Saturday, July 15, 2017

"That was genius, Junior, sheer genius. I mean where did
 you come up with a scam like that?"
World's Worst Yoobs #186
Lisa Boothe
Fly-on-the-Wall at Junior Trump/Jared Kushner
Meeting with N+1 Russians to Appear on 
I've Got a Secret
David Brooks Explaining How to Replace the Bag
 in a Moral Vacuum
 "Suck, Brother Trump, blow is
 just a figure of speech."
Minnow Foraging with Whales
What Happened When You Were Expecting
 Alfred E. Neuman and Got Jefferson Beauregard
 Sessions III Instead
Hopefully, the openings in Trump's steel wall
 won't be big enough to let in Trojan Roadrunners.
If she were alive today, Mary McCarthy would say 
of Donald Trump, Jr., "Every word he utters is a lie, 
including 'and' and 'the'."
Arkansas Bushman Spotted in Dallas
Exposure to TV Cameras Turning Kellyanne Conway 
Orange Like Her Boss

Friday, July 14, 2017

If Jared Kushner is ever thrown under the bus, Donald 
Trump will be behind the wheel driving it.
The Trump Administration has adopted a Latin motto, which
means, in English, NO FOUL PLAY WHATSOEVER.
"I'm one of Trump's lawyers and I want to talk to you
a few minutes about diabeetus."
Will the outbreak of Moral Leprosy in the White House 
hasten Christ's return?
"Like Pam Geller and myself, you, too, can make a fortune
 in the Islamophobia industry."
Donald Trump with David Friedman, Ambassador to Israel
and Well-Known Rodney Dangerfield Impersonator
"I can't hear you, Marc Kasowitz.  Could you cuss a
little louder?"

Thursday, July 13, 2017

Lawyers Erect Solar-Powered, Transparent Wall
 Between Donald Trump and Jared Kushner
Attorney-General Sessions Receiving the Baptism of
Religious Liberty
Kellyanne Conway Makes Guest Appearance on
Sesame Street for Psychos
As you can tell from this recent studio portrait, 
Gary Busey and his family are looking good.
Pence says the keys to Trump's success are humility and
 self-control. [Laughter.]
Beavis and Butthead: the Next Generation
"Heal him now, O Lord, we beseech thee!"
Not to Be Confused with Speedy Gonzales

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

NeoNeanderthal Mike Cernovich Sez: "Don Jr. is 
the truth."
Eric Trump Said to Be Resentful That His Brother
 Is Hogging the Media Spotlight
Like Texas weather, if you don't like Junior's Russia story, 
wait five minutes and it will change.
The portrait hanging on Steve Bannon's wall
is not himself as Emperor Napoleon; it's 
himself as Napoleon from Animal Farm.
Trump told us the 2016 presidential election was rigged. 
What he didn't tell us was that his campaign was doing the
 rigging.
"I have very little time for watching TV."
"My son is innocent and transparent!"
White House Insider Identified Who 'Has It Out' 
for Donald Trump, Jr.
Ivanka Invades the Crimean Conference
Captain of S.S. Trumpanic Says Even a Trillion-Ton Iceberg 
Cannot Sink Her
Trump Heads to France to Finalize Deal for 
Bastille Restoration Project
Trump Tower Finally Getting 'Suicide Net'
"There’s nothing that I would do to ever endanger this
 country, and I have the medal to prove it!"
Former GOP Congressman Joe Scarborough Says He's 
Leaving the Kowtow Party
Fredo Speaks!

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

Sudden Drop in Global Helium Availability Could Spell
 Trouble for This Year's Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
"Where did Junior get the blue ribbon?"
"It was awarded to him by his dad."
If you've been waiting since 1976---over 40 years!---for
 a sequel to All the President's Men, it looks like your
 patience may finally be rewarded.
And then, all of a sudden, Sarah Huckabee Sanders
was overcome by emoji.
"Clown shoes; so what's it all about? 
Oh no, not clown shoes! 
Maybe I'm in for some mighty bad news."

Russian Lawyer Says Not-So-Curious Junior Asked Only 
One Question
Rob Goldstone, the Quintessential Trumpnik
58% of Republicans say that colleges and universities 
have a negative effect on the country. Derp!

Monday, July 10, 2017

Steve Bannon Has Portrait of Himself as Napoleon
on His Office Wall