Warm Scuzzies #727

Dan Scavino, Jr.

"I alone am permitted to address Mr. Trump as 'Donald'. 

If she wishes, Ivanka may say 'Daddy', but the rest of 

you should say 'Your Bigliness'."

The Most Extraordinary Collection of Dumbclucks Ever

Gathered in the White House, with the Possible Exception

of When Mike Pence Dined Alone

Annual Celebration Gets a

Makeover

Keystone Kop Says Reports About White House

 Officials Providing Him Documents ‘Mostly Wrong’

In the Age of Trumpery, April Fool's Day 

has become 24/7/365.

"Should I use Endust or Pledge?"

When she joins the Trump Golf Team,

Ivanka will be the only member who

plays in high heels.

"A hunting we will go, a hunting we will go,

Heigh ho, the dairy-o, a hunting we will go!"

What Sean Spicer Does in His Spare Time

In the Kitchen with Chef Wüsthof at the Bates Motel

Rick 'Big Oops' Perry Hangin' with the Hoods

When Rex Tillerson makes this move, quickly avert your eyes, 

lest ye be turned to stone.

According to the Domino's Theory, Pizza Hut and 

Pizza Inn are in danger of falling next, unless we 

invade Papa John's.

"Shave and a haircut, six bits? Hey, when I was a kid,

it was only two bits!"

Stool Pigeon Serenade

Mike Pence says he sometimes dines with these ladies, 

but only in the company of his wife.

Shark Found in Middle of Australian Road Was 

Left Behind by Sharknado

Sean Spicer, the Misunderestimated Man

GOP Internecine Warfare Comes to the

Big Screen

Barron Trump Channels George Bush

The crooks never sleep and neither does 

Inspector Clouseau.

Andrew Napolitano Returns to Fox News,

Doubles Down

Wowsers! Go Go Gadget!

"Pastor, you say your name is Rick Wiles.  You wouldn't

happen to be the 'Wiles of the Devil' we read about in

Ephesians, would you?"

"Nunes Doing a Great Job," Says Utah Ambush Predator

"Like the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, my scare quotes 

have nasty, big, pointy teeth!"

Headlines We Like to See #15

'Two Face Felony Charges Over Planned Parenthood Videos'

"When you smilin', when you smilin'

The whole world smiles with you."

Mike Cernovich Sez: "The media says we’re not going 

to take Tintin on his word. And that’s why we are in

 these different universes."

The Day After the House GOP Voted to Repeal the

Law of Gravity

Sean Spicer Proves to Reporters That Only

Ken's 'Not Russian Dressing' Is Served in

the White House

It was getting harder and harder for Devin Nunes to 

remember if he was part of the coverup of the Trump-

Russia collusion or the coverup of the coverup.

"I call this my Ben Franklin tie. It's made out of 

recycled $100 bills."

Famous Book by Graduate of

Yale Law School

Last night when Paul Ryan was sound asleep, 

Someone tiptoed into his bedroom

And pulled out all his teeth.

Nepot the Magnificent

Speaker Ryan Showing Symptoms of

Stage IV Teabagging

Is Sean Hannity sad for America?

Judges Relaxing Between Rounds of the 2017 White

House Fence Jumping Contest

'Trump Signals He's Open to Work with 

Dems on Healthcare'

Spoiler Alert! Smokey Joe Barton (R-TX) Reveals 

the Plot of Repeal and Replace: the Movie

Call Child Protective Services STAT!

Oxymorons for Our Time #186

House Freedom Caucus