Remember when it was considered rude to tell

somebody to "Shut Up!"? Those were the days

before the likes of Rush Limbaugh came along.

Now it's considered polite to tell somebody to

"Shut the Fuck Up!"

The Knights Who Say Nihil

"Believe it or not, I worship Sarah Palin more

than John Ziegler does. He thinks she's only

the Mother of God. Really, how pedestrian

can you be?"

The only thing less interesting than ABC's Martha Raddatz is

the surface of Mars.

Little Leaguer, if you grow up to be a Big Leaguer, you can

let little tiny hairs grow all over your face, smoke big cigars,

and look meaner than Ruben Navarrette.

"Quite frankly, Sarah Palin is just an aging

wanker totem. She really bores me out."

Balaam's Ass's ass could talk, too.

If it were possible to sully the reputation of used-car

dealers any further, Phil Wolf of Wheat Ridge, Colorado,
could do it.

The greatest tyranny known to humankind is the
power the past has over the present.

Gradually, comic book characters had become
more real than most American politicians.

Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #110

Phil Wolf

Going Dogue: a Bordeaux Life

Rightbloggers and Other

Internet Biohazards #23

John J. Miller

It's Saturday morning, and Elvis Donuts are in the house.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #70

"Take it from me: sand-based religions, like
Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, will set
your teeth on edge. My religion, on the
other hand, only requires that you look
like a Wandering Holy Man of India when
you shop at Macy's."

This year's eclipse of Mahmoud Abbas, the Palestinian
Sun, was almost total. Maybe next year.

Sarah Palin's idea of multitasking is holding a microphone
in one hand and hugging Trig with the other.

"My successor as CEO of the Bank of America
only needs to be this tall, so if you qualify,
apply now!"

Remember when Americans thought liars were
bad and should be fired? That was before the
Palin-Bachmann ticket swept into the White
House in 2012, which, coincidentally, turned
out to be the End of Time.

"I don't want to spoil your day at the beach, folks,
but I can tell that somebody has been peeing in
the deep blue sea."

"Sail Away
That's Our Swan Song, Mama
Sail Away"

Two hundred and thirty-seven members of Congress
are millionaires. That's 44%, almost half of 535. By
contrast, millionaires constitute only 1% of the U. S.
population. That's the good news. The bad news?
You don't want to hear it.

Turkish Pepperpots Want to Put a Spell on You

If you haven't seen the new Maxwell House
Flavor Lock Lid, now you have.

Goldman Sachs Shareholders Ask Bank To Cut
Down HUGE Bonuses to Help Calm Angry Mobs

Afghan Helicopter

World's Worst Jobs #104
Palestinian Yasser Arafat Impersonator

"Found a copy of Sarah's book in the trash.
Best chew toy ever!"

Oxymorons for Our Time #12
Texas Justice

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #69

Ghastly Monsters and Blond Giants #34

Frank Gaffney and Ken Eliasberg

Leader of American Taliban to Launch
'Holy War' Against Health Care Reform

John Gerspach, CFO of Citigroup, doesn't perform

well when he only makes $400,000 per year in base

salary. So, his base salary has just been raised

to $500,000.

Moderate Democratic Senators say health care reform
should be put on hold until the critical Eggo Waffle
shortage is resolved.

Bad Spellers of the World, UNTIE! #68

"I'm the straight Tony Perkins. Please believe me: I
never made love to Rock Hudson nor did I ever set
foot in the Bates Motel!"

Texans Waiting in Line to Buy Sarah Palin's Book
at Legacy Books in Plano, Texas (circa 1955)

World's Worst Jobs #103
Chinese Usable Coal Searcher

"I agree you look like you've lost your mind, but you're still
not crazy enough to enter Afghanistan. So, go back the way
you came, pilgrim!"

Why do some of these soldiers insist on standing
out from the crowd? Don't they realize that's not
what makes a soldier a soldier?

"Despite your camouflage, soldier, I can still see you.
Can you still see me?"

Cammieflu: the #1 Doctor-Prescribed Medicine for the
Treatment and Prevention of Rebellion and Insurrection

Already weary of speculation about the 2010 and

2012 elections? No one seems to be speculating

about the 3000 election yet. So, why not be the

first? Go for it, Futurepundit!

Palinmania is a state of mind.

So is the Insane Clown Posse.

"No, I wasn't bowing to the Japanese Prime
Minister. I was just puking in his lap."

With David Brooks, Deep in the Bowels of the GOP

Reverend Bob in Black and White

Reverend Bob in Living Color