Damn!  MechaGodzilla will have to wait till Christmas to get 

his McRib sandwich fix.

The Day Rick Santorum's Mouth Got Cross-Threaded 

with a Corkscrew-Shaped Soft Serve

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Mr. Sperm Sez:  "If you want to get technical,

Mr. Ryan, life actually begins before conception."

"I’m not familiar precisely with what I said, but I’ll 

stand by what I said, whatever it was, because, 

quite honestly, I have no idea where I stand on 

any of the issues at this point in the campaign."

Sign of the Times #29

Mitt Romney:  Warrior of the Post-Truthy Era

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, 

perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer."

"Save us, O Lord, from Malarkey and Son!"

Lindsay Lohan Sez:  "Drink enough Mr. Pink and you'll

endorse anybody, even Mitt Romney."

"I want to make you ... uh ... a star!"

Warm Scuzzies #334

Jean-Claude Brizard

"You've never heard of Smiler Grogan, Mr. Ryan?

You gotta be shitting me!"

Most people Jack Welch's age take Gas-X when 

they feel a 'tweet' coming on. 

If you say Paul Ryan has 'bird legs',

that would be disrespectful.

Dumbbells

"Joe, Paul tells me you made him 

look short on national TV."

Paul Ryan Publishes His Autobiography,

Skinny Legs and All 

Mittens Had Lost His Mittens

"Ermahgerd, I see temple garments!"

Mitt Romney:  Polished Turd or Lacquered Stool?

As President Obama had learned the hard way, playing 

Whack-a-Mitt was harder than most people realized.

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #153

Amelia Hamilton and Tabitha Hale

"Most people don't know this, but my 'Theory

of Special Relativity' was formulated in 

response to a particularly bad hair day."

Thanks to Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, we are now able 

to move beyond the common, everyday facepalm.

"Hi, I'm Vladimir Putin.  My grandfather was one of 

Stalin's cooks.  I've come a long way since 1952."

Pumping Irony

Albert Einstein Sez:  "Beware of Zontar, 

the Thing from Venus!"

Big Bigots, Little Bigots #14

Scott Lively

Warm Scuzzies #333

Scott DesJarlais

"What has two legs and only one ball?"

"A Cryptorchidist on Parade."

"Is that Joe Walsh or a horse's ass?"

"Is there a difference?"

'Watch for Biden to Come Out Swinging'

The Creature from Agenda 21 has escaped

 from the Republican Party Platform and is 

believed to be hiding in Area 51.

Netanyahu's Poodle

The only issue relative to Mitt Romney's mendacity is 

whether it is due to nature or nurture.

“There’s no legislation with regards to abortion that 

I’m familiar with that would become part of my agenda," 

Mitt Romney told the Des Moines Register on Tuesday.

“Governor Romney would of course support legislation

 aimed at providing greater protections for life,” Andrea Saul, 

Romney spokesperson, told National Review on Tuesday.

Sarah Palin Showing Us How to Fight

Terrorism by Shopping at Kmart®

"My momma always said, 'Romney is like a box of 

chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get'."

Warm Scuzzies #332

David Siegel

Ryan Introduces Plan to Voucherize Trick-or-Treating

Sign of the Times #29

Incontestable Assertion Meets 

Irrefutable Argument

Rebellious Sons Get the Jump on Father Fuqua

Arkansas Republican Loy Mauch 

has a pop quiz for us:  

1.“If slavery were so God-awful, why 

didn’t Jesus or Paul condemn it?" 

2. "Why was slavery in the Constitution?"  

3. "Why wasn’t there a war before 1861?"

Republican Genius Demonstrating the P90X Method

of Eating a Frankenweenie

Big Bird Sez:  "Get Michael Medved Off Wingnut Welfare!"

Mars Rover Encounters 'Shiny Object', Gets Distracted

Phyllophaga ailesii

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #152

Robert Stacy McCain and Ed Morrissey