When Big Bend beckons, Fearguth can but

answer the call. As a consequence, he'll

be offline until December 31.

Next time you visit Harriman, Tennessee, don't forget

to ask the residents about 'clean coal'.

"Only 1% of Americans Believe Cheney

Greatest Vice President Ever," Says Poll;

"So What?" Says Cheney

Pontiff Draws Bright Line Between Shopping

for Clothing and Accessories at Cabela's

and Victoria's Secret

Santa was taking a well-deserved nap when

someone said, "Pardon Scooter Libby!"

President Indicating Size of Lump of Clean

Coal Santa Gave Him for Christmas

All Norm Coleman got for Christmas was a guest

spot on the popular self-help show, 'Daily

Affirmation with Stuart Smalley'.

In these tough economic times, simians are trying

all sorts of vigorous outreach strategies.

Miner Takes a Break in His Search for Clean Coal

Santa had completed all of his Christmas deliveries,

but his dogs were really tired.

Who says Santa Claus doesn't exist? The dolphins charged

with being the eyes in the ocean are certainly acting like he

does — and they've been joined on the Internet by millions

of believers.

American Empire #40

American Exceptionalism

"Oh, when the Santas go marching in
Oh, when the Santas go marching in
Lord, how I want to be in that number
When the Santas go marching in."

In Human Events, Ann Coulter has named Sarah Palin

'Conservative of the Year'. That's like Freddy Krueger

naming Jason Voorhees 'Slasher of the Year' in Famous

Monsters of Filmland.

What Awaits You in the Race to the Bottom

Star of Heckboy Claims to Be Affectionate

Twin Brother of Ron Perlman

Santa Claws to Star in Remake of

The Cat in the Hat

World's Worst Yoobs #32

Kathy Shaidle

The Wall Street Journal is recommending that President

Bush grant Scooter Libby a full pardon on the ground

that he always holds the door open for other people.

Was the President winking, or was he suffering

from Hell's Bells Palsy?

The Unexpurgated Bible #19

"He came to send fire on the earth. Too bad

there was so much straw in the manger."

Fearguth's Rules of Order #23

If a lion wants to open Christmas gifts early,

let it.

Children, beware the 13th Day of Christmas!

If they ask, tell the children Saint Nicholas has gone

to see a man about a dog.

To be "sold down the river" means to be betrayed. To be

"sent up the river" means to go to jail. So, it's unclear

what Pajamas Media thinks it is doing to the

mainstream media by sending them down the river.

Clean Clay Carolers

Osama Bin Laden Unsure Dick Cheney Still Alive

What Young Boys Wanted for Christmas in

the Dark Ages

What They Want in the Age of Enlightenment

Meterologists Forecasting Major Flight Delays for

Santa Claus This Christmas

Third Way is a non-profit, non-partisan, thin-skinned

think tank based in Washington, D. C.

You could tell he had been bullshitted for quite some time.

The Unexpurgated Bible #18

Baby David Prepares to Play Chase

with the Goliath Twins

Jennifer Palmieri, Acting CEO of the

Center for American Progress Action

Fund and Matt Yglesias' Nanny

Have you kicked an investment banker lately?

Animal Wrangler for Slumdog Millionaire

Obama Chooses Author of The Belly Driven Life

to Give Inaugural Invocation

World's Worst Yoobs #31

Marie Jon'

Fearguth's Rules of Order #22

Your pet hyena loves to laugh, so tell it lots of jokes.

On this day in 1940, Francis and Rosemary celebrated

the birth of their very own Zappaberration.

How Luvs Are Field Tested for Bear Hug Stretch

and Ultra Leak Protection

Duggar Family Announces Plan to Colonize Mars

What to Wear on the Shortest Day of the Year