Brash, Bold, and Unapologetic About Being an Idiot

Texas College Opens All-Vegan BBQ Cafeteria

New Girl Scout Cookie, 'Dulce de Lecher',

Named in Honor of Roger Ailes

Burger King Deposed in Bloodless Coup

Not even Imelda Marcos owns 22 pairs

of cowboy boots.

Soon to Be a Major Motion Picture

It's always a bad sign when the ratio of

 selling price to shipping cost is one to

four.   That's what Sarah Palin faces

right now, where you can buy a new

hardcopy of her latest book on

Amazon for $.99 + $3.99 shipping.

"See, I told you Harry Truman didn't win."

Kasich's Team Thinks It May Be Time to Compromise

"I'm different from George W. Bush.  His GPA at Yale was

2.35 and my GPA at Texas A&M was 2.22."

Warm Scuzzies #212

Peter Haller (aka Peter Simonyi)

Rick Perry’s Loose Lips Worry Hill Republicans;

"Would Botox Help?" Some Ask

"How old do I think the Earth is? You know what, kid, I don't

have any idea, because I dropped out of my 'Book of

Genesis' class at Paint Creek High School."

"Flunking organic chemistry was one of the

best things that ever happened to me, kid!

If I had made good grades in college, I

might today be a veterinarian,

pulling calves."

If you seek the fearless, don't bother

looking for them on Wall Street.

The gaps in the theory of evolution are inconsequential

compared to the gap between Rick Perry's ears.

If you want him to listen to you, you have to

BYOB (Buy Your Own Obama).

“People recognize that there’s a fear that the United States

is in an unstoppable decline. They see the rise of China,

the rise of India, the rise of the Soviet Union, the rise of

Freedonia, and they fear that President Obama will

whack $500 billion out of our military defense at a

time when we're fighting three wars."

Sometimes God sends subtle messages by, say, putting the

 visage of the Virgin Mary on a 10-year-old grilled cheese

 sandwich.  Sometimes He is more direct.

“It’s just a good thing I can’t pack a gun on the Senate floor,

 or I'd make the caning of Senator Charles Sumner (R-MA)

 by Senator Preston Brooks (D-SC) look like a pillow fight."

Allen West Undergoes Sex Reassignment Surgery,

Becomes 'Modern-Day Harriet Tubman'

"Under President Bachmann you will see gasoline come

down below $2 a gallon again. That will happen when I'm

elected President in 2008."

It would have been better TV if, in a rare display of good sense,

CNN host Piers Morgan had terminated his interview with

Christine O'Donnell and walked off the set.

Did you know that for every $25 donation

to the Romney campaign you get a free

t-shirt?

Asked why he was moving his presidential campaign to

Hawaii, Newt Gingrich said it's because "the Aloha State

 has better beaches and Mai Tais."

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #57

It Happened at the State Fair

Oxymorons for Our Time #106

White-Hot Electorate

Old South Baking Co. Introduces New Cookie Line Inspired

 by Rush Limbaugh, 'White Chocolate Wingnut Chubbies'

"Careful with that arm or one of my security palookas

may have to rip it from your shoulder!"

Cain Wants Abel Impeached; Tiller of the Ground

Hinting at Even More Drastic Measures Which

May Be Taken Against Keeper of Sheep

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, riding in on a white horse to

save us, is Governor Rick Perry of Texas!  Oh, wait just a

minute, it's not Rick Perry on a white horse.  It's just

Jesus riding in on an ass whose name is Rick Perry.

Sorry!"

Representative Jeff Flake (R-AZ), who has nice pecs, likes

 to get back to nature on a desert island located  in the vast

Goldwater Sea, somewhere in the State of Arizona.

"I understand, Silver, that you and The Lone Ranger got

 along just fine until the day he asked you, 'How do you

get down from a horse?'"

Local Mohawk Fan Now Definitely Leaning

Toward Governor Supercuts for 2012

From Predator Nutrition Comes the Secret to

Rick Perry's Supermasculine Meniality

"Look, there can be only ONE Big Swinging Rick

in this race.  So, beat it, Frothy!"

“I think you want a President who is passionate about himself

 — that’s in love with himself.  And that's me, America!"

With her rifle by her side, Kim Simac loses in

Wisconsin recall election, 54%-46%.

Governor Perry Says EPA Killing Jobs Needed to

Put Melamine Back into Pork Chops

"Remember what I said about Ben Bernanke and stay

out of Texas, Frothy!"

Meghan McCain Sez:  "Sarah Palin Is a Prick Tease!"

President Obama Creates New Jobs for Speechwriters

 to Write Speeches about the Need for New Jobs

Can you imagine how much money is being spent so that

President Obama can 'listen' to the folks in Iowa,

Minnesota, and Illinois?

Uncle Sam's Youngest Son, Citizen Know Nothing,

Endorses Rick Perry for President

Have you seen Rick Perry's license plate?

Dow Drops 50 Points, Snaps One-Day Streak

Paul Ryan Checking to See If He

Has Time to Run for President

How can Rick Perry, who has been running for and/or holding

public office for 27 years, now be making a 'rookie mistake'?

Booster Says He Gave Cash, Jewelry, Prostitutes,

Field Slaves to University of Miami Players

"I like your version of history, Ms. Bachmann. 

It's more improbable than Mister Peabody's."