Saturday, November 03, 2007

"There's no such thing as a free lunch! I'm Lindsey Graham,
and lunch with me costs $250 a plate!"

Did you notice that London's Daily Telegraph ranked
Evan Bayh #10 in its list of the Top 100 Influential
Liberals in the United States, way above Fearguth,
who didn't even make the top 10,000?
Turkey Quarantined After Attempting to
Invade Northern Iraq
Million Pounds of Ground Beef Recalled; "Yes," Says
World's Fattest Man, "I Remember Eating Them All"
Godzilla (1954)

Doddzilla (2008)
It was November 3, it was New Hampshire, and
Mitt Romney had forgotten to remove his
Invisible Man Halloween costume.
Stefan Holm Wins World Spine-Snapping Championship;
Gold Medal to Be Awarded Posthumously

"Less legato, Leopold, more staccato!"
In his Saturday radio address, President Bush 
proposed adding the sport of waterboarding to 
the 2012 Olympic Games in London.
Democratic Senators Dianne Feinstein and 
Charles Schumer said they would have to study 
the President's proposal before
declaring their position on the issue.

What Remained of Truth After Rudy
Giuliani Got Through With It
Lincoln the Railsplitter

Giuliani the Sidesplitter

China First Country to Mass Produce Weddings
with Fully Interchangeable Parts
Saint Hillary of the Granite State

Raushee Warren's famous 'sleeper punch' worked every time.
"No, I'm not playing the Area 51 video game, scumbag!"

Friday, November 02, 2007

Remember Yoda 41? Those were
the good old days, weren't they?
Richard Curtis, a Washington state Republican representative,
has resigned after it was revealed he wore women's lingerie at a
Spokane Valley porn shop and offered to pay a 26-year-old male
gay porn model he met there $1,000 for unprotected sex.
In honor of the occasion of his resignation, a new law, Curtis'
Law, has been formulated, which states, "The more vociferously
a Republican lawmaker condemns homosexuality, the more likely
he has to pay somebody to pave the streets of Sodom."
To take seriously the controversy over whether
Hillary Clinton has played the 'gender card' requires
that you first view the process of choosing the next
President of the United States as nothing more than a
game of cards. Come to think of it, maybe it is.
When he was forty years younger, Robert Plant sang
'Whole Lotta Love'. Now he sings, 'Little Bitta Love
(If I'm Lucky)'.

Soccer Player Gone Wild

Dayana Cadeau says her favorite body part
is her legs. Do you have a favorite body part?
Barking Spider
If you've been wanting to bite a badger, here's how to do it.
Strand of James Watson's DNA Showing Bigotry Gene
The King and Queen of Saudi Anglia
World's Worst Yoobs #8
Rachel Marsden
Shouldn't someone tell Rudy Giuliani that when the
doctors removed his prostate gland, they removed
his truth gland as well?
Nancy Nord, chief of the Consumer Products Safety
Commission, has been around the world in eighty
days, thanks to 'gift travel' paid for by the industries,
such as toy manufacturers, she supposedly regulates.
Perhaps it's time to recall something other than tainted toys.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Presidential Candidates Jockeying for Position
on Issue of Same-Shorts Marriage
Like Tantalus, they tried their best to touch the ball,
but it was always just out of their reach.
"Omigod! You were supposed to bring the
parachute, and I was supposed to bring the
picnic basket!"
"That's not my Mummy!" the infant cried preternaturally.
Spider-Man and the Web of Nonintersecting Lines
Media critics strongly disagree whether Dana Perino is more
like 'boothware' or more like 'vaporware'. There
is consensus,
however, that her face masks a Brobdingnagian vacuity
only exceeded by that of her boss.
The Bush Crime Family During
the Beverly Hillbillies Era
"Karen Hughes has carried out her work as the President's
Sycophant-in-Chief in spectacular fashion."
The Smoking Chimp

The Smirking Chimp

The Limited Edition Michelle Malkin iPhone has
four functions: mobile phone, music player, web
browser, and roto-rooter.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

The Washington Post reports that the government
of the United States will spend over $50 billion in 2007 for
spooks who work for the CIA, DIA, FBI, NSA, and BIR.
Happy Halloween, Everybody!
Did you know Michelle Malkin is left-handed? As such, that
automatically makes her (1) sinister, (2) gauche, (3) maladroit,
(4) awkward, (5) clumsy, (6) a member of a minority, and (7)
a victim of discrimination.
No wonder she has a persecution complex.
Are you in the market for a pre-owned Armored Personnel Carrier?
The Iraqi street price right now is at an all-time low, so if you're
interested, you'd better act pronto.
Where Modern-Day Disciples of John the Baptist
Buy Their Helmets
Tehran, home of the world's largest handmade carpet,
will host this year's Great Vacuum Cleaner Suckoff.
Police Still Failing to Keep Drag Racing Off DC Streets

Sukru Elekdag didn't know how much longer he could
keep balancing Turkey's political leadership on his head.
As a result of his party's defeat in the recent parliamentary
elections, Polish Prime Minister Jaroslaw Kaczynski will be
resigning on November 5. Observers say his fall from power
has really deflated his ego.