People who have sex four times weekly earn more so they

can afford to drink four cups of coffee and three extra

sodas a day and die young.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #145

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #517

David Shormann

New Study Indicates Female Frogs Favor Mates Who Can

Multitask, Such as Sing and Dance at the Same Time

Being barefoot and pregnant is weird enough.  But have

you ever considered how bizarre human feet look out of

context?

Glenn Beck Sez:  "Oprah Winfrey, you're the most famous

and most accomplished black woman in the history of

America, but you disgust me.  Why?  Because (1) you're

much richer than I am, (2) you're a woman, (3) you're

black, and (4) you've never been a rodeo clown."

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #167

Katie Pavlich and John Hawkins

At Last, CIA Admits Area 51 Is Real and the Only Place

in the U.S. Where the Right to Privacy Still Exists

Warm Scuzzies #420

Judge Michael Thornsbury

"For a theoretical physicist, I really do have pretty

nice legs."

Nobody can tell 'bipartisanship' jokes quite like Henry

Cisneros, Kit Bond, and Mel Martinez.

Chinese Zoo Tries to Pass Off Dog as Lion

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #516

Orson Scott Card

"Hello all you happy Kochsuckers . . . you know what?

I'm the hero."

Step aside, Charles Laughton!  This is a real Modo,

not just a Quasimodo.

Sign of the Times #48

Democracy?  Bah!  Humbug!

World's Worst Jobs #134

Malian Steel Barrel Vendor

Flag Desecration #69

Oxymorons for Our Time #156

Lee Bright

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #515

Steve Lonegan

With a face like the Dutch prime minister's, one should

not smile.

Pat Caddell may not be the most accurate pollster in the

business, but he is certainly one of the ugliest.

American Schutzstaffel #31

"I wouldn't call it a moustache, per se.  It's more like a

tailless aircraft that landed under my nose one day and

is now costing me $150 a month to maintain."

"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

What?  Has Dubya been diagnosed

with Hells Bells Palsy?

Fearguth's Rules of Order #58

Unless absolutely necessary, never

face swap with a Pisces.

Erin Pizzey is 'a voice for men'.  Uh-huh.

What Native Americans Said to Steve King's European

Ancestors When They Immigrated to North America:

“If you bring people from a violent civilization into a

 less-violent civilization, you’re going to have more

violence, right?  It’s like pouring hot water into cold

water—does it raise the temperature or not?”

The Saddest Little Turtle in the Kentucky Fever Swamp:

A Children's Story

Representative Blake Farenthold (R-The Other White Meat)

 is of the opinion that sitting on President Obama may well

be more effective in neutralizing him than impeachment.

Should white bread be sliced?  Thought to have been

settled in the early 1930s with the advent of Wonder

Bread, this question has re-emerged in 2013 as one of

 the most divisive questions of our time.

Laughing Buddha Charged with Possession of

Ecstasy with Intent to Distribute

Obama-san Doing the Crane Kick

This is why it's easy for Rafael Cruz to

impersonate Robert W. Welch, Jr., founder

of The John Birch Society.  Rafael is on the

right, Robert is on the left.

A Robert Welch impersonator was unmasked at the Family

Leadership Summit in Ames, Iowa on Saturday.  It turns

out he is Rafael Cruz, Senator Ted Cruz's father, who sings

a tune even loonier than his son's.  

Collection Found in Home of Eccentric

Who Keeps and Bears Arms

Army

Leggy

Donald Trump shifts his position on Obama's nativity

from Atheist Birther (i. e., 'Obama's birth certificate does

 not exist') to Agnostic Birther (i. e., 'I don't know if

 Obama's birth certificate exists').