"Hey, kids, what time is it?" Once upon a time, every kid in America knew the answer to this question: it was 'Howdy Doody Time'. But then relativism began to set in and kids started answering, "8:20" or "10:15" or "12:10" or "3:40" or "7:55." That is, until one kid finally answered, "Inasmuch as time is an incorrigibly subjective concept, the correct answer is 'Miller Time'."
"Holy Mackerel, regardless of which way I look, people seem to be living in the future, like say 2010 or 2012, or in the past, like say 1980 or 1984. But no one seems to be living in the present, like say 2009."
Josh Marshall is puzzled: the 'nuclear option' was once thought to be abolishing the filibuster; "Now it's just pushing through a health care bill without Chuck Grassley." Sorry, Josh, but abolishing the filibuster wasn't the 'nuclear option'; it was the 'nucular option'.
Tony Scalia, influential leader of the Lou Costello School of Jurisprudence, says, "It's Constitutional to execute someone, whether he's guilty or not." This should ease the concerns of those innocent souls on Death Row who fear their executions might be unconstitutional.