Although they didn't know it at the time, Shinzo Abe, then Prime Minister of Japan, and Wen Jiabao, Premier of China, were shaking hands with Roh Moo-hyun, then President of South Korea, for the last time. Suicide always catches people off guard---even the rich, the the famous, and the powerful.
"Some of your friends in the Mafia, Mr. Tancredo, say that you don't know that 'wop' spelled backwards is 'pow'. Is this true, or are all those Eyetalian pasta chompers just unfairly stereotyping you?"
Some critics of Sonia Sotomayor say her fondness for Patitas de Cerdo con Garbanzo (Pigs' Feet and Chickpea Stew) will make her interpretation of the Constitution too spicy to suit the average Wonderbread Republican.
The new Judgebot is certified to be genderless, sexless, identityless, and 100% empathy-free. Furthermore, it is designed to never engage in judicial activism or legislating from the bench, and can decide complex Constitutional cases while simultaneously solving the most difficult Rubik's Cube puzzles.
Karl Rove, who attended nearly a half dozen colleges but never graduated from any of them, thinks Sonia Sotomayor, who graduated summa cum laude from Princeton and earned a law degree from Yale, isn't smart enough to be on the Supreme Court. His opinion calls to mind the Dragnet theme: "Dumb-da-dumb-dumb!"
"Would the Republican Party, conservatives, rightists, and other assorted wingnuts please find some younger talent to play villains in America's political theater? This is necessary in order to keep the American people from falling asleep and snoring during the show. Thank you."