Hotter Than Saturday Night Fever!

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #203

Monty Python & the Quest for the

Holy Shit!

Two Jabbas

Times were tough in Bartertown.

Trump Campaign Rolls Out New Ad

But there was no there there, so the buck never stopped.

Trump Says He's Been Tested for Coronavirus

 But Not For Pendejovirus

Maybe not, but Trump does look oranger than usual.

Like the Spanish Inquisition, nobody

expected the Corncob Lobby.

The Ghost of Twitter Past

He was rudely reminded that there would be days when you

 simply couldn't Keep on Truckin'.

"Well, I just think it's a nasty question,"

Trump said petulantly.

"I'm not dead yet!" Biden exclaimed.

Don Quixote tilted at windmills,

Trump tilts at Obama.

When the lemmings jumped off the cliff, their fall was

 cushioned by 40-pack bundles of toilet paper.

He was on the verge of thinking a kind thought about

John McCain.  Then Sarah Palin hit the stage.

More Bad News for Trump: Twitter Bird Tests 

Positive for Coronavirus

Trump has that Hoobert Heever look, don't you think?

The Mask of the Orange Avenger

If you were to lay $11.5 trillion dollar bills end-to-end,

they would stretch 1 billion 114 million 350 thousand

 miles (1,114,350,000 miles).  Like a merkin,

that's a fur piece.

The Roller Coaster to Hell

OK, so we should wash our hands every time we blow our

 noses, cough, or sneeze.  If you're a Millipede, that's easier

 said than done.

Contrary to popular belief, COVID-19 is not a 

video game sequel to DOOM.

Trump Gives His Immune System Two Thumbs Up

"Who knoweth whether thou art come to the kingdom 

for such a time as this?"

Coming Soon to a Theatre Near You #202

CAPS LOCK: The Musical

Smiling Is Infectious, Too

Trump's speech from the Oval Office 

has now been quarantined.

An Entertainer for the Plague Year

Remember Bushisms?  That was yesterday.

Trumpspeak is today.

During the Great Toilet Paper Panic of 2020, 

no corncob was safe.

“The virus story is not going to last forever,” 

said Larry Kudlow.  And, with luck, nor will

 the Trump Administration.

Same Day, Same Publication:  

Well, Vox, which is it?

Little Known Alternative Fact #6

It's National Irony Day!

Trump Wearing His New Stock Market Hat

Is the coronavirus upwardly mobile?

"Shut this puppy down!" the James Carville impersonator

exclaimed.

Jones Claims Horse Was High on Locoweed;

"My BAC Was Under the Legal Limit," He Says

Trish Regan must be smoking crack again.

Even God took the coronavirus seriously.

Texas GOPers are the worst.  No brag, just fact.

Trump Claims Coronavirus Epidemic a HUGE Hoax

Perpetrated by the Hand Sanitizer Industry

Even Mr Potato Head knows that!

When the Penisaurus Erectus Ruled the Earth

In the old days, this was called 'Senility'.

Today it's called 'Making America Great Again'.

Although he had contact at CPAC with someone who has

been diagnosed with the coronavirus, Louie Gohmert is

adamant in his refusal to self-quarantine.  Luckily, not

that many people want to get close to him anyway.

He hadn't been diagnosed with the coronavirus

and he didn't quite understand the link between

the virus and toilet paper, but he wasn't taking

any chances.

Paul Gosar Self-Quarantines After Shaking Hands with

Coronavirus-Infected CPACer, Refuses to Share 

Isolation Chamber with Ted Cruz

Doctor Bornstein Sez:  "Wash your hands, don't look at 

your 401k, take two aspirin, and call me in the morning."

Caution:  MAGA Hat Area