Saturday, December 01, 2007

Tom Tancredo, Republican Eliminationist, Hires Illegal
Immigrants to Renovate His Commodious McMansion
If Michelle Malkin and Pam Geller were a cocktail,
it would have to be a 'Sloe Comfortable Screw Up
"Righto, Rolf, there is something perversely satisfying about taking
a beer bath, fully clothed, in the middle of a soccer field!"
"Hows THAT for service, Miss Kumquat!"
Things to Avoid #10
Total Body Charley Horses
Now-Independent Lincoln Chafee Planning
to Re-Use Balloons in Bid for Rhode Island
Governorship in 2010
If we still had Superman around to fight the never ending
battle for truth, justice, and the American way, here's what
Joe Klein would be doing right now.
If you can picture yourself married to Laura Bush,
you have what Enlightenment thinkers called
a 'diseased imagination'.
Mahmoud Abbas Expelled from Middle East
Peace Conference for 'Looking Too Scary'
Outpopulated by Blacks and overrun by Mexicans,
Arkansas Republican State Senator Denny Altes
now realizes he should have spent more time making
babies with his wife and less time sending email to the
former mayor of Forth Smith.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Shagadelic, 1967

Shagadelic, Forty Years Later

Factoid of the Hour #3
Did you know that if the 'Eye of God Nebula'
(AKA the Helix Nebula) were to blink this
very minute, it would take 650 years for anybody
on Earth to see it?
"If, as you say, Catherine the Great hasn't been
seen since 1796, wouldn't you agree you're a bit
tardy in filing a missing person report?"
All Hat, No Cattle
"No, no, George, I did not turn Lott's wife into a pillar
of salt. I turned her into Dickie Scrugg's sister-in-law."
Republican Representative Peter Hoekstra believes
Saddam Hussein had Weapons of Mass Destruction,
that we found them, and that our intelligence agencies
are hiding these facts from us. He also believes Joe
Klein is a fine journalist.
Ronny Turiaf Gives Allen Iverson a Wet Willy, Draws Foul
"Look, Ma, NO hands!"
Rudy Giuliani's love nest was carpeted with shag,
i. e., a rug with a thick rough pile.

Tiny Condi

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Mr. Hyde Is Dead at 83; Dr. Jekyll Says, "Free at Last!"
"Remember, men, your guns, which you are fondling right now,
are only effective at short range. For longer range targets, you
must use a rifle, like those you see behind me."
"OK, Mitt, here's my final offer: you can have the
nomination if I can have your hair."
If someone asks why you're not a Mormon,
just say two words: "Mitt Romney."
Camp Delta, Guantanamo: Where They Keep
Mitt Romney's Soul When He Isn't Using It
"Isn't it amazing, Carlos, how we get away with
blatant public displays of homoeroticism in the
name of sports?"
If you stare at Republican Representative Adam Putnam
for ten seconds, you will be permanently immunized
against the notion of Intelligent Design. Stare at him
longer than that and you run the risk of irreversible
brain damage.
Watch out! Abby Cadabby is about to put a spell on you!
Baghdad Suicide Car Bomber Kills Twelve, Wounds 30;
Driver Yells "Surge Is Working, Surge Is Working!"
Before Blowing Himself Up
Aerial View of Republican YouTube Debate

Richard Scruggs, Trent Lott's Brother-in-Law,
Indicted for Bribery; Zach Scruggs, His Son,
Indicted for Being Born into Such a Corrupt Family

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

On Wednesday, Richard Roberts said God told him he would "do
something supernatural for the university," if he stepped down
from the job he has held at Oral Roberts University since 1993.
So Richard resigned.

On Thursday, God kept His promise,
and Richard was 'born again' again.

Cover Photo from Oliver Sacks' Latest Book,
The Woman Who Mistook Her Giraffe for a Hat
Spot the Nonconformist
Just as he dropped his ballot into the box,
the Undecided Voter yelped, "Egads! I've
changed my mind!"
"I'm passing you the baton, Ashfaq,
but I'm keeping the $10 billion
Brother Bush gave me."
Priscilla Painton, a Deputy Managing Editor at Time,
is responsible for giving the imprimatur to Joe Klein's
falsifications. Her boss is Richard Stengel, whose
specialty is the 'inculpable noncorrection'.
Things can get pretty rough in women's
Kama-Sutra Wrestling.

Iraqi Insurgent Auditions for Lead Role in
Attack of the Bride Monster

"Some people believe I'm Rick Stengel, Time's Managing
Editor, but some people don't. As a paragon of journalistic
objectivity, that's all I can say."
Would you buy a used car from somebody who looks
like Joe Klein? Beg pardon, but was that a 'No' or a
'Hell No!'?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

"Here's how the system works, Alfredo. Some dumb broad wears
a ridiculous dress, we videotape her, a photographer catches
us in the act, and then Fearguth gets rich blogging about the
whole katzenjammer spectacle."
Bolivian President Inks Seven-Figure
Endorsement Contract with Quiznos®
"Hi, I'm Eva Mendes! Be sure to check out my
new movie, The Mouth That Roared."

Did you see the sign which popped up all over Louisiana
after the Razorbacks whipped the Tigers?
Flag Desecration #8
Sarko the Giant's Wedding Ring to Be Used
as France's First Bitchslapping Arena
Paris Gibson is remembered as the only man
in history to die from terminal dandruff.