will step forward and honor your own name in all that
happens between now and Election Day.” Do you suppose
Reverend Conrad might be shopping around for a
bigger god today?

Ruminating over the election results, Fred Barnes said,

"We have a center-right country, and now we can be more right

than center, and I think it's moved a little to the center from the

right, but we're definitely going to have a center-left Washington."

Just a hunch, but unless you don't mind getting lost, it would

probably be inadvisable to ask Fred for driving directions,

especially right after he pulls his head out of his ass.

George Walker Bush will be remembered favorably for one thing:

as President he didn't propose the re-institution of Negro slavery.

Vice President's Permanent Address to Be Some

Undisclosed Location Along the Snake River

"Will I be back? You betcha!"

Winning is such sweet sorrow.

Latest Fashion in Sunday-Go-to-Meeting Attire

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Barack Obama,

the next President of the United States."

What It Feels Like to Vote for Barack Obama

What It Feels Like to Vote for John McCain

Ayers, Farrakhan Vote at Same Polling Location as
Michelle and Barack Obama; Republican Epidemiologists
Predict a Major Outbreak of Cooties-by-Association

"I hope you'll understand my rationale, Senator Obama,

when I unleash my guilt-by-association attacks on you.

You do live on the same planet as Jeremiah Wright,

Bill Ayers, and Louis Farrakhan, do you not?"

Life was hard enough for Mr. Bill during his Saturday Night

Live years. But when he was forced by economic hard times

to eke out a miserable living as a soccer ball, he began to

reconsider Camus' thesis in The Myth of Sisyphus, namely,

the only serious philosophical problem is whether it's

efficacious to cry out, "Ohh Nooo!!!", before committing suicide.

At John McCain's last stop on the campaign trail in 2008,

the only member of the press that showed up was a

photographer from My Weekly Reader.

Drudge Report Funnies #21

"Obama family in Kenya slaughters bulls, sheep,

goats and chickens at 'victory party'..."