Prince William's hair stood on end when he learned
that his brother's life had been put in jeopardy by a
pasty-faced gumshoe, who hides his bald head underneath
a goofy hat, by the name of

One out of every 100 adult Americans is now behind bars.

Inasmuch as Bildungblog has about 100 adult American

viewers, would the laughing perp among you please stand

up and applaud the fact that the United States has more of

its citizens locked up behind prison walls than any other

country in the world?

Hillary Hears the Sound of Silence in Waco, Texas

New Cuban President Pledges to Vanquish Yankee Imperialists by

the Time--Plus or Minus 50 Years--the U. S. Wins the War in Iraq

Higher Mathematics

Given intersecting planes described by a, b, c, and d, the lines

of intersection are perpendicular to both x and y, and are

thus parallel to z.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin Undergoing

Fleur-de-Lis Recognition Security Check

When you drive a Puyo, people won't know whether

you're coming or going.

"Out, damnéd ball!"

Asked who his prime target was, Prince Harry said,

"That festering crapweasel, Matt Drudge!"

Official Portrait Selected for George Walker Bush

Presidential Library

"Body snatchers? Bring 'em on!" hearse driver says.

Military Heat Ray Gun Zaps Mr. Potato Head;

"He Was Delicious!" Crew Says

Former spokesman for Gary Bauer, top aide to Karl Rove, and

President Bush's liaison to social and religious conservatives

since 2001, Tim Goeglein has resigned. It would appear he had a

propensity to plagiarize and wear a flag lapel pin at the same time.

President Bush Upbeat about U. S. Economy

"I've always thought Huck and Jim's excellent adventure is

one of the most enduring images of escape and freedom in

all of American literature."

Government of the Philippines Strictly Enforcing

New Transparency-in-Protesting Law

"Tigger-Lover!"

"Scum-Sucking Pig!"

DNA tests have confirmed that Timothy Goeglein has

the 'moral turpitude' gene.

The main difference between John Hagee and Louis

Farrakhan is that the former can't play the violin.

"Um, incidentally, do call me George. I don't want you

bothering with this 'President' nonsense! Ha ha ha ha!

Now where were we? Ah yes. Geldy Baby, you were asking

me about the Presidential M&Ms ..."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I don't like being called 'Geldy Baby'!"

Although Republican Representative John Doolittle

has announced he will be retiring at the end of 2008,

his dewlap, encouraged by the examples of Rick Renzi

and Larry Craig, intends to run for a 10th term.

Televangelist John Hagee Throws Weight Behind 
Senator McCain, Sets New World Record for 
Clean and Jerk

Bill Donohue Beetle and John Hagee Beetle in Three Falls,

No Time Limit Protestant-Catholic Death Match; Winner

Earns Right to Endorse John McCain for President

Chief Justice John Roberts has reportedly posted the following

on an Internet message board: "I am looking for an Exxon

Tiger Pillow offered as a promotion in the mid 70's. It is bright

orange with black stripes and shows just the tiger's face."

John Batchelor, quondam radio host and Fox News 'reporter',

has forgotten how to tie his bow tie. He blames his memory

lapse on the shock he experienced when he learned that

Bill Ayers, a Weatherman 40 years ago, donated $200

to Barack Obama's state senate campaign in 2001.

Bill Cunningham lets his finger do the talking.

"McCain's people told me to give the faithful red meat.

Give them red, raw meat. So I did. And as you know,

Sean, not even you can beat my meat!"

Matt Drudge Publishes Incriminating Photo of Barack Obama

Wearing Traditional Texas Garb

Robin Smith, Another McCain Sock Puppet

Barack Obama Caught Campaigning in Foreign Land

Bill Cunningham, McCain Sock Puppet

When Glenn Beck said, "I think Rick Santorum is a Winston

Churchill in many ways," the former Prime Minister of

England gave him not one, but two fingers.

What made Bill Buckley so special was that he was the

only human being known to have been born with a rare,

first edition of Roget's Thesaurus in his mouth.

When Bill Buckley published his first book, God and Man at

Yale (1951), there was never any doubt what role the university

played in the tale, but it was never clear whether the author

thought of himself as God or man.

Yes, for 82 years, conservatism was fun for William Frank

Buckley, Jr. It can be fun for you, too, so long as you

are well-born, well-bred, and well-heeled.

How many Terminator movies will it take before we realize

the threat to humanity posed by automated killer robots?

Member of Happy Tooth Party Cheerfully

Supports War Against Mr. Tooth Decay

All the President's Bagmen

"Why, little owl, do you look so wise while I look so foolish?"

Republican Representative Rick Renzi, husband of Roberta Renzi,

is the father of twelve children, all of whose first names begin with

the letter 'R'. His favorite tune is 'Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer'

and his favorite cartoon character is Roger Ramjet. Rapped on 35

counts recently, Renzi refuses to resign, reckoning he'll be rescued

by President Richie Rich.

"Republicans, get off your dead asses and raise $7.5 million

for the National Republican Congressional Committee! And

don't worry your pointy little heads over that forged internal

audit business!"

Tim Russert's assignment in Hell will be to moderate

an eternal debate between two blind deaf mutes.

Still Life with Republican Amid Democratic Netroots

Track and field photographers are notorious for not placing their

hands over their hearts while reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

But, as you can see, there's a good reason why.

Clean-Shaven Co-Founder of RedState.Org to Wed Monica

Marie, Winner of Time's 'Goodling of the Year' Award

"While his back is turned, throw everything we've got

at him, including the kitchen sink!"

There are fans of anything and everything, even assholes.

"There is power, power, wonder working power in the blood.

But, oh, I'm beginning to feel faint."