Saturday, April 11, 2009

Whether we want to or not, all
of us will eventually 'chill out' .

'Gilt by Association' is an informal logical fallacy
to which lovers often fall prey.
"Calm down, my child! Glenn Beck is not your
father! He only acts that way to entertain your
crazy uncles, Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch."
If the Easter Bunny doesn't show up in
your neighborhood this year, here's why.
Q: What's dropping as much as GM stock?
A: The GOP's approval rating and elephant dung.
"Gee, so that's what the Mound of Venus looks like!"
Mighty Hermaphrodite
After the Tea Parties came the Coffee Klatches.
David Broder's Wet Dream
Crow Eats Crow, Rejects Cannibalism Charge
Just in Time for Easter: The Larry Craig Peep Show

Friday, April 10, 2009

Realizing that the tide of history had turned against
them, the Pittsburgh Pirates changed their name to the
Pennsylvania Patriots.

According to the latest Rasmussen poll, only 53% of Americans
believe that eating apple pie is better than having a root canal.
"Is this the beginning of the end?" rightbloggers are asking.
Did God put Texas Governor Rick Perry on this
Earth to scare us, like the Crimson Ghost, or to
make us laugh, like Stepin Fetchit?
Old Buchanans never die. They just get
older and more apoplectic.
Do not adjust your screen resolution. This is the way
Newt Gingrich actually looks when his 'conservative
intellectual' mask is removed.
How To Convince Your Brain to Stop Over-Eating
Doctor Recommends Low-Sodium Diet for Karl Rove;
"Salt Is Especially Bad for Slugs," He Says
Don't tell Secretary Gates that 'reforming' the Pentagon's
budget is like leaving the dirty diaper on the baby and only
changing the safety pins. That will just piss him off and
make him sound even more like someone whose voice has
undergone a radical bassectomy.
J. Edgar Hoover and Clyde Tolson Scoping Out Karl Rove's
'Loyalty File'; "Feeney's Name Was in Our File, Too,"
They Disclose
Tired of the same old sausage-on-a-stick,
day after day? Well, have you tried this
Chinese palate pleaser?
Leon Panetta, CIA Director, said that agency officers who
practiced torture during the Bush Administration "should
not be investigated, let alone punished." He then concluded
his remarks with a cat-ate-the-canary grin.

"CIA Black Sites To Go Dark," the TPM headline reads.
Okey-dokey, but how can something that's already
'black' go 'dark'?
Fox News Rips Mask Off Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood,
Shows It Was Breeding Ground for Socialists, Like
Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, Barack Obama, and
Seventeen Members of the House of Representatives
Meghan McCain Inks Full-Figure Book Deal
Even if he loses to Al Franken, Norm Coleman
will still have Laurie to come home to.
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #32
Bill Posey
When it comes to dealing with the financial crisis, the
Obama Administration needs to put its best face
forward. This isn't it.
American Empire #45
Sovereign Immunity
"Representative Bachus claims there are only 17
Socialists in the House. What a namby-pamby
fellow traveler he is! There are 235 Communists
in the House, and I have the list here to prove it!"
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #31
Spencer Bachus

Wall Street Populists Who Listen to Rush Limbaugh
at High Risk of Banal Poisoning
Safe Sax

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Obama Administration Allowing Bush/Cheney
War Criminals to Wash Hands with Lie Soap
Have you noticed that the 12 Values in Glenn Beck's
9/12 Project are represented by the rattle at the
tail end of a poisonous snake?
Isn't the 'Private Sector' the reason we wear clothes?
And doesn't it become the 'Public Sector' when we
take them off?
Betty Brown wants Asians living in Texas to adopt
names that are "easier for Americans to deal with."
Hubert Vo, her colleague in the Texas House of
speaks fluent Vietnamese,
Spanish, French, and English. He may well
wonder why his surname, the shortest of
any lawmaker in Austin--and 60% shorter
than Brown's--is so hard for her to deal with.
"Extremist Rhetoric Won't Rebuild GOP," the headline reads.
That's true, but rebuilding the GOP is not what the Lunatic
Fringe has in mind.
Wizened Woman Preparing to Explicate Alexandre
Kojève's Introduction to the Reading of Hegel
Ted Stevens Announces Candidacy for Senate in 2014,
Claims He Has a Lock on the Alaskan Nonagenerian Vote
Lucy tended toward melancholy, especially when she
wondered if she had been fated to be the ancestor to the
genus Homo, which includes the modern human species,
Homo sapiens.
Man Reloading His Hairy Armadillo
American Empire #44
State Secrets Privilege
Fearguth's Hall of Wackos #30
Louie Gohmert

"Big Liberal Bloggers Tee Off On Progressive
Groups For Not Sharing Ad Wealth." So reads
the headline. Ya know, there are days when
Fearguth is so happy he's not a 'big liberal
blogger'. Today is one of them.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

"Springtime for Summers Much Funnier
Than Springtime for Hitler," Critics Say
"Yes, there's only one fear greater
than Baracknophobia and that's
ShamWow! easily removes cola, wine and pet
stains---but not, apparently, bloodstains.